To be happy DD is going away with ExH for 4 days? My family say I am

[ExSILsWedding]

Ex-SIL is getting married during the Easter Holidays, DD aged 9, is her maid of honour and only bridesmaid (she will be supported by Ex-MIL and ExH).

To allow Ex-SIL to get married near to her DPs parents house which is 3 hours from us, ExH and Ex-PILs are taking DD away for 4 days during the first week of the Easter Holidays (ExH and Ex-PIL live in the next town along to me and DD, Ex-SIL is also nearby but not sure exactly where).

I cannot wait. I never get 4 days to myself, I’ve got AL booked as I was expecting to have to look after DD but now don’t need to, so I can just chill, and drink wine – DD has a disability so I very rarely drink alcohol due to the need to be alert, Ex-MIL can cope with DDs disability though so I have no concerns.

My parents especially but also members of my extended family are saying I shouldn’t be so happy DD is going away, won’t I miss her? Telling me I’m wishing away her childhood and can’t wait for her to move out and that DD will pick up on my negativity.

I will miss her, but I am also excited for her. She loves her Aunt and sees her dad and grandparents regularly (EOWend for 2 nights plus half the holidays) so it’s not a huge worry that she’s going to be away from me. I want DD to enjoy her time away and to help her learn to cope with her conditions in a new environment, this is exactly what I want for her – to not be reliant on me for the rest of her life. They’re not leaving the UK, they’re not even leaving England, so if something does go wrong DD can have treatment with no issues as her dad has PR.

I love my DD with all my heart, but my job as her parent and carer is not to make her dependent on me but to show her how to live with her conditions that are never going away and also to let her have fun without me.

But the way my parents are going on you’d think I want rid of my DD for good. Keep telling me DD will hate me for letting her go and as her carer she should never be without me because I am her registered carer (DD gets DLA and I get carers allowance even though I work).

AIBU to be excited for DD and really looking forward to the rest?

Absolutely not being unreasonable!
Enjoy!

No you are not. Have a fab time and do whatever makes you happy in that time. Enjoy!

Absolutely not!!
my DC go away with their grandparents one week every summer. It’s the best week- I can go to the gym, pub, cinema, any time I like, the kids don’t hear the word no to anything, and the grandparents are over joyed to spoil them, it’s a win win 😀

YANBU it is perfectly normal for parents, single or otherwise, to get excited about child free time. It's completely normal to feel that way.

Not unreasonable at all. This looks like a win all round. As you say, I'm sure you'll miss her but she's going to have a great time and you will have some time to yourself.

YANBU!!

I used to make exDH take the kids away when we were together. I even used to go on holiday on my own 👌🤣😍

Enjoy your break OP!

You sound like a wonderful mother and caredr!
Tell everyone to stop being so nasty, you deserve the occasional break and your daughter will absolutely love you for letting her be her aunts bridesmaid..
ask anyone who criticises whether they’d rather you say and cried all weekend!!

ofcourse YANBU, enjoy!

God,I can't wait to have some alone time as a lone parent,you are definitely not being unreasonable,my eldest was 11 and going to residential th first time we had 4 days apart.
The times my mum has both I'm estatic,doesn't mean I don't love them,they are the reason I keep going with bad mental health.
The sheer relief of not being on alert 24hrs a day is never to be underestimated,have a marvellous few days op.

YA SO NBU

Sounds like a well deserved break.

You sound like a fabulous mum. To happily let her have a good time with her dad and his family without being jealous and stressed is a good thing. Enjoy your time, and hopefully she will too.

Nope definitely not. My child has a numerous disabilities and he went on a Sen residential trip for 2.5 days and I loved it. I knew he was safe an happy. He could ring for a chat. But I had 2 days where I could have a drink, wake up when I was ready and enjoy just being me rather than being mum, carer, nurse, and translator for. Being a parent is a 24 hour job but as a parent carer you can never switch off. You’re constantly on edge. A simple trip to the supermarket can cause a massive meltdown. You can put as many things in place as possible and the day can still be ruined. People without a Sen child have very little idea of how truly exhausting it is even though we still get up an do it every day and love them with all our hearts. Those little breaks mean we can carry on caring for our children in a world that makes it so hard to do.

It sounds like you have a great attitude to your DD Op. You are putting her needs first here knowing what a great time/lovely memories with her Dad & family, plus thinking of a sustainable future managing her disabilities.
Its okay to enjoy the 'time off'/break from routine yourself.

Enjoy your time off and congratulations in maintaining a good relationship with your ex inlaws , family members .
How lovely to be a bridesmaid when you're 9

Your family are nuts. This is a win for everyone - you get a massive amount of me time, she gets to spend time with family and have an adventure. It'll be good for her independence too. Enjoy and ignore the joysuckers.

Your parents are being absolutely ridiculous. So they by chance not like your ex? I'm a single mum and I've never had 4 days away from my kids but I'd be so excited if I did. They are my world but some time for myself would be amazing now and then

You are not being unreasonable! Hope you both have a lovely time!!!

How rude of them. Their other parent is looking after them for a bit. If you were together you'd be getting that time in smaller chunks. You aren't so it's saved up that's all. They need to shut up

Your family are being very odd.

Ignore them this time and keep them on a strict information diet in future!

My kids are staying with their grandparents for a week over the Easter holidays - I can’t wait! I’m going to go yoga before work instead of cleaning up Weetabix and asking them 18 times to put their shoes on. I’m going to go to the cinema after work without paying a babysitter. I’m going to cook whatever I fancy for dinner and not have to argue with anyone about whether broccoli is disgusting. They’ll be having a lovely time being spoilt rotten (almost certainly not seeing broccoli all week), and we’ll all be delighted to see each other at the end of the week. Seems like a very bizarre perspective that you’re wishing her childhood away because you’re happy for her to spend 4 days away from you with safe adults who love her!

You're being a great parent. I hope she has a lovely time, but equally importantly so do you! I used to travel - I went to Miami, New York, spent time on my own at home for Xmas day. Make the most of your time!

Your family are twats, have a lovely break

Blimey… my kids went on holiday for a fortnight every summer with my parents… were always the best 2 weeks of my year 😆😂

YANBU!

Nope. Enjoy your 4 days!