Husband went to friends house for dinner and didn't get back until 4am. Aibu to find this odd?

[JudyLemon]

DH has a friendship group of about 10, all male. Friends fiance loves to invite all of their friendship group over on a semi regular basis and cook for them. He has been twice before and came home around 11 each time.

Last night was one of these meals, she was making chimichangas apparently. He left for theirs at around 5 and got back at 4am this morning. He was a little drunk but seemed fine. We didn't really speak last night and obviously he's still asleep this morning. He doesn’t go out much and is great in all other ways so this really shouldn't bother me but I just feel really uncomfortable with how long he was there.

To be clear, I do not particularly like the fiance and this may be clouding my judgement. I find it quite desperate that she wants to invite a group of men over and cook for them. She's quite abit younger than me and DH and his friends so I guess I'm making a judgement on that too.

Aibu to be annoyed or should I try to not be grumpy with him when he wakes up?

Because otherwise the thread isn’t so much fun

@hangingonfordearlife1 "i'd find it abit odd not to be invited with a woman there. but that's just our social circle. wouldn't happen"

So what does the one woman do if she lives in the house? Does your partner never have men only evenings?

If it were one or two guys I’d stay. But if it were a larger group of old mates I’d go out, go to my study or to bed .

I do quite like the idea of 'flaunting one's chimichangas' but also... what?😂

And when I opened this, I thought it would be about the hubby staying out late but I see we've moved on from that...

not at our house no, we live in a totally different culture and have teenage girls at home. any nights with his friends would either be in our garden or someone else's. (it's hot) or out in a bar somewhere. i certainly wouldn't be cooking for them. we tend to meet at restaurants as a couple group more often than not.

😂😂😂😂 100% she should use this

As usual, Urban Dictionary did not let me down....

Similar here, when DH friends come round they either go in the basement where the big TV is or outside in the hut/fire pit. I certainly wouldn't leave the house! But they cook for themselves - it's always steak and chips, pork pie and peas or BBQ meat anyways - creatures of habit!

Not sure why people are getting arsey on here - whether you think this is normal, okay or decidedly odd/would never happen from your own experience if fine surely?

To me, there is nothing unusual with the fiancée being in the house just her issuing the invites (if she did).

😲😳😱🙊

@Alchemistress 😂

Only thing would be that he didnt update me, if my dh is gonna be later than expected hed send a short text so i didnt worry, especially if it was hours after normal expected times.

If I thought dh had taken drugs anywhere he wouldn't get back in the house and I think it's sad people quite quickly jumped to it!
Not everyone takes drugs on a night out!

I’d hit the roof if my DH pulled this.

I'd be more concerned about my husband eating deep fried burritos which is basically what they are.
Texan food is deadly.

Yeah my dh has a group of school friends he meets up with every few months. Usually just the men but if it's a special occasion we do couples. The women get on fine but we're not friends in our own right we don't meet independently except maybe hen do or baby shower.

If one of the wives decide to start hosting the men it would be considered very strange.

That is how I've envisaged this. It's essentially her dh going to see his pal and saying "oh pals wife invited me to dinner with them. Your not invited "

I can see if she was their school friend too it might make sense but she's essentially latched her self on to her boyfriend's friendship circle. Or maybe he's encouraged it. I'd just assume they are either couple friends or not.

If everytime I saw my friends dh wanted to tag along it would be a problem and if everytime I met my friends dh came with, they would have a problem.

She is loving the attention. If she times it for when she has fallen out with her mates then she probably loves all the faux concern and men gobbling up her food. Wouldn't be surprised if she was trying it on with some of the men

Sorry if I am repeating what others have said already, but is your DH's friend's fiancé actually inviting a whole bunch of men over, or is your DH's friend inviting all of his friends over and she's being a really supporting fiancé and cooking for them?

Pulled what? Having a late night? That's all that happened.

The real question is: what happened between evening and 4am?
How did you know your husband got home at 4? Were you awake?
Did he text you?
Were you worried? Did he just go off the grid for 5-6 hours?
Did you have anything planned for the next day that may be leas enjoyable if he’s hung over, or was it kind of implied that he could be late?
I think all of these questions make a big difference, don’t you think?

A man had a nice time. And people can’t handle it.

He did, and its obviously the fault of the harlot younger woman!!

She invited them all in person when they were all helping her fiancé with something... so as a thank you for the favour? Or one of them said they should get together for a social soon and she said "just come to ours, I'll cook"

I can't think of a way this is anything to be upset about. She's relatively new on the scene, she may well be trying hard to get them liking her, but is that so terrible?

That’s a ridiculous amount of time to spend at another persons house. Sorry, but that’s just weird!

It’s a bugger when you can’t flaunt one's chimichangas without attracting criticism as to one’s flaunting motives.

Really? You've never done that? Been with a bunch of mates and stayed up late drinking and talking?
I really don't find it weird at all.

Did he just go off the grid for 5-6 hours?

Is he Jason Bourne?