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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone else not make a song and dance about Mothers Day

247 replies

TheSparkofCreation · 06/03/2024 07:24

The drama this Hallmark Day (yes, I know its origins) creates on Mumsnet every year bemuses me and I don't know anyone in RL who demands such a fuss.

My mum is long dead but I'll remind DH to send his mum some flowers. DD will be working but will drop by the day before with some flowers. If she didn't I wouldn't mind cos I don't need a gesture to show she thinks I'm an awesome mum.

Anyone else not want a Mother's Day afternoon tea or a spa day? Won't be sulking if they don't get breakfast in bed or their husband wants to see his mum?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 06/03/2024 07:26

Me. I just see it as an obligation to buy your mum something, not what I think it should be, which is to spend some time with your mum.

GabriellaMontez · 06/03/2024 07:28

I love that we all take the opportunity to celebrate our mum.

It's not always easy to get everyone together but it's an ocassion we always make an effort for.

Why are you calling it hallmark day if you know its origins? You know it doesn't have to involve lots of expense?

MyBigFatGreekSalad · 06/03/2024 07:29

We make an effort but don't go OTT.

Both dp and myself buy our mums some flowers and a card and Dp will make me breakfast in bed or something.

I think some women set their standards extremely high for Mother's Day!

MixingPlaydough · 06/03/2024 07:30

No fuss here. It will be just another day in our house just like Father's day and Valentine's day. We don't need a specific day to remind us to appreciate those in our lives and I don't need a lie in I get one most weeks already.

Lilyhatesjaz · 06/03/2024 07:31

If it wasn't for mumsnet I would have forgotten it was next week.
I may get a couple of cards, if I don't I don't care. All the grandparents have died.

KnickerlessFlannel · 06/03/2024 07:31

I love it, but not because I demand a 'fuss' or anything like that. We have developed a tradition of all.of the family gathering for afternoon tea at our house, so all of the mums are together, and I love hosting it, and we just have a chilled afternoon all together with some nice food.

SgtJuneAckland · 06/03/2024 07:31

We're going out for lunch at our local pub, I'll probably get a present but I don't expect anything extravagant and ds likes to make a card, our mums will get a card and present and a call on the day. It doesn't have to be a drama

Taylormiffed · 06/03/2024 07:32

I don't live near my mum so I won't see her. She has banned me from spending money on her (she has lots, I don't).
My DS will get me a card and that's it. DD has MH issues and won't acknowledge me at all.

Original poster
TheSparkofCreation · 06/03/2024 07:32

Why are you calling it hallmark day if you know its origins?

Because that's what it's become. Commercialised. So it's not about "celebrating mums" (isn't that what their birthdays are for?), it's about spending money.

High expectations and lots of disappointment on MN.

OP posts:
SgtJuneAckland · 06/03/2024 07:33

@KnickerlessFlannel this sounds lovely

MagpiePi · 06/03/2024 07:34

Me.
Like you my mum died years ago and I don’t even have a partner to remind, not that I ever reminded the ex about his family obligations!
i have two adult children that I get on with and see regularly.

SillyCrab · 06/03/2024 07:36

GabriellaMontez · 06/03/2024 07:28

I love that we all take the opportunity to celebrate our mum.

It's not always easy to get everyone together but it's an ocassion we always make an effort for.

Why are you calling it hallmark day if you know its origins? You know it doesn't have to involve lots of expense?

I personally don't celebrate it.
I see absolutely no need for it. My mum and nana think/thought the same.
I always thanked the children for anything they made at school, but the expectation people put on it is just silly.

I quoted you regarding the origins / a hallmark holiday.

English Mothering Sunday was not anything to do with mothers and actually to do with visiting your mother church (the place you were baptised) and as this involved people going 'home' they also visited family and over time the two were conflated.

American mothers day has always been 'a hallmark holiday.'

It's fine to celebrate or not celebrate but it's not fine to pretend it is a religious observation.

BringMeSunshineAllDayLong · 06/03/2024 07:36

I don't want stuff but I do try and get us all to go for a walk in the countryside. It's hard getting the teens out nowadays and so we head to the hills and I love it. If they've made me a card that is nice too but don't need any money spent.

Hoglet70 · 06/03/2024 07:36

I really don't get the fuss and my Mum doesn't either. We'll drop a present and card in to both Mums at some point over the weekend but that's it. I expect DS will remember its Mothers Day about 9pm on the day haha. Now if someone ignored my birthday I'd throw a right tantrum!

AuntieMarys · 06/03/2024 07:37

I've never been a fan....but then I don't like traditions and feeling you have to conform because every one else is doing it.
I'm mid 60s and don't see my adult dcs that day or expect them to send a card. I prefer them to be nice to me all year round!!!!

SillyCrab · 06/03/2024 07:38

AuntieMarys · 06/03/2024 07:37

I've never been a fan....but then I don't like traditions and feeling you have to conform because every one else is doing it.
I'm mid 60s and don't see my adult dcs that day or expect them to send a card. I prefer them to be nice to me all year round!!!!

You sound just like my mum.
An attitude I've taken forward.

GreenRaven · 06/03/2024 07:40

I raised my children to ignore it totally, and most of my family and friends know I disapprove of the financial and environmental waste of cards, Christmas cards, birthday cards, anything like that. So nothing from the immediate family.

Some of my far away Godchildren will send cards. That is all

TheaBrandt · 06/03/2024 07:40

Away on a girls weekend so basically will be the best Mother’s Day ever.

Original poster
TheSparkofCreation · 06/03/2024 07:40

We have developed a tradition of all.ofthe family gathering for afternoon tea at our house, so all of the mums are together, and I love hosting it, and we just have a chilled afternoon all together with some nice food

That sounds perfectly lovely. Hope you enjoy your day.

OP posts:
Shodan · 06/03/2024 07:42

We don't do a lot here. I get a cup of tea in bed if the dc (28 and 16) are awake before me, although this year ds1 is away on an army thing and ds2 probably won't wake early enough. Ds2 and I might go for a Mcdonalds takeaway ( have had to pay out vast sums of money on vets fees recently so don't want to spend lots).

They do get me small presents and cards though, bless them.

Shodan · 06/03/2024 07:43

Oh I do like to get them out for a walk on Mothers Day. I love that.

MassageForLife · 06/03/2024 07:44

No fuss here. At all.

It's a load of commercialised and wasteful bunkum, and I'm not interested.

It's lovely to see people that aren't falling for it, and are celebrating it in their own way.

SillyCrab · 06/03/2024 07:45

Shodan · 06/03/2024 07:43

Oh I do like to get them out for a walk on Mothers Day. I love that.

Do you not do that regularly regardless of the day though?
A Sunday walk is a year round event with ours even now they are well into their teens and one heading into adulthood.

Echobelly · 06/03/2024 07:46

My mum never did it - I guess partially as she grew up in another country, and also as it's Christian in origin ('Mothering Sunday' as 4th Sunday of Lent) and we're Jewish she didn't think it appropriate, and I'm happy to carry that on.

NoNailsPls · 06/03/2024 07:46

I make a bit of effort with my mum and expect a bit made for me.

Literally just a recognition of the day though.

Card and a cuddle.

I'd be upset were it forgotten but I don't expect a big deal.

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