Mothers Day... to be furious ..

[skiimmed]

That my eldest daughter keeps
Telling me how broke she is , despite part time work through uni and spending plenty on herself, and that she won't be getting me anything , not even a card for Mother's Day?
I have sacrificed so much for her to go to uni... in Ireland..I am
A single parent who works full time so my kids can be educated and have what they need and I feel hurt and angry .
AIBU

Sounds like you’re annoyed your children don’t do anything so you don’t want OP to have anything either.

My reaction is coming from a selfishness and entitlement but as a now 20 year old I expect acknowledgment on a day that has always been special in our home... just not special enough to her .

Why can’t she work in the city? Tell her you can’t ferry her around anymore.

Op, have you asked are why?

Because it suits her to be the one who always takes.

What does she do for your birthday and Christmas?

When you speak wirh her tell.her the taxi service is stopping and she can sort herself out.
My younger guy can be inconsiderate at times and I'm not short about telling him what side his bread is buttered on.

I get it OP - I'm not furious but I am a bit sad - 3 girls, 2 at uni - youngest got me some flowers last weekend (she's at her dads this weekend), eldest got me a card and a bottle of wine, middle one - even though she was here last weekend and I nursed her through a cold, nothing - no card no gift - radio silence - it makes me sad but she's always been a bit like that.

It's cards for me - I don't care about present but a card means a lot.

@skiimmed , our children can be selfish sometimes but it doesn’t mean they don’t love or appreciate us. You need to speak to her in a very non confrontational way and just tell her how you feel. Try and do something nice for yourself tomorrow, you deserve it. X

It sounds like you have the right response planned.
The poster who says it’s all ridiculous and she doesn’t want her kids to buy her a bday or Xmas card/gift either is setting her kids up to disappoint so many people in their lives.
It’s good to show people we love and appreciate them. It doesn’t take a special day but it’s a nice way to do it so why not then. You can avoid consumerism by making a card or a cake or picking flowers.

My teenage children make me a cuppa and breakfast in bed and come for a chat and a cuddle.

Well don’t ferry her around, don’t provide her food when she comes home. She could make a card.

Tesco are selling Mother’s Day cards for 59p.

She’s a selfish brat and I’d be telling her that her free taxi service has officially ended.

Haven't read the whole thread yet but is there a chance she's saying that to "put you off " and she really has got you a card and maybe a little something

'Oh toll the bells, toll the bells, the martyr is coming through....'

I'm so sorry you placed yourself so low in your childrens lives. Luckily most women are raising their kids to appreciate their mothers

Announcing it several times is suss. Are you sure this isn’t a ruse and she’s planning to surprise you?

Time for her to find a job in the city she lives in so that you're not feeding her and ferrying her about every weekend. Give a month's notice that you won't be providing weekend food or lifts anymore.

YANBU.

What is she like on birthdays and xmases to you and others?

I'd suggest to start treating her as an equal adult and stop providing over and above. No more running her around and accomodating.

I'd be so disappointed if my 19 year old behaved like this.

Whilst I don't think it's so ridiculous I do think the poster worded it quite harshly.
But I do think you don't need special days to remind you how to treat a parent.

I am just thankful my kids keep in touch and care about me and that's enough all year.

I wonder how well wunderkind would get on if her mother behaved as selfishly as she is doing?

With pathetic attitudes like this is it any wonder that so many young people think the world revolves around them and should bow down to their 'needs'? At some point our children need to develop a sense of responsibility and respect for others, this daughter sounds to be doing neither.

I don't think furious is the right reaction. I would be very hurt and disappointed.

I think when people feel hurt they confuse it with anger, which might be an easier emotion, but doesn't help with relationships in the long run.

Things - and daughters - can change. 💐

It’s worth waiting until tomorrow before getting upset, she may yet bring you breakfast in bed.

I've told my teens I'd love one of them to bring me a cup of tea in bed tomorrow morning, and the other to cook dinner so I don't have to ( I've already bought the food)
My daughter usually writes me a little note rather than get a card- I've kept them over the years and they mean so much to me!
None of which requires any cost.... I'd be hurt too 💐

I think that your plan is a good one, Op.

It's very selfish of her. She could stretch to a card and a bunch of daffodils. It's not like she wouldn't have time to save a a little bit. I'd be upset, too.

Tesco are selling Mother’s Day cards for 59p.

And there are plenty of daffodils growing wild, or wildish, I fully expect the Churchyard to be stripped tomorrow morning!