Anyone else not make a song and dance about Mothers Day

[TheSparkofCreation]

The drama this Hallmark Day (yes, I know its origins) creates on Mumsnet every year bemuses me and I don't know anyone in RL who demands such a fuss.

My mum is long dead but I'll remind DH to send his mum some flowers. DD will be working but will drop by the day before with some flowers. If she didn't I wouldn't mind cos I don't need a gesture to show she thinks I'm an awesome mum.

Anyone else not want a Mother's Day afternoon tea or a spa day? Won't be sulking if they don't get breakfast in bed or their husband wants to see his mum?

I guess maybe because I feel appreciated year round mother's day is no big deal, it might be different for others who feel they don't always get the recognition for their hard work.

I don't think that is true.
I most certainly feel appreciated all year round but it's still nice to have a little extra fuss occasionally. I do the same for DH on Father's Day.

I hate it. I lost my mum several years ago and it’s yet another reminder that she’s not here

Add in a fractured/complex relationship with my adult child, and I’d just rather not

Oh for gods sake just eff off. Why do you think you're in some way superior for not wanting to celebrate? That's a genuine question. What exactly is it that gives you the kick? Just so you can go around making a "song and dance" about NOT celebrating and how pious and frugal that makes you? Why start a whole thread on it. What an absolute sad case.

The drama this Hallmark Day (yes, I know its origins) creates on Mumsnet every year bemuses me and I don't know anyone in RL who demands such a fuss.

Neither do I but I do see pretty much everyone I know acknowledging it in some way. There isn't any drama though....just people enjoying time with their family.

I’m hoping for a lie in, a pair of fluffy socks and a homemade card. I’m taking DD out to a show in the PM and DH is taking DS to football. I’m not seeing my own mum because she’s at my sisters for the day but I do have a present for her

I always sent my Mum flowers, but she died in May and it feels a bit weird to be doing nothing for her this year.

"can't stand it*
" is a bit much 😂😂😂. What a bunch of miserable sods on here! Just accept some flowers and get on with your day. Why are people getting so angry about being appreciated for a day.

So sorry for your loss 💐

Never, ever celebrated it with my own mother (who refused to make us celebrate it), or made my own children recognise it.
I'm not baptised, and am an atheist so the reason is pointless for me; ( the origins of Mothering Sunday are religious/Christian, to do with going back to one's 'Mother Church', where you were baptised, nothing to do with mothers).
Frankly, it's the biggest relief not to pay in to the whole shebang, and my children feel that too.
I accept the meaning has changed, and some people feel a great pleasure in celebrating it, but so often it seems fraught with difficulties, anxiety and outright fallouts.

I always find it strange when it's used as a test for people's partners/husband when they have small children and, as a PP said, indicative of bigger issues in the relationship.

We are also no fuss though. I think DS has made a card at school and I have bought myself some new pyjamas. DH was looking for a stamp this morning so I presume is sending a card to his DM.

We have no children or surviving parents so just a normal peaceful Sunday for us.

Your last paragraph is spot on. I have arranged that I will go to do some exercise alone which I rarely get time for and DH will have both children. That is my treat! I spend the rest of my time with one or both children, I don't feel bad that one morning I'm not with them. They don't even understand the concept yet as too little.

I agree OP, in general. My own mum expects a bit of fuss which I oblige her with because it seems to please her, though I don't feel I don't appreciate her the rest of the year. My own view is that it's another excuse to buy tat people don't need and contributes to the ridiculous amount of throwaway stuff in the world. I'm happy with a homemade card and a nice meal, with the opportunity to do some of what I want to do for leisure. Maybe I'll feel differently after years and years of running around after my children and demand a day of pampering.

@morningsnig Truly sorry. I hope my post didn't come across as harsh when you are feeling raw.🌻

My mum died when I was a child, I just remember making a card at Brownies and that was it.

I’ve been a mother for 21 years now and I don’t care for Mother’s Day. When the children go to school, they make cards and are excited to give them and I play along.

But no, I don’t give a shit. I don’t like cards, flowers or clutter, I don’t go in for Christmas, birthdays or Valentine’s Day either (for me, obviously I play along for the kids, I do it so well that they think I love Christmas when I actually hate it to my core).

Dh mum would die on the spot if he didn’t treat her like a queen though, and he wouldn’t hear of not doing it. I just let him get on with it. his dad is the same about Father’s Day.

Some people just need that display of affection to affirm that they are loved. MIL and FIL are very controlling people, I think it stems from insecurities with them. I don’t need any of that, but I understand it, we are all different.

I do make a fuss of my mum on mother's day when she's had a hard year or loss, so for example the year she lost my grandad I bought her a card and some gifts just to boost her mood and show that I am there for her (I moved out of the family home 10 years ago). Also when I was very ill with blood cancer in my 20s and she spent a lot of her time caring for me, my children and my house, going back and forth to hospital to see me...I really spoilt her that year and I just wanted to show her that I appreciate everything she did for us. Most of the time though that's an exception..she appreciates a card and a phone call to catch up and wish her a happy mother's day.
My two DSs on the other hand and my DH, they can't be arsed with my mother's day and I don't get anything, but honestly I don't mind...I'm just grateful that I was able to have my kids!

I normally work it so get a handmade card & a hug from sleepy kids before I leave but this year Ive got the day off so have booked tickets to the local animal farm. Just me & the kids, I get in free AND I get a free plant!!!!!

For us it’s a card and a token gift. I usually buy my mum a nice bunch of flowers and take her out for lunch the week after. X

No. We don't really do adult birthdays/anniversaries/christmas either. My husband and I don't need a special day to show our love. Its all the little, day to day things that count.

We gather the Grandmas and go out for lunch - somewhere that has a normal menu and not a rip off set one though. Only one DC this year sadly as the other far far away.

I am not a fan of making a big lunch for the Grandmas etc as it just more work and drudgery for me so it’s nice to go out and not have to shop, cook & wash up.

The DC at home will get me a small gift and card and if I’m lucky the one far far away may send a card but I’m not holding my breath!

No. We don't really do adult birthdays/anniversaries/christmas either. My husband and I don't need a special day to show our love. Its all the little, day to day things that count.

It is possible to do both.

I really hate the suggestion that wanting to celebrate a particular date means your relationships are lacking in some way the rest of the year.

We don't acknowledge it at all here. I make a token effort with my mother, but only get something from DC if they've done it at school / nursery. This was a joint decision with DP. Once DS1 realises there's the potential for chocolate I expect I'll be given chocolate as a present and expected to share...

I should say that we go all out for birthdays, but pretty much everything else goes unacknowledged. DS1, the chocolate fiend, is putting forward a pretty full on campaign to start Easter traditions, by which he means lots of chocolate eggs. I'm holding out, DP - who shares the love of chocolate - is a weak link though.

I'm not that fussed about it to be completely honest, my kids will get me a gift (dad will buy it, they're only 10 and 4) and that'll be it really. I'm going to get my mum a nice little plant and my on and I are having chinese with them (10 year old is DSD so will be with her mum), and my partner is on a night shift. I don't need a big fuss :)

We love high days and holidays in our house! What's wrong with celebrating stuff and people?

I get a hand drawn card from each child (DH prods them to do this), plus some flowers from the garden and a cup of tea brought to me in bed. I then get to choose a dinner I like. That's it in our house 😂 if I am lucky there is also a bar of chocolate!

Same here- there are 3 mums that live in this house and none of us are bothered.

DW is estranged from her family (but not in a way that it upsets her to hear about Mother’s Day stuff).

my mum couldn’t give a bugger and neither could I. My mum knows I love her- we choose to live together so clearly we are close.

Our sons dad won’t do anything to mark it.

My son tells me he loves me and I’m a good mama every day (although DW is his favourite!).

We are kind of a birthday card a week late family I think!