Anyone else not make a song and dance about Mothers Day

[TheSparkofCreation]

The drama this Hallmark Day (yes, I know its origins) creates on Mumsnet every year bemuses me and I don't know anyone in RL who demands such a fuss.

My mum is long dead but I'll remind DH to send his mum some flowers. DD will be working but will drop by the day before with some flowers. If she didn't I wouldn't mind cos I don't need a gesture to show she thinks I'm an awesome mum.

Anyone else not want a Mother's Day afternoon tea or a spa day? Won't be sulking if they don't get breakfast in bed or their husband wants to see his mum?

I think you might have hit on something here. Mother’s Day does matter to me- not gifts or treats or meals out- but a card with something meaningful and personal written in it. This is perhaps because I have to an extent martyred myself to motherhood 🫤 My kids (teens) are lovely people and well-behaved. We get on but I don’t feel hugely appreciated by them (but then I was the same with my Mum at that age and didn’t realise until much later how much she did for us all).

I always think the opposite.
Those who are so so vocal about not giving a shit about it are usually the ones who wldnt get anything anyway and are treated like they dont matter the rest of the year and have to take the ' am i bovvered' stance to save face.

The thing I mostly want and look forward to is the handmade card from school and having a moment with my child when he wakes me up on mother's day and gives me chocolates. He's 7 so at an age when all of that is really lovely.
Not bothered about much beyond that but I'm glad the day exists.

All these special days are a nightmare for people without mums and dad's etc or mums and dad's who aren't in touch etc.
Just another day for people to be reminded.

I agree also show people love all year round not just on a special day, so that the shops can make money. X

We don't make a massive deal of it either and I eye roll over needy young women who expect a massive fuss in the years after having children to the detriment of their older mothers/MIL. All about ME ME ME ME ME.

Personally I have got my mum a card and a small present, will make a simnel cake, and will remember my beloved gran who passed away this year.

You sound nice. Hopefully you don't have any daughters' in law of your own because having such an unpleasant, sneering, unsympathetic, nasty MIL must be awful. Presumably you also don't have any children because if you did you would remember the intensity of the first few years and would understand a bit why some young women feel they want a break on Mother's Day.

When I was a child back in the Dark Ages, long before it became an American ‘Hallmark’ thing, we were given a small bunch of violets at Sunday School (where Dsis and I were sent to give DPs a bit of P&Q) to give to our mothers on M Day.

I remember being very disappointed when one year the violets were replaced
by a card, with just a picture of violets.

Loads of miserable sods of here! We celebrate Mother's and Father's Day to a certain extent. And birthdays to - including for grown ups.

It doesn't mean we are needy or our relationships are lacking.

Just do what suits you and let other people get on with what they do or don't do. No need to feel smug

It's actually a religious day.. when young girls in service would have the day off and go to their church.. " Mother church" with their mums.
They would celebrate and thank God/ Jesus for their Mothers giving them birth .

Mine have left home and I'm generally working but do get a sweet message and a bottle of plonk via their dad - l don't need a parade but l'd be a rather sad with nothing. My mum was always in the "Oh don't make a fuss about me" camp but we always did as she was a real martyr's martyr and would have stewed for ages if we hadn't! Everyone likes a bit of validation sometimes ...

It's our second with no mothers. I actually find it a bit depressing, it was different when the children were small. I asked them not to fight for the day, and DH helped them make breakfast for me. This year, adult DS will , hopefully, cook dinner for me. DD will be working and has said we'll do it my birthday weekend.

I'm hoping other DS will be helping their children spoil their mum

I agree. I think it may be the mum equivalent of "cool girls".

Does expecting a bunch of daffodils between the ones still at home and a phone call from the one away count as a Song And Dance, @TheSparkofCreation ?

@Doteycat
Those who are so so vocal about not giving a shit about it are usually the ones who wldnt get anything anyway and are treated like they dont matter the rest of the year and have to take the ' am i bovvered' stance to save face.

Not the case in my family but I don't know if that's the case for everyone.

I've sent my Mum some flowers (we don't live close). DH will probably make my favourite breakfast (eggs Benedict) as I don't have it often and DD has usually made a card at school. I usually get flowers or a similar token gift and then we just get on with the day which suits me fine. It's nice to feel appreciated but I'm not one for ott fuss so just looking forward to a nice day together.

Mothers day is for my mum not me. Adult dd does send me a present and card though.

I’m not fussed with it but if others are then I think kids and partners should make the effort.

I have other things which are important to me that I appreciate my kids and partner making the effort for, so if people feel like that about Mother’s Day, I can understand them feeling pissed if no effort is made.

I'm not overly fussed for mother's day , if my kids get me a card I'm happy 😊 if they don't that's fine

My child is adopted and consequently both Mother's Day and Father's Day are incredibly emotionally weighted.

So we're not doing it. My child already has quite enough to deal with, I don't need to add to it just for a hallmark holiday...

Me! Hate the day with a passion. Mainly because my own mother is a nightmare narcissist. I have no good memories of this ever and as an adult with my own DC, the lead up and the day itself still gives me anxiety (as does her birthday).
So DH knows to mark it for sake of DC but no song or dance or expense other than supermarket flowers.
It’s a hateful day where it forces too many people to face up to their own sadness if their mom isn’t awesome. If their mom is awesome, they don’t need a day.

So many martyrs on here!

We don’t really do mothers day, I won’t see 2 out of 3 of my children,

they do know i expect a card 😀

Any excuse for a day out, a get together and some food!

No presents or flowers needed, but fun times, absolutely!

Absolutely haha

my children love me very much and I always have a wonderful time with them when they are home

Competitive family walking, seen it all now!