To think perhaps he deserved getting punched??

[Blouseybiggal]

Tricky one as far as I’m concerned - violence bad but this guy was being a homophobic dick so…

Friend’s brother is a bit of an arsehole, winds people up, thinks he’s funny. I have as little to do with him as possible as he’s a right wing type who always thinks he’s right and could start an argument in an empty room.

So, Jeff is in a bar with his girlfriend. A gay couple - one ‘girlie’ one more masc looking ( apparently) - stand near them at the bar ordering drinks, minding their own biz.

Jeff, loud enough for half the bar to hear, says ‘ I don’t get it. If you’re going to go for someone who looks like a man, why not just go out with a man’ at the couple.

The ‘girlie’ woman says ‘what did you say?’ To him, he repeats it, and she punches him in the face. He falls over, his girlfriend is outraged, the gay couple leave.

For what it’s worth, I’m genuinely surprised he doesn’t get thumped more often.

YANBU - he deserved that! Homophobic prick.

YABU - he’s entitled to his opinion, violence is never the answer.

What a satisfying tale. I’m delighted he was punched.

Well, hopefully he's learned a lesson.

Theres something satisfying about bullies getting exactly what they deserve.

I very much enjoyed the mental images from your post 😊

I'm glad it was the "girlie" one who punched him!

I won't be losing any sleep over some idiot getting punched.

Well I can never in good conscience condone violence but if I were to condone violence I would wholeheartedly condone that example.

He is entitled to his opinion. He is not entitled to attack people with hate speech. Legally, the punch was not justified but morally he got what he deserved.

Why didn’t the pub kick the homophobic dickhead out? If this actually happened, I think I’d have to contact the bar and say I was there that evening and ask why they allowed an openly homophobic man who insulted other customers to stay in the bar. Obviously they have to kick out the person who did the punching (even though I agree that he needed to be punched) but they needed to kick out the homophobic dick too.

He had it coming

You need a third option - he is not entitled to be homophobic towards others, and violence is not the answer.

I hope it really happened like that, because if so he deserved it. She shouldn't have done it, but I'd have mentally cheered her on nonetheless.

Sometimes people have to learn the hard way

Would it be OK if defended himself and hit her back ?.

There are better options than violence. But some people really do just need a massive punch to the face. Hopefully it will serve as a lasting reminder that he shouldnt be such a wanker. Prob wont though.

He was rude and homophobic and got what he deserved. Personally I wouldn't have punched him as I don't do violence, but I don't think I'd be losing much sleep over him getting punched by someone he'd been extremely rude to.

People like him are the reason that we still have problems with homophobia, racism, sexism, the whole lot. They go around doing stupid things like this and then the victims of his shit feel as though this is how society feels about them. When in reality, most of society are decent people who live and let live.

I'm interested in what you believe the answer to be though.

Because, although I wouldn't have done the violence personally, I don't really see how he is going to be re-educated or reprimanded for what he did. And it's clear that he does it habitually - the lack of consequences each time allows him to do it some more.

I am not sure how to vote.

Firstly, I don't like your descriptive terms in your OP ('girlie'; 'masc'). I understand you are trying to give context but hate characterising anyone in that way.

Jeff is obnoxious, obviously and I wouldn't lose sleep about his being hit BUT I don't think violence is the answer, and in a different situation, the woman who hit him could have herself been injured, as a man will usually be physically stronger and likely to inflict more damage, if he retaliates.

That would depend on whether the court accepted it as legitimately meeting the various criteria for self defence or if they considered it retaliation. Let's not drag this thread down to the tired old misogynistic debate of when is it all right for a man to hit a woman though.

No, he didn't deserve it to be punched. What if it was a comment you did agree with that got someone punched? But others thought it fine cos the puncher and everyone else felt the comment was offensive?
There's a ton of other options both socially and legally to combat hateful comments, but violence is not the way.

@Caerulea no need for that - posters are allowed to ask questions/pose viewpoints.

Exactly this. My DD is gay. I'd have been the one doing the punching if I'd have heard that. (And I don't condone violence at all.)

It was not in good faith, it was a typical MRA response. So yes, it was needed.

'Typical MRA response' - I've no idea about the poster's credentials, but I don't think it's an invalid question.

if she hit him, can he then hit her? (No, is my answer). But then I don't think her hitting him in the first place is correct or appropriate.

I think he deserved it but at the same time it's a bad idea to punch anyone. I saw a documentary once on how one well placed punch can kill or brain damage. You don't want that on your conscience over a stupid comment. You could just walk away and suggest to the bar tender he's banned.