My DH has changed my baby’s name….

[Lilysienna1]

… or at least, he’s TOLD everyone a different name. I’m pretty sure I am not being unreasonable. This is more of what would be a reasonable response. Because right now I’m ready to LTB.

I have recently given birth to our 3rd and final baby. I had a difficult birth, and have just got home from hospital after a 10 day stay.
As we did with previous births, we’ve not allowed any visitors and as I’ve been so unwell, I’ve actually only bothered with my
phone to snap a few photos, in between sleeping and feeding etc. Not announced the birth on social media, and only spoke with my mum and sisters.

I arrive home today and started opening cards and presents that family and friends (from DH side) have dropped round. All with congratulations on the birth of ‘Georgina.’

This would be lovely, if her name was Georgina. However, it isn’t or at least it wasn’t. We had agreed on Emmeline. Georgina was a top contender, but I just didn’t love it as much as Emmeline. DH had not expressed how much he loved the name Georgina - he was very much ‘I like all the names on the shortlist. You can choose.’ Which I did. Emmeline.

so of course, I confront him on it. We didn’t share any names with friends and family, so I knew they hadn’t just taken a wild guess. He looked a bit sheepish and said ‘I was going to tell you. I just don’t think I can imagine calling her Emmeline. Georgina is a better fit.’
Oh and ‘Everyone agrees’ he said. (his mum then basically)

‘I was going to tell you’ doesn’t really cut it here does it? I will admit neither of us were really using her name in the hospital, we were calling her ‘little bean’ which was a silly but sentimental name we had for her when she was just a bump. But of course I’ve said Emmeline a few times and I’m sure he has as well.

He said he was really sorry, but ‘everyone’ was asking for a name and he felt he had to make a decision (that we had already made) and so he ‘went with Georgina.’
He says he can understand why I am upset but as we both like Georgina, why can’t we use it. Seeing as she doesn’t ‘feel like an Emmeline.’

if this had been discussed, then sure, we both have to feel comfortable with the end name, but that decision can’t be with one parent alone, behind the other ones back. He says I was too unwell to really decide. Yes, I was unwell. But perfectly capable of a conversation.

oh and his mum has already ordered ‘Georgina’ a personalised baby blanket 🥴

Just have to ask @Lilysienna1 when you said you were planning on having a rational conversation at the weekend with him, did you actually mean bury him under the patio?

I’m sure many of us here will help dig up and relay the patio and others will offer alibis should the fuzz come knocking.

This happened to my sister too. She was Kate. Agreed the entire pregnancy. Then when she was born, name on wristband, my dad changed it to my grandma’s name. Then my cousin was born a couple of years later and named kate…

Yes I get that, but in that case usually both parents are aware that no decision has been made. In this case the OP is adamant that a decision had been made. Which is why I don't understand why, unless she was literally unconscious for the ten days of her confinement, it never came up in conversation either with the midwives, or more importantly with her husband.

Yes, I think this is a good idea. This is one of those times when it’s more polite to be direct.

Also, a couple of people have said that you should say that you don’t know where Georgina came from. Don’t do this because it isn’t true - it’s a name you discussed and didn’t go with.

It doesn’t matter if your MIL has ordered a blanket with Georgina on it. The child can still use it.

Tbh I'm not sure about Emmeline as a name..

I agree with not saying you don’t know where it came from etc. You do know where it came from so that isn’t true and makes it all sound wrapped in contention - and people will just focus on the fact “they are sure you HAD mentioned it etc. “

Just play it simple and say you don’t feel it suits her. You’re allowed to just change your mind in these early weeks - especially if you’ve been a while in hospital .

I would be telling him his not sidelining me on the choice of our child's name, the child I gave birth too. Either it's the name you both agreed or something totally different as to go with Georgina now would bother me forever after he chose it without my agreement. The personalised blanket can be sold by nanny as there will be other georginas.

Whats wrong with a Richard? You wish you were married to a Richard!

I actually love it. There’s a very sweet poem by AA Milne about a little Emmeline.

But given the family controversy and the fact DH seems to have been keen to dodge it, I think a fresh name altogether might be the best idea.

Someone suggested Beatrice, which shortened to Bea is very close to Bean which they have been calling her, and that sounded quite a natural transition ?

Anyway OP what’s a happenin?!

Has MIlL cut up the blanket in pique?

Updates needed!

I've not RTFT here bit good grief the fact you haven't removed your DH's head is a wonder and I'm quite certain there isn't a court in the land that would convict you.

Georgina is lovely but its not Emmeline. And when shortened its inevitably George or Georgie which isn't as nice as Emmie. He needs to give his family a call, terribly sorry HE has made a mistake, there was a misunderstanding and her name is Emmeline. Do not leave it to stew.

My uncle was tasked with registering my cousins birth. I will change the name but effectively he registered her as Gemma but should have been Emma. She has always been Emma and nobody was any the wiser until the registrar looked at her birth certificate when she got married and discovered that wasnt her name. Get it sorted, and maybe registered the birth yourself so he can't "forget"

He needs to be correcting them ASAP

FWIW I told everyone the wrong name for one of mine. No idea where the name came from as it wasn’t one that had been discussed but it was fun correcting people. I was off my face though.

Total wanker

Im sisorry to say, Georgina /george/georgie is better than Emmeline /Emmy/Emma

We really need an ‘everyone is BU’ button.

Don’t mention the issue anymore. Get the name [Emmeline] registered asap and keep
calling her that. When he asked what the hell?! you can tell him that’s how it feels, and let him work out how to tell people how stupid he was.

Oh and who are the 6% who voted that YABU 😳

If your husband is an otherwise good guy perhaps let him win this one. It makes him happy and that should make you happy. It will make a great family story for years to come. Congratulations on your baby girl!

You could address him as "sir" or "mister X" untill he decides to name your baby the name you hade agreed on!

@Lilysienna1 ring up the registry office and book an appointment. Even if you have to crawl there. Register the name you both agreed on. His mother can cancel the order for the blanket with the other name. Release the baby's name in a flourish of sm and WhatsApp posts.

I must admit, I prefer Georgina - but that's not the point. 😉

I don't think you can now use either name (as a first name, anyway). There will always be a negative connotation to either. Why not choose another name that you can both agree on and have the others as middle names?

And if his mum doesn't like it? Tough!

But OP already has a Henrietta so she worried about Henry and George which sounds a bit like they really wanted sons, and I sort of agree that with both it becomes a little thematic.

Emmeline can be Millie?

Emmeline Georgia it is then.

Go register then send round the announcement on socials.

Tell husband something like, “It will forever remind me of you changing the chosen name without telling me if we register her as Georgia now! Since you love it so much, it’s the middle name.” And go and register the birth now. Congratulations on a healthy child.

In your opinion, which probably doesn't interest OP.

I don't think she asked for views on her name choice?

This might go down like a lead shite but in my eyes, YOU have done all the hard work carrying and forming the baby. YOU get to decide her name. All he’s done is spunked his load and got lucky. Let’s face it, women do most of the work, yeah yeah there’s always the anomalies but in general, we do. Therefore, you choose your daughter name and worry not one drop about what he thinks. 😉
oh and yes, he’s been completely unreasonable! LTB!

No. Just no.

This happened to my Nana too, she was called Audrey but her birth certificate was Sarah.
My grandad didn't find out until the vicar said
"Do you take Sarah..."
"Who?"
😂😂😂

I'd be really annoyed OP and let your husband know you are and tell all of your in-laws - but ask him rationally if he really doesn't like Emmaline if you can find a different name entirely since very time you say Georgina you're reminded what an absolute weapon he is.