To be annoyed at lack of effort on Mother’s Day?

[Redrobin3]

Hi MN,
I’m a SAHM to a 2 year old. DH works hard and I completely appreciate what he does for us. However, I’m a little annoyed that he’s barely acknowledged Mother’s Day. Brought me in some flowers and chocolate last night but today he’s just been quiet and not even acknowledged the day. All I’ve had is half hearted “what do you want to do”
Hasn’t even told DD it’s Mother’s Day, couldn’t be bothered to write a card. I know “I’m not his mother” but I do everything - all childcare, housework, nursery stuff, cooking, organising days out/holidays. AIBU for expecting a little more effort?

I think you need to tell him what you want. We do cards, but not gifts, because that's what I want. It seems like the problem isn't so much that he's not doing enough, but that he isn't doing what you want him to do for it.

Side note: you mentioned nursery, so did your DC not make a card at nursery? They usually do.

He bought you flowers and chocolates. I'm not sure what it is you want.

You’ve had chocolates and flowers, allI get is one card from one adult son, the other doesn’t believe in sending cards. DH isn’t bothered, but is good all year round and I’ve had boiled eggs and 2 cups of tea already. I just grateful for what I’ve got. Missing my own DM and MIL as well.

Oh ffs
These posts about Mother’s Day are getting worse.

I try not to get stuck into men bashing posts but I do agree that I think he could have at least got the kids excited about mother's day and got them to write a card.

I agree @thisfilmisboring

Hi op a card would off been nice.
I haven't been given anything from my 2 little ones there dad my partner can't be bothered but it was his birthday last week I made a effort I'm taking my 2 little ones out to visit my grandson he's 2 tomorrow so in the end I will have a nice day

That's plenty of effort if I'm honest OP. Flowers and chocolate, asking what you want to do today. I reckon that's a whole lot more than most mothers will get today ( myself definitely included)

God what do.people want hes already made an effort 🙄

This

Here we go, this was posted in advance yesterday exactly for threads like this....

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5024037-mothers-day-should-be-banned

Flower’s chocolates and asking you what you would like to do today sounds more than reasonable to meet. As for not telling your LO they are 2 and hardly going to understand the concept. I am a mother to 2 teens, I will get a card when they get out of bed and they might make me a cuppa, aside from that it will be a normal day, currently out walking the dogs in the rain by myself, I will then go home, make sure their uniforms are ready for
to before cooking a roast. I really don’t see why you need to be celebrated for caring for the children you chose to have 🤷‍♀️

Hi. I wish there was a middle option. I voted YABU because it sounds like he has done his best (in a man kind of way) but I can understand your disappointment. I dont think you sound at all "spoiled" as one poster said - some of these comments are plain nasty and completely stupid! I would suggest just try to get over the disappointment and just tell him what you want to do. This could telling him you'd love him to involve your 2 year old - could they do that for a hour in the morning while you have a cup of tea and then all go out for lunch somewhere.

Have you told him, what you want to do, in reply to his question?

I can understand how your feeling, the flowers and chocolates were a lovely thought and that's enough, but i do appreciate you probably had higher expectations and feel let down by them and now you've come on here and getting bashed on here so that won't be helping 🙈

He could of had a little more enthusiasm about today, it's not about the gifts it's about the fact today is meant to be celebrating mums and all that we do but there will always be something to disappoint us cuz there always is. Lower your expectations, just bask in the joy of your daughter and make sure you do no house work today, it can wait until tomorrow and leave him be whatever, it's about you and your daughter put anything else aside and don't let it ruin your day. Also, I don't mean this patronizing or to make you feel worse, but remember the ones out there having their much much worse days than you, the ones who have lost their mums or their children or any other horrible circumstance, it balances things for today and just remember it's about being with your child above all else ❤️ I hope you can have a lovely day with a fresh mindset and- Happy Mothers Day from one sahm to another ❤️

Chocolate and flowers are thoughtful. He's asked what you'd like to do today.

Get a grip?

Jesus Christ

This is ridiculous! Is this even real?

The child is 2. Even on Mumsnet they’re not going to be able to write.

This is why I told my mother I won't be doing anything for her this mother's day.

Last year I bought her a card and she shouted at me for not getting her a present.

The year before, I bought her a card and a present and she shouted at me for not taking her out for dinner.

I got the full orchestra effect of "my neighbour Eileen's son took her out for dinner, he's so good to her, you didn't do that for me"

Yet whenever I offer to take her out for dinner she doesn't want to go

No matter what I do on mothers day , I get sulked at and shouted at and it leaves me feel bad for a week

So intold her I will not be abused at this time of year anymore, and I will not be doing anything for mothers day again

Yeah you got chocolates and flowers, you’re being a bit odd about it.

You have a two year old. Your husband has thoughtfully given you flowers and chocolates. You may have felt better about his thoughtfulness if he had kept them for today. I was in Tesco yesterday and there where literally just needs of dad's and dad's with older kids happily buying flowers and chocolates. They are pretty much the traditional gifts of mother's day. A card would have been nice but he has thought of you. When your child is a little older he will probably help child bring breakfast in bed which is so cute. But seriously, what more where you expecting? Mother's day has become so over hyped putting massive pressure on busy hard working people. Enjoy the day op. Take your little one out together to a park if the weather where you are is kind. You can tell DH next year (,not now) that you'd rather he kept the little gifts until the actual day but please don't spoil the time together being a bit disgruntled. Be glad he's gone out; n the madness of mother's day shopping and came back, like all he saw around him, with those chocolates and flowers. Happy Mother's Day to you ...and to all you hard working mums out there. 💐

Some women are never happy!

But you had flowers and chocolates...

Well he could have got the child to present the flowers and chocolates. Some men don’t think.

Agree with everyone else. He bought you something and asked you what you'd like to do today. He's making an effort.
He wants you to do what you want to do. Tell him. Go for brunch or lunch. Go for a walk. Lie in bed with your chocolates and Netflix. Tell him what you want.