To be happy DD is going away with ExH for 4 days? My family say I am

[ExSILsWedding]

Ex-SIL is getting married during the Easter Holidays, DD aged 9, is her maid of honour and only bridesmaid (she will be supported by Ex-MIL and ExH).

To allow Ex-SIL to get married near to her DPs parents house which is 3 hours from us, ExH and Ex-PILs are taking DD away for 4 days during the first week of the Easter Holidays (ExH and Ex-PIL live in the next town along to me and DD, Ex-SIL is also nearby but not sure exactly where).

I cannot wait. I never get 4 days to myself, I’ve got AL booked as I was expecting to have to look after DD but now don’t need to, so I can just chill, and drink wine – DD has a disability so I very rarely drink alcohol due to the need to be alert, Ex-MIL can cope with DDs disability though so I have no concerns.

My parents especially but also members of my extended family are saying I shouldn’t be so happy DD is going away, won’t I miss her? Telling me I’m wishing away her childhood and can’t wait for her to move out and that DD will pick up on my negativity.

I will miss her, but I am also excited for her. She loves her Aunt and sees her dad and grandparents regularly (EOWend for 2 nights plus half the holidays) so it’s not a huge worry that she’s going to be away from me. I want DD to enjoy her time away and to help her learn to cope with her conditions in a new environment, this is exactly what I want for her – to not be reliant on me for the rest of her life. They’re not leaving the UK, they’re not even leaving England, so if something does go wrong DD can have treatment with no issues as her dad has PR.

I love my DD with all my heart, but my job as her parent and carer is not to make her dependent on me but to show her how to live with her conditions that are never going away and also to let her have fun without me.

But the way my parents are going on you’d think I want rid of my DD for good. Keep telling me DD will hate me for letting her go and as her carer she should never be without me because I am her registered carer (DD gets DLA and I get carers allowance even though I work).

AIBU to be excited for DD and really looking forward to the rest?

It's four days. Your parents are being weird.

Of course you're not being unreasonable! You love your DD and as you say, you'll miss her, but at the same time it's very normal to want to make the most of a few days off from being solely responsible for her care round the clock. Plus you're happy for her - it's absolutely lovely that she's going to be her auntie's bridesmaid, which will be a really special experience for her. It's not like she's going away to spend four days in hospital! The whole time she's away, you'll know she's having a really exciting time, and she's going to be with her dad and grandma who love her and who you can trust to look after her, so you can relax and enjoy some freedom for a few days. It sounds like a win-win all round.

Christ OP! What a lovely treat for you, not surprised you're looking forward to it!

Let your family think what they want, until they've walked a mile in your shoes the have no concept of what you go through.

Enjoy your break from real life!!!!

YANBU at all. Sounds fabulous for everyone. Stop letting your parents use mum-guilt to make you feel bad.
Enjoy every moment! x