My partner doesn’t want to meet my son

[MintWasp]

Looking for advice on starting new relationships with children involved.

I’m a divorced mum of a 5 year old boy, who I share custody of.

Fairly recently, 6 months ago, I started a relationship with someone who lives abroad. They are open to moving country and say they like children.

Since we started dating we’ve seen each other 5/6 times for long weekends and we talk every day. We also work together.

We’ve exchanged the love word and are both talking about trying to build our relationship. However my partner doesn’t want to meet my son yet, and says it’s too soon. I would like them to meet but would introduce my partner as mummy’s friend. Nothing serious.

We’ve both said we want to spend more time together and there is no barrier on my side, apart from that I have my son half of the time. My partner lives and works abroad away from home, and often spends weekends alone or travelling back to their home country when I’m not available. I’ve invited them to come and stay a few times when I’ve had my son with me and they’ve refused. I find this hard as I want to be together no matter what.

I feel like if this continues much longer I’ll have to end the relationship. I want to be with someone who accepts me as a mum and enjoys spending time with my son.

Am I being unreasonable in wanting this to change? Is it too soon? Or is this a red flag?

Thank you for listening 🙏🏼

Ideally if someone can wait longer before introducing new partner and child, I think they should

But sometime you have to meet the child early on, because of the dad's childcare arrangements.

6 months of a VERY part time relationship, where you've maybe spent only 14-20 days in each others company? Yeah, he's right. It's too soon.
And when you do see him, it's in "holiday mode", not practical "I've got to get home to put a wash on, and I need to get to Tesco for packed lunch stuff before it closes."

Either way, the partner is being very sensible and op is not. It doesn’t really matter if it’s a man or a woman, although I see op has clarified it is a woman.

What a sad and jaded way of viewing love.

Loving someone and being loved in return is definitely something to celebrate.

Follow your gut instinct mintwasp but be led by your brain. My earlier advice stands, no matter the sexes involved in the relationship.

I knew my husband was the one for me within 2 months of our long distance relationship but he had kids from a previous relationship and we played the long game as there was more than just the potential to mess each other up if we got it wrong, there were kids wellbeing involved too.

Have the discussion I said and no matter what the outcome, be grateful for her taking it slowly with your child as this is something you cannot screw up!

Whats the old saying, if somethings worth having, its worth waiting for! Make sure you are on the same page and set targets to be achieved before she meets your child.

Taking things slowly can be part of your "love dance" that builds strong bonds and understanding in readiness for becoming a family. If that is the direction it goes in, the coming together of the family will be challenging given the distance so you need to be patient

Again, good luck and I hope you get to play happy families when and if the time is right!