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AIBU?

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Original poster

Mothers Day... to be furious ..

249 replies

skiimmed · 09/03/2024 13:52

That my eldest daughter keeps
Telling me how broke she is , despite part time work through uni and spending plenty on herself, and that she won't be getting me anything , not even a card for Mother's Day?
I have sacrificed so much for her to go to uni... in Ireland..I am
A single parent who works full time so my kids can be educated and have what they need and I feel hurt and angry .
AIBU

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 09/03/2024 13:56

No that's really really shit and selfish. I'd be really angry. You need to start saying no.

Mrsphilmiller · 09/03/2024 13:56

I understand what you’re saying, but I imagine as a mother you sacrificing for your child, is a selfless act?
Just be proud of your daughter in uni and holding down a part time job. That in my eyes should be thanks enough.

Minkyfalinkinky · 09/03/2024 13:57

Yeah she is taking the piss. My eldest is similar. Its funny as i raised her by myself and probably over compensated - in fact i know i did.

Tell her that actually you are very hurt about it. And im sure she wont mind that she gets fuck all for her birthday either

RockyRogue1001 · 09/03/2024 13:58

Mrsphilmiller · 09/03/2024 13:56

I understand what you’re saying, but I imagine as a mother you sacrificing for your child, is a selfless act?
Just be proud of your daughter in uni and holding down a part time job. That in my eyes should be thanks enough.

What a sanctimonious post.

As if it's not possible to be proud and want a home made card as well.

angelikacpickles · 09/03/2024 13:59

I think it's selfish - whatever about a gift, she could surely stretch the few euro to a card at least!

PuffinMcStuffin · 09/03/2024 13:59

You might need to work on your relationship with her if she feels like mothers day is such a small priority. And probably best not to hold your sacrifices over her head, you made those choices, not her.

CuteCillian · 09/03/2024 14:02

This does sound unkind. Why announce that you are getting nothing?
It isn't money that would stop her writing a note of love/thanks, or even gathering some nice spring foliage into a bunch and attaching a tea bag !

Maray1967 · 09/03/2024 14:03

It’s time to start closing your purse, OP. If my DS 23 took that attitude there would be consequences. I don’t expect much, but I do expect a card.

KTheGrey · 09/03/2024 14:03

That is ungrateful. Fine for her to whinge on about how poor she is - standard, all students do - but if she does not do mother's day once a year you don't have to do daughter's days on the other 364 (or 365 this year.) No cards or gifts for her. You have other children at home, after all. My BIL reduces gift amounts according to whether people bother with gratitude.

vincettenoir · 09/03/2024 14:04

I'm sorry OP. Maybe your dd is going through a self absorbed stage atm but hopefully she'll grow out of it soon enough.

TheFormidableMrsC · 09/03/2024 14:05

Mrsphilmiller · 09/03/2024 13:56

I understand what you’re saying, but I imagine as a mother you sacrificing for your child, is a selfless act?
Just be proud of your daughter in uni and holding down a part time job. That in my eyes should be thanks enough.

Are you joking? Can't be arsed to spend a quid on a card for her mother who has made so many sacrifices. Absolutely disgraceful.

Minkyfalinkinky · 09/03/2024 14:07

Mrsphilmiller · 09/03/2024 13:56

I understand what you’re saying, but I imagine as a mother you sacrificing for your child, is a selfless act?
Just be proud of your daughter in uni and holding down a part time job. That in my eyes should be thanks enough.

This is wishy washy martydom.

Mothers are always expected to put them selves at the back of the queue for acknowlegement and thanks. Today i have been out with my younger girls and ive picked out my mothersday gifts which will be wrapped and given to me in the morning, my middle one is cooking me breakfast and then we are going to my favourite place to eat for dinner tomorrow. Ive planned it all ( with a little help of my youngest) Eldest live abroad.

The reason is - i want my girls to expect being treated like this on Motherdsay when they are mothers. Because we put so much in to making every fucker elses day "special'.

People are not mind readers and sometimes being honest about what you would like saves upset and frustration. Tomorrow this board will be full of pissed off women who feel let down - the same every single year.

PuffinMcStuffin · 09/03/2024 14:08

What is your relationship like with your DD?

Purplecatshopaholic · 09/03/2024 14:08

No, you are defo NBU. She’s selfish and should be ashamed of herself!

Original poster
skiimmed · 09/03/2024 14:08

Thank you. I understand that by having children I am immediately sacrificing for them but my other children are so kind and n thoughtful not even in a mercenary way but just thoughtful and generous .
I intend tomorrow to calmly tell her that I'm hurt and angry and that while
My role is to provide, I have gone over and above at times, as she knows , but her selfishness and grabbiness feels shameful to me as her mother. She will then go back to uni for the week so it will give her some
Time to reflect I hope .
She will shout and fight back and play the victim but as I'm
Going out for the afternoon tomorrow I will not be entertaining it and won't have to spend any time with her sulking about being told some home truths .

OP posts:
ZekeZeke · 09/03/2024 14:09

Not on at all and you have every right to be pissed off.
She spends plenty on herself, the least she can so is buy a card and some flowers, Aldi/Lidl flowers are so cheap, or a bunch of daffodils from Dunnes

Is there any possibility that she is pretending? And will surprise you? Or is she just selfish in general?

Oblomov24 · 09/03/2024 14:09

So selfish, so unloving. It takes 2 minutes to take an A4 piece of paper, fold it and make a card. Cost nil.

Original poster
skiimmed · 09/03/2024 14:10

We get on really well but she is selfish and is completely
Out for herself.

OP posts:
ZekeZeke · 09/03/2024 14:11

Does she live at home and attend uni or is she in digs?
If she is at home I assume you cook, wash her clothes etc. I would stop doing this. Selfish madam.

ArtfulBrickEagle · 09/03/2024 14:11

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BCBird · 09/03/2024 14:12

I would be annoyed and disappointed too op

Terrribletwos · 09/03/2024 14:13

I am not into mother's day at all and wouldn't be wanting or expecting anything a nd i have done a lot for my kids but they wouldn't react in this way if I was expecting to acknowledge mother's day so I think it's quite odd.

I would be wondering where has this reaction come from?

Original poster
skiimmed · 09/03/2024 14:13

She lives in rented accommodation in the city and comes home
To work weekends.
She is relatively independent. Cooks , does her own laundry but I'm a taxi for her as we are rural.

OP posts:
ZekeZeke · 09/03/2024 14:13

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Mothers Day is very important in Ireland (in my circles).

TheFormidableMrsC · 09/03/2024 14:14

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What a horrible post.