Husband went to friends house for dinner and didn't get back until 4am. Aibu to find this odd?

[JudyLemon]

DH has a friendship group of about 10, all male. Friends fiance loves to invite all of their friendship group over on a semi regular basis and cook for them. He has been twice before and came home around 11 each time.

Last night was one of these meals, she was making chimichangas apparently. He left for theirs at around 5 and got back at 4am this morning. He was a little drunk but seemed fine. We didn't really speak last night and obviously he's still asleep this morning. He doesn’t go out much and is great in all other ways so this really shouldn't bother me but I just feel really uncomfortable with how long he was there.

To be clear, I do not particularly like the fiance and this may be clouding my judgement. I find it quite desperate that she wants to invite a group of men over and cook for them. She's quite abit younger than me and DH and his friends so I guess I'm making a judgement on that too.

Aibu to be annoyed or should I try to not be grumpy with him when he wakes up?

Is she inviting her other female friends around to mingle with the group? Sounds like it

Nope I don’t think so. She’s said she prefers the company of men.

That’s her prerogative; but it seems a bit imbalanced for her to become a staple of these get-togethers without other wives or partners being given the opportunity to partake.

According to the OP, who seems to know a lot about the life of a woman she barely knows, the woman she views as a rival has no female friends.

Damn diagnosing a woman you barely know with a cluster b personality disorder says a lot more about you and @MustWeDoThis than it does about the fiancée. The internalized misogyny on this thread is off the charts.

Yeah, I'm not convinced by OP's version of events. Seems like you picked the most stereotypical 'pick me' behaviour and repeated it so that we all side with you. Bingo! We've got them all.

And like others have said, how do you know so much about this woman? Why do you care if she is, apparently, a histrionic attention seeker'? Why would you even give it a second thought - you would just roll your eyes and probably feel better about yourself if anything. So it doesn't add up.

And @Lexiconifer is right about misogyny. On any other thread, calling a woman the above would have you called out. But when a man is being seduced (apparently!) suddenly it's ok to spout this crap.

Thank you!! @JudyLemon calling a woman you don’t like histrionic (which is a very serious Cluster B Personality disorder diagnosis, btw) is wrong on so many levels. Also, aiming your ire at this woman who has nothing to do with your marriage screams textbook insecurity and internalized misogyny. If you truly trust your husband then keep up the conversations with him and leave it at that. Until this woman actually does something wrong or hurtful to you, you’re just being a petty gossip about her for no real reason. Your concern was about your husband staying out late. That’s where your focus should have started and ended. Grow up and lose the mean girl attitude.

She hasn't said she prefers the company of men. All we know is that she's fallen out with her group of friends a few times, and thinks her fiance's group of friends has less drama (objectively true given the fall-outs). We don't know why she's fallen out with her friends and OP hasn't reported her as ever saying she prefers the company of men, generally, to women, generally - she prefers her fiance's no-drama friends to her own dramatic group.

I don't think it's uncommon for younger people to find themselves in a toxic friendship group, it can take a while to find one's true tribe of real friends.

She might make friends if she reaches out and includes people. That’s how many of us develop friendship groups and that’s all anyone is suggesting she could do. I don’t think OP is suggesting more than that.

The word histrionic simply means dramatic. It is in no way a diagnosis of any personality disorder.

Sorta in the same way you can use the words narcissistic, antisocial and emotionally unstable without alluding to mental illness.

Maybe educate yourself before making bold statements such as this.

you are right not everyone does do drugs, some do.

its not sad to think some others may do so too

mmmm what a rude way to reply to someone being upset with you ( u cant be above reproach surely not-she was upset by a name you called her, just apologies for causing upset )
Histrionic is used in the description of a personality disorder listed in the DSM 5 HPD ( Histrionic personality disorder) is actually a personality disorder.

Oh? I thought it was odd and very rude the way she was responding to another person's comment. I'm very aware that the word is included in the name of a mental illness.

The word on itself is not in any way shape or form a diagnosis of a mental illness

… and actually she did say she prefers make company because she said they are “ not as much drama as her female friends.”

I

I that is the worry.

OP, are you sure that's where he was and didn't use as an excuse?

Indeed. God forbid a man has a nice time.

Oooooh 4am

wild!!

I really don’t see what the issue is

I had a colleague years ago who would host all her DH’s friends for evenings like this because she didn’t trust what he would get up to if they went on a lads night out. So it was less about the attention she was getting from his mates and more about keeping an eye on her own DH. I don’t know if the DH had form for cheating or if she was just insecure. Made me feel a bit sad for her either way.

I shall never see chimichanga the same way again

Clearly it is code for kinky group sex practices.

Did I say he'd done anything wrong?

Is this still going 😆

I want to know what she cooks next time

Well, it moved on for a while to another thread where a female friend of a dh was demonized for wearing baggy clothes while thin. Just the usual fear and misogyny.

So OP, any plans to get the guys round for nice baps this weekend?

Have you derailed chimichanga’s bangs yet?