To be annoyed at lack of effort on Mother’s Day?

[Redrobin3]

Hi MN,
I’m a SAHM to a 2 year old. DH works hard and I completely appreciate what he does for us. However, I’m a little annoyed that he’s barely acknowledged Mother’s Day. Brought me in some flowers and chocolate last night but today he’s just been quiet and not even acknowledged the day. All I’ve had is half hearted “what do you want to do”
Hasn’t even told DD it’s Mother’s Day, couldn’t be bothered to write a card. I know “I’m not his mother” but I do everything - all childcare, housework, nursery stuff, cooking, organising days out/holidays. AIBU for expecting a little more effort?

What happened last year?

FFS, he brought flowers and chocolates! The poor guy - he's literally made a big effort and still gets no thanks for it.

Erhm, flowers and chocolates sound pretty good to me. Pull yourself together and tell him a nice Sunday lunch, movie cuddled with daughter will be great.
You can tell him tomorrow a card next year from your daughter is really loved and appreciated.
But don't get in a sweat and spoil the day xx

He brought flowers and chocolates and asked what you want to do today.
A card would have been nice yes, tell him.

The sooner this day of over hyped, commercialised nonsense is over the better. Stop being so ungrateful.

Flowers and chocolates = thought and effort

Because her child is 2.

YABVU. He’s got you flowers and chocolate! You’re a SAHP - so of course you do lots at home. That’s your actual job. You sound very spoilt.

Flowers and chocolates sounds fine to me.

So he’s got flowers and chocolates and asked you what you want to do but it’s not to your standards? Then use your words and tell him what you expect as that sounds pretty fine to me, but you obviously have something else in mind!

YANBU. Tell him that you want more for Mother’s Day.

I’m guessing you do a lot for Father’s Day which he just accepts as his due?

Plenty of nutty Mother’s Day posts on here today

Honestly just milk it yourself - oh I can't do that it's Mother's Day, so what are you making me for my Mother's Day lunch. Oh thank you for my Mother's Day cup of tea.

It’s only 9am the day has barely started! There may be other plans for the day you’ve not been made aware of yet.

The only thing the poor man did wrong was give them to you yesterday, if he had waited until today you would have been happy , but he didn’t, I get that, he didn’t know where to put the flowers overnight, and you feel like Christmas Day when you opened the presents Christmas Eve, I get that.

but I don’t really see what else you wanted, from him, I assume your child is little ?

The only thing I think he has done wrong is not help your DC write a card, that would have been nice.
Flowers and chocolate are more than I got until the children were old enough to do things for themselves, and I did everything you described in the home on top of working.
Far from feeling hard done by, I refused to fall for the commercialism surrounding this overly hyped day. I'd rather have a little bit of appreciation often, than a single grand gesture once a year

This is ridiculous. Why be so ungrateful? I got a big hug from my DC, a homemade card, and they left this morning to go to a sports tournament, leaving me a few hours to myself. If you’re unhappy about your Mother’s Day, tell
him otherwise, don’t complain!

What the hell has happened to people that they expect a song and dance over everything? Just what do people expect these days?

When I was a child, mother's day was always a card, small gift, kids making breakfast, then a short trip to Nanny where we'd stay for a cup of tea and my dad would give her some flowers and a card, followed by a short trip Granny where we'd do the same, then home for a normal Sunday. No-one seemed unhappy with that, I'm perfect happy with the same now!

Everyone is so bloody demanding these days, no wonder they're never happy!

Why didnt you tell him what you want/expect?

You have a 2 year old so its your 2nd or 3rd Mothers day so ideally by now you should have give an indication of what you want instead of being silently unhappy about what he has done.

If you want more then communicate.

Because your gift was flowers he had to give them when he bought them i.e. yesterday. I get that means you dont feel acknowledged this morning but I would ask yourself would you still feel the same if he had woken up and given you the same gift today? As that would be enough for a lot of people so if your expectations are more than this then that's fine, but you need to say before next year.

I get the feeling you feel underappreciated in general though. As a SAHM I do think it's your role to do the biggest proportion of the things that you mention but if he isn't doing his fair share at weekends then he is unreasonable and that needs to be addressed as a separate issue. I also think it's fairly standard for him to give you a lie in (or similar) so if he didn't do that then I think he's unreasonable.

Sounds good to me

You've had gifts and he's asked what you want to do. Get a grip!

Do you have any concept of how hard today is for many women? For genuine reasons and not because they have a ridiculous notion of what the day should look like.

Maybe one idea would be to tell him what you want to do when he asks?

@Grumpynan it's literally in the first sentence of the OP.

How much more do you want to demand, OP? Flowers and chocolate not good enough? Why'd you list the chores you do?