To be absolutely stoned with my 6 yr old?

[hanginglikefawkes]

We live a really normal sensible life usually. But my son has autism. I spent years without sleep , emailing schools, tracking his development .usually tonight is my night off, I work in a very demanding industry and I’m perpetually drained but dad has him on a Saturday night. I usually attack a bottle of wine, a Camberwell carrot and then just relax. Tonight dad is ill and I’ve been handed back my son , and he’s absolutely happy and gorgeous, and we’ve spent the last hour mirroring on the guitar. We’ve then had some food and I’ve just put him to bed .ive never been in charge of my son when im under the influence though. I feel like we’re fine. He is fast asleep and cosy in his room , im still anxious though. Obviously I stopped drinking and smoking when he came home. It’s just a weird situation for me, these two things are so dichotomised.

Well that's alright then eh. If it was a man you'd all be calling him a useless parent who shouldn't be anywhere near a child and encouraging the mother to report him to the police. The double standards around here are laughable.

Well, no, because if you read the OP properly, it was her night off, kid was with his dad, until dad felt ill and dropped kid back with OP AFTER she'd been imbibing. So what, you're saying she shouldn't ever drink or anything that will get her slightly impaired even on her night's off just in case the dad flakes?
My response would be exactly the same if the dad was in the exact same circumstances too.

How are you doing @hanginglikefawkes? Another autism mum here, if I wasn't teetotal due to hang over and my awful dancing, I'd be drinking wine in abundance regularly 😂 hope the head is fine and you had a lovely wee time x

My old neighbour was dying and during lockdown he struggled with getting carers so every evening (I put him in my bubble since he didn't leave the house) I'd go over, help him into pjs, getting into bed, make sure he had his drink etc and one night he asked me to sit with him whilst he had a joint. Anyway I'm a easily led teenager at heart, got stoned with him, went home and ate a loaf of toast and painted the kitchen green with paint in the shed that must have been from the 80s. Poor DP came down the next morning to me dancing to faithless and the most hideous freshly painted kitchen.
Besides that, nothing to awful happened.

The green really was vile though. That aside, we all got over it 😁

Did you even read the OP?

This is amazing! Lol

If I was dying I'd want you to hang out with me too.

@MariaVT65

what, when you have kids you should never get drunk ever again??

Camberwell carrot - thanks Google
ODFOD - thanks Google
RTFOP- 🤷

My brother ruined his life with cannabis. It irreparably damaged his mental health. It made him paranoid and gave him psychosis. If you’re susceptible in this way then cannabis IS more dangerous than alcohol. Alcohol would probably be banned too now if it hadn’t already been so prevalent and socially accepted.

Did you actually go to the effort of changing your username to respond?? Is that a thing??

Personally I think being drunk around children is as bad if not worse.

I'm just laughing at the pearl clutchers.

The main reason I wouldn’t do this in general is that the smell of cannabis is pervasive and clings to clothes, furniture, bags etc. Even if you only smoke it in the garden (I’d be really annoyed at my neighbour for doing that as I hate the smell, but I wouldn’t say anything to them) the smell will be on your clothes and soft furnishings. I used to teach and some children would come in on a Monday morning with the smell of it on their clothes and bags. I’d personally be worried about being judged by others so I wouldn’t; alcohol is socially acceptable in a way weed isn’t, so I’d stick to the wine.

Plus weed these days isn’t the weed of 20 years ago. It’s much stronger as a result of genetically modifying the plants.

Nothing bad happened this time, but please don’t think that gives you a pass to do it again when he’s is your care, you know when it’s your planned time with him.

Agreed, I also work in schools, yes we can smell it. And yes if I buy a bottle of wine from the supermarket, I know exactly what’s in it and what the percentage of alcohol is. Buying weed is totally unpredictable.

Did I say that? No i didn’t. I believe there is also a difference between having a couple of drinks and being ‘absolutely stoned’. I would also make sure that there is someone in the house who isn’t over a legal limit with anything to drive.

Hang out with me anyway! We can make your kitchen hideous any time you'd like hen! X

Read the OP.

It wasn't her planned time with him. An ill dad returned him to mum after she'd started her Saturday night.

I'm wondering how many times you give DS to his dad because you're ill @hanginglikefawkes

Or do you just crack on like most single parents with majority care do? I hope you're having a word with dad about not doing this again in the future unless Dad is poorly enough that he needs to go to the hospital.

FFS. Calm down.

Excellent froth fodder.. light the touchpaper and run.

Well played OP 👏👏👏

I think if it was reversed "I was ill so I brought my DC back to his dad's house because I couldn't be bothered to look after him. When I arrived the dad was drunk and stoned but I left the DC there anyway" would get flamed far more than the person having a drink and a smoke on a night they thought was to be child free.

poor you op, cannabis which i havent used for 30 years, often made me feel paranoid. so this situation would have exacerbated it
i h0pe you got through the night ok

I agree with that. Much like alcohol, I think weed users kid themselves about it. Someone close to me used to argue constantly that it had no effect and you couldn’t tell he used it - in reality the smell made you sick and his mood was erratic and sometimes awful. I’d have wanted him nowhere near a young child. He hasn’t used it for years and while the aggression and obviously the smell went away, his short term memory is really noticeably impacted.

When you are Ill I hope your ex takes your son and cares for him.

Not a single poster questioning that DCs dad, one, got a free pass cos he was ill (poor diddums - imagine having to parent whilst sick) and, two, decided to leave his disabled 6 year old with someone under the influence of drugs and alcohol. Though I guess that's not surprising as we all know that dads can do as they please whilst mums have to boil themselves alive in guilt.

OP, you've done nothing wrong. I've no doubt that you're a better parent stoned than many are sober. If your little boy noticed anything last night, he'll have noticed mum was more relaxed than usual and that you had a lovely evening together.

For what's it worth, the pain relief I take for my chronic medical condition leaves me more spaced out than a joint ever did and I've managed to parent my kids under the influence for years. I don't have a choice and last night, neither did you.

To the pearl clutchers - have a bloody word with your selves. Those sticks must be painful lodged so far up your asses.

Demand for him to find the magic clock hidden in the Mountains of Lore to turn back time and unsmoke before I got ill