To be absolutely stoned with my 6 yr old?

[hanginglikefawkes]

We live a really normal sensible life usually. But my son has autism. I spent years without sleep , emailing schools, tracking his development .usually tonight is my night off, I work in a very demanding industry and I’m perpetually drained but dad has him on a Saturday night. I usually attack a bottle of wine, a Camberwell carrot and then just relax. Tonight dad is ill and I’ve been handed back my son , and he’s absolutely happy and gorgeous, and we’ve spent the last hour mirroring on the guitar. We’ve then had some food and I’ve just put him to bed .ive never been in charge of my son when im under the influence though. I feel like we’re fine. He is fast asleep and cosy in his room , im still anxious though. Obviously I stopped drinking and smoking when he came home. It’s just a weird situation for me, these two things are so dichotomised.

Soooooo many martyrs on this thread!!

But they do know where I get it from, I specifically mentioned that. My friend I’ve known since uni who grows it on his boat from seeds he got from Holland. No farms or exploitation involved. So say what you like about the rest of it, that’s one element I’m not guilty of.

The barge is quite specific info OP.

Plus the leafy village with loads of vegan cafes!

Is it? There’s thousands of them around London and Surrey . They’re bloody fantastic homes and I want one. When DS is all grown up I plan to move onto one.

Do you have people you can call/number of a taxi firm if you need to go somewhere in an emergency? If so then I think you’re fine. He probably had a really fun evening with you!

You can grow cannabis outside in the UK. Artificially extending the season or speeding up the time to harvest isn't essential. We're the leading producers of medical cannabis for a reason.

I've got a heat pad and a full spectrum led lamp for raising garden plants/veg that cost less than £50. That could support a decent grow that if moved to a greenhouse in the summer would mature easily.

Yes of course. I don’t drive anyway so transport isn’t affected. We have a large hospital about 1/4 of a mile away but it’s up a steep hill so I’d just use a ride app I’ve got 3 or 4 installed because I refuse to walk to the tube in the rain for work.

It's a one off due to circumstances, it's fine. All the wine'oclock mummies out there willing their kids to bed so they can crack open a bottle every night are far more damaging then someone who smokes a joint on a Saturday night. Especially as he's not even normally with you!

People disagreeing with you because it’s cannabis, yet I’m sure they have a bottle of wine each night when in charge of their children and think that’s ok. I know of people who literally drink and drive with their children in the car yet turn their nose up at parents who smoke weed as if it’s beneath them. I think under the influence of anything to the extreme of not being able to care for your child is unacceptable. But you’re able to have a drink or a ‘smoke’ as long as you know how it affects you and that you’re fully capable of parenting.

Addicts are fantastically good at justifying their addictions ( whether that’s alcohol or cannabis)

so you’ve written 40-60% of your academic work on your once a week habit night ? @hanginglikefawkes

I’ve been smoking about this much, and this often for over 20 years and I'm extremely healthy and have written about 40-60% of my published works while slightly toked up.

That’s hilarious 🤣 it’s 4 joints a month. It’s not even a habit let alone an addiction. You sound like the American loons that call everyone who drinks occasionally an alcoholic.

You are DNBU - don't worry about it, you're not doing/haven't done anything wrong. It's crazy the amount of guilt/fear that people who smoke weed have to endure. Don't buy in to it or even think about it would be my advice.
Sounds like you had a lovely evening so well done. We all need that more than ever these days.

Yeah I write in the evenings when I don’t have my son. I’m working or parenting the rest of the time. Surely that’s obvious? So that’s my wild Saturday nights. I don’t get any other time off from him as there are no grandparents in the frame and none of my small circle of friends have kids or would want to babysit. I use up all my extra Dad time to go to work functions because we have to.

I didn't realise barges could be kitted out with a greenhouse. I suppose if it's a small one? But wouldn't that still need an extractor fan and filter for telltale smells? (as OPs friends boat presumably doesn't give the same privacy as a back garden)

I don't know why people are being so critical. You didn't know you were going to have your son with you so couldn't plan for that. It's no different from someone who got drunk over some wine and unexpectantly ended up looking after their child. And people do that while they have their children with them! It's not a big deal, no harm has come of it.

You’re hilarious thanks for the laugh. I’m sure my poor son is grateful for your concern when he’s enjoying all the attention and privilege that his parents bust their balls to provide. I’m sure he’ll be weeping into his cereal when he doesn’t have to take a loan out to attend uni and he has all the memories of travelling the world and endless access to extra curricular activities. Not to mention all the cool celebs he’s met through Dad’s work . Poor poor lad.

While there are acknowledged increased risks for psychosis, particularly among the young, it's not a simple cause/effect.

ajp.psychiatryonline.org/doi/10.1176/appi.ajp.2021.21111126

It's unlikely, given what we know, that cannabis is any more risky to mental health than many legal drugs, including a lot that are prescribed to treat mental health.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/mar/03/safety-fears-over-asthma-drug-after-young-children-suffer-severe-side-effects

I'm not saying there is no risk, and obviously every instance is incredibly tragic, but beyond making the dangers clear and providing a functioning mental healthcare system, I can't see how we can address it. Prohibition clearly doesn't work.

You don't need a greenhouse. As for the smell, if they're getting low odour varieties from Holland, you could probably mask it somewhat with companion plants.

I've never tried personally, I only grow veg, culinary herbs and flowers.

you say you are unable to manage the stresses of your working week without resorting to using alcohol and cannabis. Being unable to manage stress without resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms is a problem...you are trying to raise an autistic child .How do you impart healthy coping strategies to a child ,where ND often goes hand in hand with mental health challenges (and all the associated risks of drug use), if you aren't able to put those mechanisms in place for yourself?

That’s not true I never said that. It’s how I choose to relax and I really like it. It makes me enjoy food and music more . Also helps me focus on creative tasks like writing and art because it turns off some of the noise in my head. Having said that I stopped for nearly 3 years while pregnant and when DS was little and didn’t really miss it. I’m retiring in 5 years. I’ll not be busy anymore, I’ll just have a small business and no pressure. As for DS I expect it’ll be near impossible to hide it from him soon so it’ll be extremely rare that I have the opportunity to smoke. I’m fine with that. Fully intend to try and enjoy it occasionally on the weekends I can for a bit though. Ds is gifted in music and visual arts, I know I’m biased but he really is spectacularly good at these things. It’s possible that these healthy obsessions will carry him through the struggles of ND life. It’s also possible that he’ll need alot of guidance as a teenager because he’s socially naive and could easily be lead astray. His fathers got a beautifully kind heart and is very grounded and sensible within an industry that’s known for being addled with hard drugs and narcissists so there’s a good role model in him.