Upset about Mothers Day card

[Strawberry06]

Before I start I probably am being unreasonable but I can't help the way I feel.

Today is my first ever Mother's Day and my husband usually gets me a nice card for other occasions and writes a personal message inside.

Anyway for some reason he decided to go down the moonpig route and he made me a personalised card using a photo of me and the baby. In said photo I look horrendous, I've had no sleep, no make up on, not even brushed hair and the card is the whole photo. I couldn't help but cringe when I opened it and then burst out crying. Then there's just the most basic line of text inside.

I know I probably sound so ungrateful and there are much more important things but all I wanted was just a normal cute mummy card with a handwritten message inside for my first Mother's Day and I can't help but think he's ruined it and I'm so upset about it.

He knows the cards are important to me I don't ask for or expect anything else but a nice card I don't feel like it's a lot to ask!

That did actually make me laugh!

YabSU

It's your first mothers day and you are understandably feeling emotional, sentimental and a bit fragile.

If he usually puts a lot of effort into cards and didn't this time, I can totally see why it would be disappointing.

Do you think it's an emotional energy thing?
I am a big card writer and usually make it very long, detailed and heartfelt... But occasionally I don't have the energy as it's something that takes a fair amount of effort to think of original and new things to say.

A new baby is huge!
You are obviously under the most strain, but I wonder if this is also affecting him.

Either way, don't beat yourself up over your reaction.

I've done similar and now we have a little giggle over it 🫂

I think have a hug and enjoy the rest of your day.

💗

Please do it OP 😅 be mad for now if you need to, but when Father’s Day comes round it will give you great satisfaction

God, the bar is low for men. I am with you, @Strawberry06.

Thanks for the replies - some kinder than others!

I funny accept I am being totally irrational and yes maybe I should learn to manage my expectations.

I guess I probably am hormonal but it honestly did come as a shock to me! I totally get he's tried to do something nice and different but unfortunately it has backfired.

I didn't expect anything like flowers, chocolates etc and I do understand that these days are all about consumerism, everywhere whacks the price up and it's wrong! That's why all I wanted was a nice card (yes it could have been from Tesco) with a nice message in his handwriting I don't feel I am being unreasonable in that's all I expected.

OP i went from thinking you are a spoilt princess to feeling bad for you, you are 2 weeks post partum and entitled to be a bit unreasonable, your whole world has just flipped on it's head. Ask dh to mind baby for 2 hours, go for a little walk and have a nap. None of this matters. Honestly if this is the biggest problem you have two weeks in, count yourself very lucky.

Couldn't get worked up about it. You've got a 2 week old and everyone is adjusting. He's probably just as frazzled as you are so just got a card and chose a picture he loves of you and the baby. Honestly, there are people out there that have lost children or their own mums and are feeling it today. Single parents who have received nothing and it's just another day for them. I also doubt Dad's out there are kicking off over a shit card of father's day. Enjoy your new baby and forget it

He'll be seeing way beyond the new mum knackered look. He'll see pure love and joy in that photo. You will always look back on that time and remember the snuggles. 🥰

Honestly op, I thought I look horrendous on pics after my first baby. Fast forward to 2 dcs, years of sleep deprivation and stress, I looked absolutely fine then!! I promise you, in a few years you'll like it better, and look back and laugh at that giant exhausted photo of you, your dh got!

You'll never forget your first Mother's day. I always think the best memories, are the ones where everything goes wrong.

The picture shows the reality of mothering, not a false image of being perfectly groomed, with an empty bottle and a baby (I forget which celeb that was)?! That picture is a good mother who is looking after her baby. Be proud, you're doing an amazing job. It is a private family picture, and doesn't need to be shown to anyone, a one for the memory box, which will bring you a smile in the future.

Your dh tried, and obviously thought you look beautiful, that is all that matters. You have a good man there. Hold on to him.

That's why all I wanted was a nice card (yes it could have been from Tesco) with a nice message in his handwriting
But what message? One gushing from him about you as a mother when you aren't his mother? Or one pretending to be from your baby? Both are weird and awkward in my opinion. Maybe he thought so too and didn't know which option you expected.

I think what matters is the intent. It sounds like he puts effort in to these sorts of things usually, so although it’s missed the mark, it wasn’t through lack of trying.

The other thing that matters is that now he knows this isn’t something you’ve liked, that he takes note and does it different next time. I’m pretty sure after your reaction that he will. 😅

Try and reframe it as he got you your first Mother’s Day card with a picture of you mothering your lovely baby. You don’t have to show anyone if you don’t like how you look, but I bet you’ll look back on that photo in a few years and think differently about it.

I'm giving you a free pass for behaving like a princess as your baby is only two weeks old. I suspect you'll look back at this and laugh. Congratulations on your new baby.

Yep. You're being ungrateful and OTT.

Oh and congratulations, definately a pass with a 2 week old baby!! 💐

I mean you get a pass on unreasonableness because you have a tiny, tiny baby but yeah, you are being unreasonable. I can see that for you, right now, you're very fixed on the idea that the card you would have liked would have been 'nice' and this one was 'not nice' but those are such subjective things that I can't see how he could really have been expected to draw a distinction between them. Many people would think a personalised card of this kind is nicer than one grabbed from Tesco; this is not a topic of universal truths.

This.

Keep the card. In 20 years' time you'll look at it and see that you look amazing.

@Strawberry06 if your dc is 2weeks old, how many photos actually exist of you looking fully refreshed, hair styled beautifully and perfectly groomed? With the baby?

He probably loves that photo of his brand new family.

Gawd.

Christ some people's bar is low. Moonpig is little thought and even less effort, that's why it's popular.

Oh god really?

Bet he doesn’t see you that way in the picture. And neither will you further down the line. He does sound thoughtful but MD has become so full of high expectations unfortunately

Don’t know how everyone coped in the olden days when the only person you wrote a Mother’s Day card for was your actual mother.