Upset about Mothers Day card

[Strawberry06]

Before I start I probably am being unreasonable but I can't help the way I feel.

Today is my first ever Mother's Day and my husband usually gets me a nice card for other occasions and writes a personal message inside.

Anyway for some reason he decided to go down the moonpig route and he made me a personalised card using a photo of me and the baby. In said photo I look horrendous, I've had no sleep, no make up on, not even brushed hair and the card is the whole photo. I couldn't help but cringe when I opened it and then burst out crying. Then there's just the most basic line of text inside.

I know I probably sound so ungrateful and there are much more important things but all I wanted was just a normal cute mummy card with a handwritten message inside for my first Mother's Day and I can't help but think he's ruined it and I'm so upset about it.

He knows the cards are important to me I don't ask for or expect anything else but a nice card I don't feel like it's a lot to ask!

But if someone makes a card for you you don't get to throw it back in their face just because you didn't approve of the photo or it wasn't the 'right' card. As PP has said maybe OP 's DH didn't have many pre approved photos of OP and their newborn child to choose from but still wanted to use a photo of mother and baby together for the card because it's mother's day! Geez when did we become so obsessive over one day!

She's two weeks post partum. She is almost certainly sleep deprived and having a bit of a rough time .... I know a few women breeze through the early weeks but most don't - it's pretty normal to be tearful.

Sorry but YABVU, I mean, the vanity of you, jeez.

I burst into tears at the five day mark because my husband forgot to bring my clean nightie. (I was in for a week after a C-section, as happened back in the day). He felt absolutely shit. He'd done loads of thoughtful stuff, but he just left something behind at home.

But the thing is, I realised a few hours later that it was the hormones. And I apologised (for want of a better word) and explained, and of course he got it.

This is a bit different if course, but I think that if we're accepting that OP gets a pass for being upset, hopefully she'll accept that her DH felt bad for upsetting her with what he thought was a thoughtful card, and come round enough to explain and try to make him feel less awful.

Becoming a father is an emotional thing too. But men often try to hide that. I once heard my DH and BIL talking about those early days and weeks, and discovered things I'd never realised, and how traumatic both men had found some of it (emergency caesareans in both cases, so they'd been worried sick, but felt they had to be strong for us).

So yes, recognise that your hormones are all over the place @Strawberry06 , but also recognise that your DH loved what he saw in that photo, and wasn't to know that you didn't. And talk.

Aww OP. He won't look at that picture and think "Christ, she looks a mess". He'll be seeing the mother of his child, the woman he loves!! That'll be why he chose it.

Keep the card, in a few years you'll love it.

Somehow pasted the worong quote - as you were, folks.

Nothing to see here.

Kindly OP I suspect you'll look back on this in years, maybe months, when you've had more sleep and you're out of the throes of newborn land and think how silly this all was.

There really is no need to burst into tears because of a card, but then I remember crying because the shop didn't have the flavour ice cream I wanted when my baby was tiny so 🤷‍♀️

This explains a LOT of why you're feeling the way you are.

2 weeks in is still a massive head fuck and you get a pass from me . My fanny was still sore at this point and every time I looked in the mirror I was horrified, so would have been miffed at a card sized picture of myself as well 😂.

Wait for your kids to grow up and see if you even get that.

It was more what was written inside than the photo

Now you’ve feeling more rational, you could say Sorry Dave but could you write something inside? I wanted a nice message like you usually do..?

He’s likely feeling bad too.

He sounds like a thoughtful partner- he usually writes long heartfelt messages in cards, he got one for the hospital staff? He doesn’t sound like a thoughtless prick.

Like others have said, this card is “from” your son so he’s misread what you wanted. from him (probably).

yes you WONT so be grateful!!!!

I'm always amazed that men are given such kudos for behaving in a remotely civilised manner.

@rooftopbird

most of us are vain to some degree it’s hardly a crime

it’s actually a good thing because if there wasn’t some degree of vanity we’d all be walking around looking a state which we’re not

@Dadsbit

why shouldn’t she get a card from her kids??

So this.

@LuckySantangelo35

A non sequitur!

Hopefully she will but would she react the same way if she didn’t get a card or one with a similar photo.
women expect too much from husbands.

let’s be realistic!
Mother’s Day is about children appreciating their mum not fathers acting on their behalf.

I love art and fashion so it's not about feeling pretty and more about the vibe.

Makeup and fashion are art.

Just like Pamela Anderson at fashion week deciding not to wear makeup was art.

If this was Fathers' Day and the OP had sent her DH a card with a picture of him and the baby on and he'd told her he didn't like it, this would equally be a thread full of people saying how ungrateful he was to not appreciate her thoughtful gesture.

How is your husband the rest of the time - that's what really matters. My son is 13. He gave me a card today, which was taken from my stack of cards for all occasions. I didn't have a Mothers Day one in there, so he took a thank you card and added 'for being a great mum'. It wasn't even in an envelope. I was initially disappointed that he hadn't made the effort to at least buy me a card. Then I remembered the cake he bought me last week just because, the Saturday morning cup of tea that I get most weekends as that's the only day of the week that I get to lie in, giving me the chips when our food delivery only included one portion by accident and not telling me, hiding a bar of chocolate in my bed when he went away on a residential school trip. Its so easy to forget the other things just because its Mothers Day and I understand it is an important day, but people mess up, they (men and women) don't always get it right. I would be more concerned about the ones who never even try.

Mine said something like the best mum on the front but on the inside it might not be biological but your a mum in my eyes in the inside 😂😂😂😂

you’re a mum in my eyes 😂 ..easy mistake!

Im sure op will look back at hers and laugh.

Ive had loads of Mother’s Day cards but held on to one from 7 year old ds that said “If mums were flowers I’d pick you”

..inside he'd written-“ I wouldn’t pick you if you were a flower because you’d die”

It made me laugh anyway 😬