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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Upset about Mothers Day card

323 replies

Strawberry06 · 10/03/2024 13:54

Before I start I probably am being unreasonable but I can't help the way I feel.

Today is my first ever Mother's Day and my husband usually gets me a nice card for other occasions and writes a personal message inside.

Anyway for some reason he decided to go down the moonpig route and he made me a personalised card using a photo of me and the baby. In said photo I look horrendous, I've had no sleep, no make up on, not even brushed hair and the card is the whole photo. I couldn't help but cringe when I opened it and then burst out crying. Then there's just the most basic line of text inside.

I know I probably sound so ungrateful and there are much more important things but all I wanted was just a normal cute mummy card with a handwritten message inside for my first Mother's Day and I can't help but think he's ruined it and I'm so upset about it.

He knows the cards are important to me I don't ask for or expect anything else but a nice card I don't feel like it's a lot to ask!

OP posts:
jellyfishbubbles · 10/03/2024 13:55

Keep that card. In 20 years you or your little one will treasure it

ilovesooty · 10/03/2024 13:57

He put thought and effort into creating it. I expect it took longer than grabbing a generic card from the shops.

Mindymomo · 10/03/2024 13:58

As someone whose adult Son and DH don’t do anything for my Mothers Day, think on it as he tried, maybe he likes that photo of you, my DH wouldn’t have a clue how to get a card from Moonpig.

Dishwashersaurous · 10/03/2024 13:59

I assume that he chose the photo because he liked it and thought you looked amazing.

He's made an effort and done something nice.

Don't make.this into a negative thing

Dogdilemma2000 · 10/03/2024 13:59

He tried. It genuinely is the thought that counts here.

Redglitter · 10/03/2024 14:00

Sorry but YABU. Hes gone to the bother of arranging a personalised card. I bet he chose that photo because he loves it, you & your brand new baby. He won't see it the way you see it.

Hes not ruined it. As pp says put it away & you'll probably look back in years to come & see it very differently

Travelmaama · 10/03/2024 14:00

I'd definitely keep the card. You might not like it now but I promise you'll cherish it in years to come.

Dewdilly · 10/03/2024 14:00

I think he’s put a lot of thought and effort into it. He probably thought it was amusing in a good way. Better that than a generic card.

Nudgethatjudge · 10/03/2024 14:00

I bet he thinks you look fabulous in the photo. You might not look glamorous in it but he might think you and baby are beaming with love.

Original poster
Strawberry06 · 10/03/2024 14:01

@ilovesooty I disagree. The whole front of the card is just the photo. It's not like it's even a design or template. I maybe wouldn't have minded so much if that was the case. He even said it wasn't what he wanted to do.

It would have taken him longer to actually go to the shops, look for a nice card and write his own personal message.

OP posts:
MiltonNorthern · 10/03/2024 14:02

I'm sorry but you are being SO unreasonable. Don't be surprised if he doesn't do anything next year in case he gets it wrong.

Daffsinfeb · 10/03/2024 14:02

YABVU he made a good effort. Seriously get a grip.
This time next year you will cringe at your reaction to this.

HelloMiss · 10/03/2024 14:02

No pleasing some people!

Another ungrateful Mother's Day post....

Smartiepants79 · 10/03/2024 14:02

My DH has a tendency to choose photos of me for things like this that I often think are awful.
He simply doesn’t see them the same way I do. It’s a mix of sweet and annoying! He just seems to always think I look great! Especially in the scenario you describe, my and that photo is a special memory for him of you caring for his baby?? I know that’s how my DH would see it.
He has made more effort than a generic card from Tesco.

WYorkshireRose · 10/03/2024 14:03

Oh I see, you're going to be one of those posters that refused to accept they're unreasonable. Curious why you posted?

Mademetoxic · 10/03/2024 14:03

HelloMiss · 10/03/2024 14:02

No pleasing some people!

Another ungrateful Mother's Day post....

So many of these today.

FrazzledMCPremenopausalWoman · 10/03/2024 14:04

Doesn't everyone look horrific in every photo during the first year of motherhood? I know I did!

Honestly OP he's made an effort, I'm sorry you're feeling down about the photo but in years to come when your LO isn't so little, you'll treasure those photos.

Try not to be upset, he's tried to do a nice thing for you - it might not have been what you wanted but at least the thought was there.

Hope you enjoy the rest of your day with LO 💐

Throwawayme · 10/03/2024 14:04

Come on, you're being silly

DanielGault · 10/03/2024 14:05

Redglitter · 10/03/2024 14:00

Sorry but YABU. Hes gone to the bother of arranging a personalised card. I bet he chose that photo because he loves it, you & your brand new baby. He won't see it the way you see it.

Hes not ruined it. As pp says put it away & you'll probably look back in years to come & see it very differently

This!!!

Mummame222 · 10/03/2024 14:05

Strawberry06 · 10/03/2024 14:01

@ilovesooty I disagree. The whole front of the card is just the photo. It's not like it's even a design or template. I maybe wouldn't have minded so much if that was the case. He even said it wasn't what he wanted to do.

It would have taken him longer to actually go to the shops, look for a nice card and write his own personal message.

So many AIBU threads about MD and I’ve stuck up for all the OPs or voted no.

YBVU.

Really unfair OP. He tried.

ilovebreadsauce · 10/03/2024 14:06

jellyfishbubbles · 10/03/2024 13:55

Keep that card. In 20 years you or your little one will treasure it

And when yo I are 20 years older ypu will think the photo is damaged good

Aquamarine1029 · 10/03/2024 14:07

Did you ask him why he chose that particular photo?

TheOnlyHonestOne · 10/03/2024 14:07

I didn’t get a card, husband tetchy all morning & told me he ‘just needs a rest’ this afternoon so I guess it’s all on me u til bedtime.
he just told me he’s got a card but doesn’t have the head space to write it.
might shove it up his arse.
so…. I’d love an ugly card … 🤣

Rocknrolla21 · 10/03/2024 14:07

He’s literally had a custom made card with probably what he thought was his favourite card of you and the baby. He clearly doesn’t care about your hair and make up. What a lovely man. Yabvvvu

ilovesooty · 10/03/2024 14:08

Strawberry06 · 10/03/2024 14:01

@ilovesooty I disagree. The whole front of the card is just the photo. It's not like it's even a design or template. I maybe wouldn't have minded so much if that was the case. He even said it wasn't what he wanted to do.

It would have taken him longer to actually go to the shops, look for a nice card and write his own personal message.

Well it appears you've made up your mind to be upset no matter what and you're just going to disagree with anyone offering an alternative viewpoint. Why bother asking AIBU if you've made up your mind that you aren't?