To think DH should have come straight home today?

[rainbowsunsgold]

DH was working away Tuesday and yesterday and today would have been home for half five but he’s gone to give his mum a Mother’s Day present. Normally it wouldn’t have been a problem but we have an ill and very clingy baby and I feel like he should have come straight back to help. AIBU? (She’s away Sunday.)

Quite

I’m not complaining about being exhausted. I’m more perturbed by the fact that DH does what he wants when he wants. He wants to see his mum - he does. He wants to go away - he does. This is fairly typical. I , well, I don’t. And that’s apparently dramatic?

You are tired and therefore more irritable. You're being rude and abrasive on here where people are just trying to help and also answer your question

He was near his parents house, he needed to drop the gift off so he is

It doesn't sound like you said to him "Hey, I know MIL hasn't had her gift but is there any way you can just come home? DC has been ill for the past few days and I could use a hand"

And if DC is as clingy as you said and up in the night then make sure DH is doing the night shift so you can sleep

I’m ride and abrasive when people use words like dramatic yes. Because that is also rude.

The kids would have been fed if he came home for 5.30pm. he was working away, he's passing his mam's and bringing her a card and gift. The baby is most likely breastfed, if bottle fed then he can take over the evening feeds.

There's absolutely no needs for baths 🤷 she's tired, a bath doesn't need to take place, she doesn't need to tidy up, her DH can take over, why would she need to clean the house ? I'm sure she's eaten, when making food for kids, it's quite straightforward to shovel something into your mouth.

make sure DH is doing the night shift so you can sleep 🤣🤣🤣

I think if this is the only chance he had to go before Sunday then YABU. I can see why you wanted him home, but unless there’s a big dramatic back story I think being annoyed about him dropping off a mothers day card is unreasonable yes.

@Wendysfriend i am not sure why you’re acting like a bath is a big deal. The bath is the easy bit. What’s hard is the bedtime routine generally. But please note I will do it, I am doing it, but yes a bit of a hand would have been appreciated and moreover one child at least would have liked to have seen his dad 👍🏻

He's at work and visiting his mum, not out on a jolly.

If this was the other way around, I'm sure a woman would be told it was absolutely fine to see her mum and that her DH would be fine for another couple of hours.

After three days? I don’t know actually. I certainly wouldn’t have done this to DH.

I get it, there were days I was literally hanging by a thread waiting for my ex to come home, I was so exhausted and rung out. While it’s not unreasonable for him to drop the gift off, especially given he was working close by, it feels like an eternity when you just need a break.

Don’t do the house stuff from 7.30-10.30, let him do it. Get into a hot bath, or your cosy bed and rest. There’s nothing that won’t wait if it needs to and you need some rest and off duty time.

But you didn’t post about your DH being crap or marriage being dodgy, you posted that he’s been working away and forgot to post the card, to his mum who is away Sunday, and you can’t visit Saturday. He’s already near his parents so he’s gone there on the way home. Then have added later on that he’s shit once people have said YABU. People can only reply to what you tell them. But even so he’s near them and it makes sense to go tonight, so I still think YABU

I think if a woman chose to socialise with extended family rather than be home with her sick baby she'd be flamed to oblivion.

And a work trip and visiting my mum would absolutely be a jolly compared to being home with a clingy, cranky, sick baby.

He's been away with work

Gone to see his mum as won't /can't see her on Sunday

Caring for ill kids is tiring but he's not pissing it up in the pub

What is wrong with baby ?

The thing is @Jellycatspyjamas I have to, while I understand what you’re saying the children need clean clothes and so on.

@TeaKitten the point is, he decided to go to see his parents. He has that luxury, I don’t. It is as simple and as complicated as that.

That's personal choice, of course.

But I do think if a woman wanted to see her mum for Mothers Day she would be told it was absolutely fine, and that her DH was an equal parent and more than capable of looking after two children for couple of extra hours.

Mums aren't around forever

I don't think she would be at all.

Is this the first time ever that DH has had to work away ?
Will he ever have to work away again ?

Would it be the end of the world to let the eldest one stay up to see daddy if the children haven't seen him for 3 whole days ?
then DH could put the eldest in the bath / to bed etc. win win there

I know he’s been away with work. I said ‘he’s been away with work.’

I know he’s been visiting his mum. I said ‘he’s gone to give his mum a Mother’s Day card.’

The thing is @Jellycatspyjamas I have to, while I understand what you’re saying the children need clean clothes and so on.

He’s more than capable of sorting the washing, wiping down the kitchen etc. He may not want to, but such is life, you’ve been on for 3 days with sick kids.

He works away a lot. No it wouldn’t be the end of the world but it wouldn’t be great, apart from anything else I’d have him up and running around for another hour while I tried to settle the baby,

Why can’t you go see your parents? Is he not around tomorrow evening? Can he not take the pet to the vet on Saturday without you? What about Sunday?

its not ideal, but if you seem to have plenty of time to be on MN… can’t be that bad

Trust me he is not.

Yes I am standing up as the baby thrashes around is that OK?