Upset about Mothers Day card

[Strawberry06]

Before I start I probably am being unreasonable but I can't help the way I feel.

Today is my first ever Mother's Day and my husband usually gets me a nice card for other occasions and writes a personal message inside.

Anyway for some reason he decided to go down the moonpig route and he made me a personalised card using a photo of me and the baby. In said photo I look horrendous, I've had no sleep, no make up on, not even brushed hair and the card is the whole photo. I couldn't help but cringe when I opened it and then burst out crying. Then there's just the most basic line of text inside.

I know I probably sound so ungrateful and there are much more important things but all I wanted was just a normal cute mummy card with a handwritten message inside for my first Mother's Day and I can't help but think he's ruined it and I'm so upset about it.

He knows the cards are important to me I don't ask for or expect anything else but a nice card I don't feel like it's a lot to ask!

Bloody autocorrect

• you will thinknthevphoto looks good in 20 years time

YABU. I think you are being miserable and ungrateful, he made an effort.

Another vote for YABU, I'm afraid. But you've just given birth so if you can't be totally unreasonable two weeks after having a baby, when the hell can you be?Don't let it ruin your day, @Strawberry06 .

I feel sorry for your OH, he’s made a lovely gesture in ordering a special card for you and you’ve thrown it all back in his face and spoilt the day.
Do you know what, sometimes in life you just have to smile sweetly and accept the kindness someone has shown even if it’s not exactly what you want. It’s one of life’s lessons.
I suspect you’re very young, there are two ways to go through life, one is acting like a grown up, one is acting like a spoilt child.

You could look at it another way - you thought you looked terrible but he saw the beauty in the moment, it's not all about the hair or the make up.

YANBU OP @Strawberry06

all these posters are being so disingenuous….NO ONE in reality would want a card with a photo on of themselves looking shit!

I know on mumsnet it’s seen as shallow and common and somehow not maternal to care about what you look like but in reality we all care about what we look like!

@DiscoBeat

no way would I want a pic of myself on a card where I don’t have my hair and make up done. Like why would I?!

Mmm, isn't hard to find a nice photo

@IDontOftenComment

Op is a woman, I’m sure she’s well used to smiling sweetly, saying nothing and supressing how she really feels for the good of others.

Anything with a photo of you and the baby shows something of an effort on his part. He obviously likes that picture. To burst into tears over a personalised card seems excessive. Is there more to this? How is he in general, how's your relationship?

You may see yourself that way, but your husband may see it as strength, that you were smiling through tiredness, what an amazing mum you are. It's not all about flawless skin and perfectly posed photos, that one obviously meant something to him so try and see the superficial aspects and think about it from a deeper perspective

Everyone is different fgs. I'm lazy, too lazy for hair and make up. You're obviously different. I swear to god, I'm not usually on the side of the men, but god love them.

If her feelings are totally unreasonable yes that’s what should happen.

@GoodnightAdeline

her feelings aren’t unreasonable though

all those people saying the husband obviously likes the photo , likes it cos he prefers op with no make up on etc

who cares?!

op doesn’t like the photo and that’s what matters! Cos it’s for her! It’s not about him!

and presumably he should know his wife well enough to know that photo isn’t one she likes

He found time to fuck off to the cinema on his own though, didn’t he?

Also, he’s probably just grabbed at the first photo he found of the OP and the baby on his phone. There’s no thought here at all.

I mean it's your fault for not looking good without make-up.🤣🤷‍♀️

Just kidding! What else do you want? Next thing you going to say he did a bad picture on purpose just to hurt you🙄

Sometimes a man just can't win

I've sent out Christmas cards of ds and I with no makeup or hair done.

I like hair and makeup but personally feel prettier without.

Sorry but this is ridiculous, I’m lucky if I even get a basic “Happy Mother’s Day” text. Even if I didn’t like the photo, I’d be so grateful if I got a personalised card rather than just one picked up from the shop

I understand how you feel, you have had some expectations of it and you feel disappointed. Even though your DH meant well. It's a bit how I felt when my proud DH posted the first photo of the baby on social media, not long after I gave birth. There we were in the photo, me just after the C section, in the recovery room, canula in the hand, bags under my eyes (after being in labour all night), pale, no make-up, hair in a mess, the baby quite red, with congested eyelids, you know, that look right after birth that "only a mother could love". I was horrified when I saw it, but at that time DH totally believed both of us looked gorgeous and amazing. And because by the time I saw the picture people had been busy and sending congrats, I couldn't really ask him to delete it, but I was not happy. The hormones could have had something to do with it too, I was in tears. Now we laugh about it, and yes, every year when I see it in my "memories feed" on FB I tease him about his choice. Even though when I saw it first I really wanted to throw something at him. Poor guy, he meant well!

Maybe the pressure was too much and he had a bit of a brain fart - I can get a bit fixated on how meaningful things need to be and end up a bit paralysed and panicky!

If it makes you feel any better, a friend of mine got, on her first mother's day, a card that said 'You're like a mum to me' which was a little...unexpected given she had given birth a couple of weeks earlier too!

I bet he thought you looked beautiful in that photo. What can be more beautiful than the mother of his new born child

So because your kids/partner are crap everyone else should settle for the bare minimum too?