Upset about Mothers Day card

[Strawberry06]

Before I start I probably am being unreasonable but I can't help the way I feel.

Today is my first ever Mother's Day and my husband usually gets me a nice card for other occasions and writes a personal message inside.

Anyway for some reason he decided to go down the moonpig route and he made me a personalised card using a photo of me and the baby. In said photo I look horrendous, I've had no sleep, no make up on, not even brushed hair and the card is the whole photo. I couldn't help but cringe when I opened it and then burst out crying. Then there's just the most basic line of text inside.

I know I probably sound so ungrateful and there are much more important things but all I wanted was just a normal cute mummy card with a handwritten message inside for my first Mother's Day and I can't help but think he's ruined it and I'm so upset about it.

He knows the cards are important to me I don't ask for or expect anything else but a nice card I don't feel like it's a lot to ask!

That made me laugh!

I looked great at first- I had my first baby in my early 20s and at that age you can get away with sleepless nights without it affecting your face.

As the years have gone on, I look gradually worse and worse in photos and try to avoid them now 😂

I'm reading this and thinking it's ridiculously nitpicking when he's gone to the effort of creating you a card I'm sure he thought you would like (sorry OP.) But then I saw you have a two week old so that's allowed. I had a total meltdown over something ridiculous when my second was 8 days old that I cringe about. So yes you're being unreasonable, but that's fine and it won't be a big deal next week. Promise.

She has literally had a baby 2 weeks ago. If not sleep deprived definitely going through a major life shift at the very least. Im not usually a part of the 'be kind' brigade but your being a bit harsh.

@HalfMyFault

i don’t so I don’t know anything at all

I absolutely second this!

Both you and your child will look at it and laugh in years to come, I promise you.

You are obviously very fragile at the moment, but when you are less tired in a few months time you will love it!

I think I’ve had one of those too! My eldest is 23 so there have been a lot of cards..

”You’re like a mum to me” 🤨 🤣

He didn’t notice the no makeup and the tired face as he thinks you are beautiful anyway, you might have thought you looked horrendous but maybe he didn’t

Just to put things into perspective my friend lost her daughter 3 years ago who she never got a chance to spend Mother’s Day with. I know it’s hard but try and remember you have a healthy baby to cuddle up to today.

im not saying your feelings aren’t valid, at the end of the day I think he just tried to do a nice thing but you’re newly post partum and it’s absolutely fine to feel hormonal. My son was in NICU after birth so all my early photos I look awful but I treasure them.

happy Mother’s Day x

YANVVVU and quite silly.
Treasure the card, it might be the last time he bothers and who could blame him?

@YourWinter

i could! 🙋‍♀️

OP six years ago I too posted about my upset about a moonpig card and I too had my arse handed to me for daring to be upset. Looking back I understand now that my (now ex) "DP" was a waste of space and the card was just the straw that broke the camels back for me. We're talking about a man who never helped me with the baby, certainly never got up with DS (unless I asked him to a few days in advance so he could prepare for getting up early), snapped any time DS cried and as he got older would stick him in his highchair all day in front of the TV whilst I was working so he didn't have to do anything with him. On my first mothers day, my ex stayed in bed until 2pm and only got up then because my mum had come round to take me out. To me, the card represented his lack of effort in everything he did for us - a two minute job of clicking on a website and pressing "order and pay".

Today I woke up to a card from funkypigeon from my current partner. A man who has taken on my six year old as his own and bends over backwards for us. A man who does every night waking and gets up early every morning with our 11 month old except for on the days I'm not working where I do it because I work shifts and he doesn't work at the mo. He too, has picked some god awful pictures of me but actually, I love the card. For starters I didn't realise I had so many pictures of me and my kids! Secondly, it's clearly taken him longer than two minutes to put it all together and put a lovely message inside it. Most of all though, he's a great dad and a great partner and even if I'd got nothing I wouldn't feel the way I did six years ago because he shows me how loved and appreciated I am every day.

I'm not saying your DH is like my ex at all but I do understand the upset and the feeling that no effort has gone into it. Your little one is still so young and I'm sure you're still full of hormones and I actually think YANBU for feeling like he's taken the easiest, lowest effort way of getting you something because I've been there, but I hope that as time passes he proves himself to be as good of a partner as my current DP is and that even if you get a moonpig card next year, you'll love it because you feel appreciated all year and don't actually need anything extra on mother's day!

2 weeks postpartum can be a very emotional and confusing time. I don’t understand how so many people on here call you unreasonable. Your hormones are crazy at this time, you have just given birth and are adjusting to a huge change in your life. My DH printed and framed a picture of us with our 1 week old baby. I look horrendous in it and felt quite sad about it initially. 3 months on, the picture is still on display and when I look at it I only really care how tiny my baby was. Give it some time.

OP you are tired and hormonal. It’s not worth being upset about.

happy first mother’s day

Came to read this as this This story just came up in my news feed! Gosh the papers are so quick.

Gosh…it wouldn’t cross my mind that my husband would send me a card for Mother’s Day. My children started when they went to school which was lovely.
Try to be pleased that he bothered,even if he got it slightly wrong.

The tears and tantrums on Mumsnet over things like Mother's Day, Valentine's, birthdays etc. never cease to amaze.

That sounds lovely and thoughtful of him to this, sorry you are being very 'high maintenance'

OP, the mirror has picked up this story. Ask mumsnet to take out of trending if you want to, I personally would.

I actually think that's more thoughtful then a normal card from the supermarket. It takes more time and effort to find the perfect picture.

wow you are being massively unreasonable

Omg I was going to say the same, I remember a "you're like a mum to me card" the first year I took them to choose their own. Apparently he liked the picture and was so pleased with himself and the eldest hasn't noticed it either 😂

Thant is heartbreaking.
A young girl in our church lost her first baby last year - he was born apparently healthy, but died within a day. The grief is indescribable.

I feel so much for your friend - it is a terrible thing to happen.

If he usually puts in thoughtful messages but didn’t for this one, then maybe it’s because the card is from a newborn and he felt there was no need to write anything more.

I think you're getting a hard time here OP. You have a 2 week old it's perfectly fine to be irrational and emotional. I don't blame you for wanting a more personalised card after all you're going through. Happy mothers day and congratulations x

It was more what was written inside (like what he normally does) on behalf of our son ... Compared to what he normally writes it was just a shock
But there is no "whatsoever he normally does" because he's never before been in the position of a man with a newborn and a wife expecting him to know she expects a fake message written from her son.

Whatever he's done for birthdays before is different, that's actually to you from him. He's probably bamboozled by the idea he was meant to write something on behalf of a non-verbal child. I know I woulvebe.