Would you like to be an 'old fashioned' housewife?

[SloaneStreetVandal]

Or a househusband (though we're mainly women on here). And I suspect that most men would say no...

I was reading the ultra processed foods thread, and it struck me (as it often does) that working families are so pushed for time in this era that preparing breakfast, lunch and dinner from scratch is nigh on impossible (and that is the basic premise of what a UPF is; its something you couldnt prepare in your own kitchen). I'm not talking about removing that opportunity, nor harking back to bygone days when a woman's 'place' was in the home (though I think that, whilst women's rights have thankfully progressed massively in the work place, they've not progressed so much in the home/society at large; some bygone views/expectations of women persist. I think, for example, running the house and organising children are still largely female pursuits...). It strikes me that having the 'healthy' ideal lifestyle of cooking from scratch, exercising and spending quality time raising children is a pipe dream when both parents have no choice but to work full time.

I know its complex, and theres a bigger picture (interested to hear thoughts thereof too). I'm just curious (I'm not a researcher! Genuinely just interested) to hear honest takes (few women would be happy to publicly admit in RL that 'running the home', whilst their husband earned, would be their preferred choice to working). Do you think the opportunity for one parent to be at home full time should be a choice available to us all (as it once, generally, was)?

YABU - I want to work, its not just necessity.
YANBU - I'd prefer to be at home, running the show full time.

I’d rather work, although preferably part time. I don’t really enjoy cooking (DHs job) and lockdown taught me I don’t love being around a toddler 24/7!

Weren't most of them on antidepressants?

I was one and l loved it.. hubby did do the DIY/ decorating and and bins out etc. But l did the cooking/ cleaning/washing looking after DC.
We both went to supermarket together.
I couldn't have imagined being back at work and not being there for my kids.

God no! I saw that life growing up and I worked bloody hard academically so it would NEVER be my miserable life.

I would love it, sadly I have been working full time for 22 years now whilst bringing my children up.
I honestly feel like it has broken me and there is no end in sight ☹️

Ideally DH and I could afford to both work part time, and evenly share house work and childcare on our days off

😂
I think thats maybe an urban myth. Though I understand valium were considered very moreish!

For me, leaving my job was an antidepressant 😉

No thank you. Everyone's different but it's not the life for me.

I was a housewife and mother from January 1982 to around 1987. Not long. It was ok. It would have been fine if I'd had a better/nicer husband.

I am a sole earner with a stay at home husband and honestly really wish the roles were reversed.

Good god no, two generations of depressed housewives in my family who’d possibly have been happier if other paths were available / expected. Most people would like part time work I’m sure.

I was one for a while why my children were young and I loved it.

If I'm honest I think it's the ideal set up.. children mainly with their mother, healthy home cooked food, household running smoothly.

In reality I realise it's not really possible even if someone wanted it. Society expects and the economy demands both parents work now. At least I had the choice

Oh no..I would be so bored..I love cooking and housework but for that to be my entire identity while everyone else in the household was doing their own thing ...no thanks. Yes I agree with you though...cooking is very time-consuming and even grocery shopping takes time..surely the ideal is a situation where our working lives and communities could facilitate shopping and cooking time ? Shorter hours and more local quality reasonably priced shops...

I don't think I would mind it if I had a different house (well, different kitchen mainly). I'd love to bake and stuff but it's just stressful in a small kitchen with barely any workspace!

I could quite enjoy being a housewife/homesteading I think, not having to worry about bringing money in and stuff. As it is my OH does most of the house stuff and I'm the earner, due to disability.

I love the idea but in reality, I know I’d get bored. 3 days a week at work is my ideal.

Dear Lord, no! I've no children but, even if I didn't work, I certainly wouldn't be wasting my time cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, decorating etc etc. Life really is too short for all that stuff. So I'll do the bare minimum to survive, shared with the other half, and outsource the rest.

How far are you going back?
I think there is a bit of a myth surrounding women staying at home in past years
Many women worked during the 50s and 60s
My gran (who would have been about 100 now) was always doing things like sewing when the kids were young and cleaning wile they were at school

I dont think it has to be all or nothing , we cut our cloth so neither of us is working full time

I gave up full time work when the kids were teens when DH was at the height of his earning so we were grand. As they are, he cut back now we both work around 20 hrs a week

Scratch cooking and making do and mend has been my mantra most of my life. There was a stage where we were both full time, cash rich, time poor and yep ready meals and takeaways every night, wasnt the best time of our lives, we were always too knackered to enjoy anything so when I had a break down it made sense to get off the merry go round

So we wont ever be rich, the kids are never going to benefit from a huge inheritance and the world cruise will be a forever dream but we have time for the family, time for each other

So yep, meals are all scratched cooked, Id say the only UPF that show up in my shop are things like baked beans and ketchup. We dont do cereals, sliced bread is rare, and the closest we get to a ready meal is I sometimes pick up fresh pizza bases

We do tend to stick to traditional roles, DH does the gardens, the cars, the maintenance, I do the cooking, washing, ironing. We both tackle the decorating and he certainly helps with household chores. I did do more of the child care, but hes more hands on with the Grandchildren

We couldn't live the life we live if we hadn't chosen to get out of the rat race. Living to work wasnt a life we could maintain. We work to live now.

Because I was quite academic at school it was always assumed I should/would want to go into a career. If I had been really honest even back then what I really would have liked was to be a SAHM. I'm lucky because I enjoy the work I do and now the kids are older I'd probably have been bored and taken on voluntary work by now. But when they were small I'd have been happy at home if I could have afforded it.

I am on that other thread, cooking mostly from scratch. No, I absolutely do not want to be a housewife or SAHM.

Absolutely not! I was one. It made financial sense. My dc are at university now and I no longer cook proper meals. It’s soup, stir fry or salad (or eating out) from here on in. The mind numbing drudgery of cooking and preparing meals is over and I for one wouldn’t go back to it.

Being a housewife is an idea that gets romanticised. I imagine most of the women who say they’d love it are posting through a very modern feminist lens, whereby they’d expect to get all the benefits of working whilst not working: equal and free access to all the money earned by their husband, equal free time because he’d be expected to pitch in and do half the chores and childcare when not working, be able to plan how they spent all their time and if they didn’t fancy cooking from scratch one day just not do it. Which wasn’t the reality historically for housewives.

I found maternity leave very depressing both times, I think because I found the traditional housewife type role quite depressing. If you love doing those type of house jobs like cooking, cleaning, mending etc then you're going to love it I suppose.

As PP both part time would be bliss

This is the ideal I reckon! BUT I think most people can't afford to outsource... And tbf I like doing things myself, never feels done properly by someone else.