To think DH should have come straight home today?

[rainbowsunsgold]

DH was working away Tuesday and yesterday and today would have been home for half five but he’s gone to give his mum a Mother’s Day present. Normally it wouldn’t have been a problem but we have an ill and very clingy baby and I feel like he should have come straight back to help. AIBU? (She’s away Sunday.)

It would have been kinder, yes

I'm a single parent so never have the support however I don't think you are being unreasonable. You've been on you own for 3 days! He hasn't seen his children and you mentioned they would be in bed by the time he gets home. His mum can wait, his children need to see him and you need a break! I would be really annoyed in this situation and would be making it very clear. Could he see his mum tomorrow or Monday instead?

I get why that hurt you op.

Bet youre knackered. And worried. And just needed to feel like part of a team. I get it.

But they are right, it's his only chance to show his mum his mother's day love, so circumstances are against you. Hopefully you'll have a mother's day where you get a bit spoiled. Sounds like you need it!

You've got this. Hope LO is on the mend soon.

YANBU. Mother's is about the wife rather than the mother when a man has children imo. He could have sent her the card and gift.

I'd be pissed off too OP! I'd expect him to at least come home and help with dinner/ bedtime first, he can go to his mum's after.

I’m a single parent and just think you’re being ridiculously and kind of pathetic. Pretty sure his mum deserves a wee card and a hug for Mother’s Day, and it’s your baby too so you can manage. You’ll get a break when he is home over the weekend? So enjoy it when it comes.

My husband would of come straight home. He isn't overly close to his mum. So will see her when it suits to give card and gift for mothering Sunday. He'd absolutely prioritise our sick child and giving me a break if I'd had a really tricky day. To be honest he does this everyday he understands how hard it is as home with young children and as long as he has met his targets at work he isn't spending a extra second there.

Is this a regular thing or just a one off clash with mothering Sunday?

It’s not. It’s about the woman who gave birth to you and brought you up.

God the responses on this thread are so typical 🙄 .

Of course YANBU OP!! Your DP has been away and you’re exhausted caring for a sick baby. He should have come straight home. He can give his mother her gift another time. She’s not a child, I’m sure she can wait!! Hope he gets back soon x

And he is a parent.

I'd be annoyed OP

Honestly it normally wouldn’t have been a problem. But I do feel a bit taken advantage of. I’ve had both children and one isn’t well so the other has been ignored a bit and then he just tells me he won’t be back until late because he’s dropping his mums Mother’s Day card and gift off.

That occurred to me when I read that post.

Rubbish. It's about a person's Mother regardless of their age or marital statu. It's as much his Mums Mothers Day as his wife's. You don't become less of a Mother because your child gets married

I don’t think he’s taking advantage, he’s been away with work, not on a holiday.

I'd be cross with my son if he left his wife dealing with a sick child and another child - I'd tell him to get back to his family to make himself useful.

He should prioritise his sick child and come home to give you a break. In my opinion, any decent mil would insist that their ill grandchild came first. It's just part of being a parent.

You'll get slated here though with people telling you it's no big deal and they had to cope with sick children while ill and they had no one. The mother usually gets the short stick and fathers can do what they like.

My husband is a stay at home dad. I have cancelled meet ups with friends due to my child being ill and wanting to stay with them as much as I can. I wouldn't dream of ditching my exhausted husband who'd been dealing with everything himself til now. It's part of being a parent to small child. They come first. End of.

I'd want him to come to help and give me a break. Not unreasonable, you aren't super woman. Some of the replies on here, never fails to amaze me.

@rainbowsunsgold how much further away / how much time is it taking to see his mother?

Looking after a poorly child can be difficult, especially with another child and your DH away. If he’s seen his mum today then hopefully that means he’s completely free on Sunday (and Saturday) to help and give you a break.

YANBU, my DH would've come home and I would've expected him to tbh. Presumably he can see his mum at some other point between now and Sunday if not on the day itself? Make sure you book in some real time off to recharge a bit.

He was working near them today so he’ll probably be home at 8.

Thanks for kinder replies. It’s been a tough few days.

I don't get that. Mother's Day is about celebrating mothers (which usually means the woman that gave birth to you). I presume the OP didn't give birth to her husband. Her children should give her a card, she should give her own mother a card and the DH gets his mother one. That's how it worked last time I checked.

I hope my DSs provide me with an kinder, more easy-going DIL than you.

YABU here OP. It's a couple of hours and his DM.

What a spiteful post. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem, as I’ve said. Do you not think the children would like to see their dad? They haven’t seen him since Monday.

I can understand completely that you’re feeling a bit frazzled after a tough few days but, gently, I do think yabu. I would say it makes sense for him to pop over to see his mum today as he won’t see her Sunday. He’ll be home soon enough. I wouldn’t count this as something worth arguing or falling out over. Hope your little one feels better soon!