Anyone else not make a song and dance about Mothers Day

[TheSparkofCreation]

The drama this Hallmark Day (yes, I know its origins) creates on Mumsnet every year bemuses me and I don't know anyone in RL who demands such a fuss.

My mum is long dead but I'll remind DH to send his mum some flowers. DD will be working but will drop by the day before with some flowers. If she didn't I wouldn't mind cos I don't need a gesture to show she thinks I'm an awesome mum.

Anyone else not want a Mother's Day afternoon tea or a spa day? Won't be sulking if they don't get breakfast in bed or their husband wants to see his mum?

Me.My own DM and MIL died years ago.
My own DC usually phone to wish me a happy Mother's Day and I'm happy with that.
I see my DC most weeks throughout the year and we spend quality time together on short breaks and holidays.

I took this view with my mother. I never, ever turned up to visit her empty-handed (I always took a gift, a treat or something I knew she would like), took her on outings and holidays and my position was "I care about my mum every day of the year, not some mandated day."

I feel loved and appreciated every day.
I also get cards and flowers on mothers day
Both are possible.
My dds love getting presents for us and each other. They are kind and thoughtful. Every day. And they love marking special days too.
There is no day ' i dont give a shit about'.

The longer I spend on here, the more I realise that most of those making a "fuss" on here are those who are doing all the work at home, looking after small DC often while working and doing all the housework too, while their partner's life continues pretty much the same as it was pre kids. Or they look after grandchildren five days a week so their DC can work, but never get a thanks or a break or a nice weekend outing to be fun granny, it's all childcare.

If a mother who feels appreciated day to day doesn't get much regard on mother's day then she's likely to roll her eyes and move on or hardly notice. The mother who gets little appreciation day to day may well feel like no regard on mother's day is just another kick in the teeth. I've become more and more sympathetic to those posters as the years have gone on.

We're having both mums over, it will be nice.

I don't know anyone that makes a big deal out of it...?!

I hope people remember all the lone Mums who often get overlooked.
I work in a store and it's touching how many young children stand at the self service trying so intently to hide what they have picked for their Mum who is standing knowingly to one side.

But why criticise others who do, let others be happy?

I don’t care about Mother’s Day and won’t be celebrating it, I’m a lone parent so no husband or partner to show me any appreciation, kids are too young and no I will not be giving them money to buy me anything that’s just sad (sorry for anyone that does that) and I have no relationship with my own mother so no won’t be celebrating Mother’s Day

It's usually people whose family don't bother to get them anything and they're a bit bitter about it who say this sort of thing. Just because I get some flowers on my birthday doesn't mean that my family don't care about me when it's not my birthday 😂. Silly!

I don’t really bother with Mother’s Day. I haven’t reminded my (grown) kids and I won’t be bothered if they haven’t done anything. I don’t want or need ‘stuff’ or cards but I might mark it myself with a nice bar of chocolate. I always did give something to my own mother though.

Urgh, we don’t celebrate it. DD got a diploma when she could tie her own laces and we commemorate that day by going out together and buying a pair of shoes. Long live April 17th our ‘Treat Yo Self’ day.

I think it’s because on here they generally are. So some poor woman will post about no card / present on a significant day and then ten posts in will reveal he beats her up is emotionally abusive and is shagging her sister. It’s never about the thing that’s being posted about.

We also consider it a commercialised day and don’t celebrate it in our household (nor Fathers Day). People should be respected and their appreciation as mother/father/child shown as actions generally in the everyday setting instead of a once a year ra ra event. So, there will be no complaints here when it’s just another typical day.

Each to their own. It’s not a big deal in our family or DH’s but we’re a bunch of cynics.

I always suspect it matters more to those who don’t feel appreciated day to day.

My mothers day gift is a sky dive from my children.

We’ve got MIL coming for lunch and then my mum for dinner. The mums will both get a bunch of flowers.
Not sure whether or not this constitutes as a song and dance but it’s what we’re doing anyway!

YANBU. I’d be upset if it was forgotten, but a card and flowers from DS is more than enough.

PILs are visiting, so DH will cook lunch and we’ll hopefully enjoy a nice day; will go to church in the morning for a nice reminder of Mothering Sunday!

I’ll call my DM and have sent her flowers and a card in the post.

YABVU to refer to it as "Hallmark Day". Sure, some people go for the more commercialised option, but so is almost every other religious event in the Christian calendar. Many people only ask for acknowledgement via a hug, card, flowers and a cup of coffee in bed. It's hardly commercial.

I would also like to echo what @Doteycat wrote. It's very nice to have small celebrations throughout the year.

I agree. But I also find all the worlds best mum cards ridiculous. Not all mums are great and it feels a bit fake. Definitely a hallmark day like Valentine’s Day

We always have lunch somewhere nice on the Saturday before. Going out on Mother’s Day is like Valentines day - guaranteed to have jam packed restaurants, poor service, expensive set menus etc.

I do think its nice to do something to mark the occasion but no need to go overboard. Especially no need for gifts that just mean more accumulation of stuff to look after.

I wish dh would book MIL one of those.

If only I could tamper with the parachute.

I am the same - I make sure we do something for m’n’law but I have my birthday where family make me feel special - Mother’s Day feels commercial

I LOVE an afternoon tea but it would be £125 for the 5 of us to go somewhere and I cant justify spending that much on a sarnie and a scone! I can make that at home.

Could your children not redirect a card and gift to their GM instead? I don't understand not wanting to do something for your Mum that she'd like and doesn't cost much. Most of the older generation like cards.

We, by mutual agreement aren't celebrating it. When my Mum and Nan was alive we'd all meet up for food. As a child in the 70's in church on Mothering Sunday we were all give a small bunch of daffodils to take home to our Mum's.

I'm a single mum and NC with my own mum. Mothers Day always falls soon after my birthday (just a few days this year), so the DC are usually exhausted from the massive effort of doing something for that 😆. Plus this year they'll be with XP and I'll be recovering from my 50th birthday party the night before, so that's a whole basket full of nopes, really.