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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH should have come straight home today?

352 replies

rainbowsunsgold · 07/03/2024 16:18

DH was working away Tuesday and yesterday and today would have been home for half five but he’s gone to give his mum a Mother’s Day present. Normally it wouldn’t have been a problem but we have an ill and very clingy baby and I feel like he should have come straight back to help. AIBU? (She’s away Sunday.)

OP posts:
HelloMiss · 07/03/2024 16:26

Yabu

Original poster
rainbowsunsgold · 07/03/2024 16:31

Honestly? Consensus is strongly that I’m unreasonable but I’m surprised I must admit. Surely an ill baby takes precedence?

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 07/03/2024 16:32

Ill baby is with one of its parents already though, and his mum is away on Sunday. YABU

Itslegitimatesalvage · 07/03/2024 16:33

He didn’t do anything wrong.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 07/03/2024 16:33

What time will he be home? Would there be any other opportunity to give her the present?

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 07/03/2024 16:33

You’re there with the baby though?!?! YABU.

Itslegitimatesalvage · 07/03/2024 16:33

Unwell baby was with you, not languishing on it’s own or being left at nursery or something. You can handle it for an extra couple hours so he can see his mum.

Rickrolypoly · 07/03/2024 16:34

I'm sure you'll cope for the extra hour or so. He's just popped to his Mam to give her a gift. How sick is your baby? Unless they need medical attention or you genuinely cant cope then YABU.

TokyoSushi · 07/03/2024 16:34

One ill baby? No other DC? If she's not there on Sunday then it's fine, pass the baby over when he gets back.

Original poster
rainbowsunsgold · 07/03/2024 16:35

TeaKitten · 07/03/2024 16:32

Ill baby is with one of its parents already though, and his mum is away on Sunday. YABU

I know but that’s the thing. I’ve been on 24/7 for three days and I really am exhausted and needing a bit of a break. By the time he comes home the children. Will be in bed.

OP posts:
Original poster
rainbowsunsgold · 07/03/2024 16:35

TokyoSushi · 07/03/2024 16:34

One ill baby? No other DC? If she's not there on Sunday then it's fine, pass the baby over when he gets back.

We have two children but only one is unwell.

OP posts:
IvorTheEngineDriver · 07/03/2024 16:35

YABU. Coping with ill babies is part of the job description for being a parent.

EdgarsTale · 07/03/2024 16:36

Oh dear, he hasn’t done anything wrong, unless the baby needs an urgent trip to A&E? It’s understandable that he’s gone to see his mother. Do you not like her or something?

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 07/03/2024 16:37

Is he staying the night at his parents? How ill is baby?

Emeraldrings · 07/03/2024 16:38

I think he should have come home. You've been caring for a sick baby on your own since Tuesday so you'd think he would come home to give you a break and see how his child is. I'd be pissed off in your shoes.

TheHangryAzureBird · 07/03/2024 16:38

What time is he coming back?

SoRainbowRhythms · 07/03/2024 16:39

Did you tell him you needed him home? Or was his crystal ball broken?

DreadPirateRobots · 07/03/2024 16:39

Did you ask him to come straight home and give you a break?

I can see why he's prioritised as he did. Based on the information he has, you're coping and him being home isn't short term important. If you wanted him to come home, you should have said so. Don't set people secret tests and don't expect them to read your mind.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 07/03/2024 16:40

Do you mean you are in a hospital with an ill baby ? or you need him to drive you and the baby to hospital because of the illness ?

How far away does his Mum live ?

DontCallMeKidDontCallMeBaby · 07/03/2024 16:41

My husband frequently works away, so I understand how difficult it can be. But I think you’re being (maybe understandably) unreasonable. I totally get you hoping for a break/reinforcements, but I don’t think he’s down anything wrong.

Hankunamatata · 07/03/2024 16:41

I remember the days where I would crave dh homing home as been an awful day and needed to hand over the kids.
So yanbu to be annoyed but it is probably the last chance to give his mum her card

JustlikeEllie · 07/03/2024 16:42

Did you ask him to come home? Would there be any other opportunity for him to give his mum her present before Sunday?

Deathbyfluffy · 07/03/2024 16:42

Maybe his Mum isn't available before Mother's Day and today was the last chance to give her the present?

Also, unless you asked him to come home you're being unreasonable. Men don't have crystal balls.

Rocknrolla21 · 07/03/2024 16:42

Did you ask him to come straight home. Imo you’re being unreasonable as he’s just popped to his mums to give her a present. My opinions on this may be skewed though as my oh has always worked away, home between 1 week and sometimes only 2 days a month. I’ve had to get on with it through 3 babies, no family to help and a smallholding 🤷🏼‍♀️ I can imagine you’re pretty disappointed though if you were counting down the hours and now he’s going to be a little bit longer

Isthisexpected · 07/03/2024 16:42

If baby is new and you've asked him to come home then YANBU. If baby isn't accutely unwell (doesn't need hospital) then I can see why he wants to give his mother a gift if he won't see her otherwise. It's obviously a shame that you've done all the parenting for three days straight though!