To have still gone out yesterday?

[KettleOFish]

I had a mother's day meal planned yesterday with my mum and my child.

DH was never going to come, but he didn't seen to mind, probably just happy to get some time to himself.

Until DSC ended up being with us yesterday. Their mum ended up doing some over time on Sunday so they came Sat night (didn't find out until Saturday) and stayed all day yesterday. Which is fine.

However, DH then expected me to want to spend the day with all the kids instead and was pissed off that I still went out with my mum and child and left them at home. I also went back to my mums after the meal for a while instead of going home (probably petty but it annoyed me that he expected me to change my plans).

He thinks I've been unreasonable not to do something that involved all DC on mothers day. I disagree as I already had plans and I just wanted to spend the day with my mum and my own child.

Expecially step kids being forced to celebrate mothers day with their step mum

What did dad do instead? Did he mope about the house with her or did he take her out?

It was Mother's day. Their mum had to work. They may well have wanted to spend time with step-mother
But op didn't want that

Shouldn't the husband have went and looked after his children then? It's mother's day, so OP should have been allowed to chill.

Exactly bloody this!!

It’s not the OPs job to make step DC welcome and she had plans already. I know most MN thinks the entire universe revolves around step kids , but news flash. It doesn’t.

you were 100% right to continue your day OP and I hope it wasn’t spoilt but anyone’s selfish expectations.

You did nothing wrong! Why should you change your plans to accommodate DH last minute changes?

Your H is BU. They are his kids and you already had plans. He could have done a number of things with his own kids. Sounds like he wanted help looking after them.

He's being unreasonable.

He should have come to the lunch and brought his dc with him if he wanted them included.

Fucking cheek expecting you to have his dc on mothers day while he sits on his ass at home

Tbf that's what he was suggesting, coming with us him and DSC.

Correction - he got a 1-1 day with his son (not step child to the father here, just child/son). He could have done something special with him.

Although we'd have had to go somewhere else as we'd booked a table at the restaurant we went to.

Why does OP have to invite her husband and kids? It’s her Mother’s Day, she wants to celebrate with HER mother and the child SHE is a mother to.

Thereby monopolising Mother’s Day.

What did he organise for you?

Don’t think that needed a correction, we all knew what the poster meant. Acronyms can get confusing when you have to adapt them for each person.

How old is DSC?

On a busy day like Mother’s Day it’s not as simple as just adding 2 more to the booking, or going somewhere else. Everywhere near us was booked up weeks ago. I also think it would be very poor form to ditch your mum or to cancel the booking at the last minute.
Dad agrees to have the child, then dad needs to look after them. Sounds like he wanted you to do all the work here op. YANBU for sticking with your plans.

💯💯💯

Was he as pissed off their own dm wasn't arsed about spending the day with them? Good for you that your plans came first.

I did get breakfast in bed, cup of tea, present from our DC etc.. which was nice. But was looking forward to going out with mum.

Wasn't he just mad he had to actually parent yesterday?

But he didn’t want to come before, right? He was happy for you to go alone until that meant he had DSC to look after on his own?

He just didn’t want to parent alone which is sad because he should have been looking forward to one on one time with his child.

Ironically, if he and his ex had stayed together, he would have had to spend Mother’s Day in exactly the same way if she had to work overtime.

It was Mother’s Day. You already had plans with your mother. He has no grounds to be pissed off. None.

Asking his DC if they wanted to come along on your lunch would have been kind and inclusive. Maybe they would prefer 1:1 time with their dad anyway. BUT if he expected you to drop your plans to help him parent his child then YANBU.

I hope he used the time with his DC wisely and helped them create something nice (cake/card) for their mum who was working that day.

It was mother's day.. Op isn't their dm.
End of the matter imo..

OP had plans with her DC - how is it fair that she has to change her plans as DH suddenly wants to spend time with her NOW his DC are with them.

DH could easily take his DC out. Its not for OP to have to change her plans on her mothers day