Upset about Mothers Day card

[Strawberry06]

Before I start I probably am being unreasonable but I can't help the way I feel.

Today is my first ever Mother's Day and my husband usually gets me a nice card for other occasions and writes a personal message inside.

Anyway for some reason he decided to go down the moonpig route and he made me a personalised card using a photo of me and the baby. In said photo I look horrendous, I've had no sleep, no make up on, not even brushed hair and the card is the whole photo. I couldn't help but cringe when I opened it and then burst out crying. Then there's just the most basic line of text inside.

I know I probably sound so ungrateful and there are much more important things but all I wanted was just a normal cute mummy card with a handwritten message inside for my first Mother's Day and I can't help but think he's ruined it and I'm so upset about it.

He knows the cards are important to me I don't ask for or expect anything else but a nice card I don't feel like it's a lot to ask!

OP... your husband probably thinks you and your baby look lovely in that photo. He isn't going to see your hair needing a brush or whatever other flaws you see in yourself.

Ask him not to use Moonpig for cards from now on. I can totally see why he did it, it's just not for you. You say that he usually picks nice cards for you and is thoughtful. He thought he was being thoughtful, getting a photo of you and the baby on a card.

Some women put a lot of sentiment and feelings into Mothers' Day, expectations are one thing and reality is sometimes something else. It's not wrong, it's just painful for those who do and are then disappointed.

The day's not over, try to enjoy the rest of it.

I'm starting to think that some men have set their bars really low with the number of snide posters telling women that they have theirs practically on the floor. Smug twats.

You absolutely CAN choose how you react. You’re choosing very badly at the moment. FFS.

he just told me he’s got a card but doesn’t have the head space to write it.

How much headspace do you need to find a pen and write “To the best mother in the world” on a card. I presume he doesn’t hold down a job requiring any kind of complicated thinking?

YABU, you seem to have lost your sense of perspective.

No only on MN is “Moonpig” a dirty word I think 🤣
..in real life, people aren’t appalled and insulted if you get them a card from Moonpig, just happy to have a celebratory card.

So if you don’t think you are UR, did you actually specifically tell him this before Mother’s Day? And he’s ignored it?

Maybe it’s just a learning curve? Make sure he knows that clearly that for future because it’s quite a specific expectation.

Hope you can enjoy the rest of the day.

YABU. Sounds thoughtful and personalized unlike a generic store brought card you wanted.
What personalized msg do you want himt to write? You're not his mother?

If you are sentimental about cards and hold onto them as keepsakes-( maybe you wanted to put your 1st Mother’s Day card in a baby book or something?) then it’s not too late for him to nip out to Tesco and grab a “cute” card is it? 😬

My DH and DS didn't even remember.....

So it’s also my first Mother’s Day and DH did EXACTLY the same with the picture on the card, but also a framed version. I will admit a moment of internal “oh ffs” when I realised which picture it was. That said, I know DH loves that picture of me and our baby, as gross as I look (it was 2 days post c-section and I legitimately hadn’t showered for going on 3 days. It’s awful). Anyway, I know that for him that (disgusting) photo symbolises one of the best moments of his life. I don’t think he’s ever loved me more than those first magical (unwashed) days as new parents together. So I just suck it up and think of that tacky, overused saying about a man not being able to handle you at your worst so not deserving you at your best. His love of this photo is the epitome of handling me at my worst 🤣
It’s done from a place of deeper, more real love than the glamorous, picture perfect love we always imagine. I’d say you’re very lucky and try to see this from his eyes.

Sorry but get a grip. You burst out crying? Really?

Great post, 89FTM.

OP, what if you asked your husband to handwrite you a note, to the mother of his child, so that you can put it in the card? It would reframe this for you.

Make sure he knows clearly for the future

I’m pretty sure he won’t be ordering any more photo cards online after The Opening it and Bursting Out Crying thing.
😂

This is the sort of thing I’d laugh about later with my sisters and friends.
One of my sons accidentally bought me a Mother's Day card for “a mum that was no longer here but always in my heart” and we just laughed about it.

Very ungrateful 😒

Considering you have a young baby, maybe the long nights and extra responsibility is impacting him too and he's gone for convenience? Saying that you've received a card, it is you and your baby so the thought it there. In a few years you'll probably look back and smile at the card, the early days are hardest and it's easy to be really hard on your personal appearance. Don't let today be spoilt because of it.

Tbh, sometimes on here it's like men can't win. The guy made an effort, albeit unappreciated, but who amongst us has not given a gift that hasn't quite hit the mark? He tried, and imo it was quite thoughtful. As the old saying goes, it's the thought that counts.

No you can't help the way you feel. But sometimes unreasonable feelings need to be logic-ed away

Your husband did a nice thing.

Convenience would have been a card from the local shop. He actually went out of his way to do a bit more.

Well your baby is 2wks old so he doesn’t have much choice for photos as I’d imagine we all look pretty shocking in the first photos. Cut him some slack, he probably thought it would be nicer and if he’s not used to using the site he probably didn’t realise you can incorporate photos into words like happy Mother’s Day. He’s probably lacking in sleep and feels crap too, he went to some effort and he probably feels totally crap about it now. Life is hard with a new baby. It really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things

Are you usually this precious?

I bet he chose that photo because he adores it and thought it would make you happy. Get a grip and apologise to him for being so ungrateful.

Tempted to ask: how old are you?

So true! I look back now and I was all puffed up. Still love the photos though, I was puffed up because I had just grown and birthed a baby. I wasn't bothered about the aesthetics.