Mother in law dining manners

[Blondeandbeautifullol]

This may sound unreasonable so I'd love feedback to see if others think we're crazy...
I can't stand the smell of ketchup, barbecue sauce and particularly brown sauce. I never have. Greasy spoons and fry ups make me physically wretch. I'm not anti them, just avoid them. It's the smell.

My Mother in law has taken in the last 2 years to adding either HP sauce or barbecue sauce to every meal she has. Except now it's not just a side condiments - it drowns her dinner.

We cook a roast or Christmas Dinner and it's drowned in sauce. We cook a roast and it's drowned in sauce. We go to restaurants and she brings her sauce. The smell has put me off my food and I can't eat my meal.

I hid the sauce- she brought her own. She offends posh restaurants by drowning their food - Italian, Indian etc in sauce.

I said the smell is off putting. My husband told her it's rude. She got angry and said "well I like it".

Anyway, it's Mother's Day approaching. I invited my Mother out for dinner. However, we haven't invited Mother in Law because of her dining habits. I just find the smell so offensive and also it is rude in my opinion to chefs, to have their food covered in sauce. Do you agree? AIBU?

Does she offend the posh restaurants or is it just because you don’t like it?

YABU. It's entirely up to her how she chooses to season her food! There's nothing wrong with what she's doing; I wouldn't enjoy it personally, but presumably she's not making anyone else drown their food in sauce. The smell - tough, I'm afraid. When you eat with other people there's always the possibility that you won't like what they're having. You can't expect others not to enjoy their food the way they like it because of your delicate sensibilities.

I think I’d inwardly cringe but would shrug it off but as you find the smell difficult it’s fair to then not make arrangements involving meals

She’s entitled to eat how she likes.

Wear a mask or put Vicks vapour rub at the tip of your nostrils.
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@sprigatito
There's also no obligation to go to a nice restaurant with people who won't appreciate it and spoil the experience for everybody.

I have recollection of these condiments ever really having strong smells?

No recollection*

I’d be quite embarrassed to go to a restaurant with her, but what can you do? Just put up with it.

What happened 2 years ago? She appears to be taking great delight in winding you up.

True, one can always refuse to socialise with someone because one can't accept that people have different tastes. Personally I would avoid eating with people who felt that someone's else's condiment preferences "spoilt the experience" for them. MIL might feel the same way.

I have a really keen sense of smell but surely if you sit as far away as possible from her you won't be overwhelmed by the smell of her HP.....
This is more about your embarrassment because you think it displays a lack of etiquette, and maybe it does, but she doesn't care and she's not your responsibility

Her meal her choice. It clearly doesn’t impact on her enjoyment. I’m pescatarian and am not fond of the smell of meat near me, however, I appreciate everyone is different and has different tastes.

Precisely this.

I think you are the rude one!
Most restaurants have sauces you can add to your dinner, being HP a regular one.
Nothing wrong with HP sauce.
And it does not stink.
You are being well over the top.

I'd judge her, but each to their own I suppose. I also don't think these sauces are known for their strong scent are they? She's not changing a dirty nappy on the table or microwaving tuna in the office microwave here- she's adding condiments to her own food. How can you, an adult, be so sensitive to the smells around you that you cannot cope and continue with your own meal and enjoyment? What if you are at a restaurant and someone near by orders hunters chicken or bbq ribs? Or a nearby diner (who isn't mil) has lashings of ketchup? Surely you don't leave? I find it somewhat bizarre that relatively benign smells and habits are putting an adult's appetite so far off.

None of these sauces particularly smell.

YABU policing what someone else eats, and then going on to punish them for it.

MIL's behaviour is rude and annoying... but come on, these condiments have very little smell!

Is it any worse than eating with someone wearing strong aftershave or perfume. Or even some washing powders. Truth is you are embarrassed by it.

She is entitled to put what she wants on her dinner.

But you are entitled to decide you don't want to sit in a restaurant (and presumably buy the meal) with someone who drowns the entire plate in sauce and creates a smell that puts you off your own food.

Enjoy your meal with your mum. If it becomes a problem, then suggest DH takes his mum out.

I can sympathise, as a family member loves fish and always orders something fishy, and I really find it hard to enjoy my food with the smell of theirs wafting over. I try to sit at the opposite end of the table if I can, or engineer a Chinese meal, as that seems to fewer fishy options.

YABVU, you don't get to control other peoples dining choices. I don't see how you can be this sensitive to typical dining scents, ketchup is literally everywhere, have you other sensory issues?

I suggest you seek some support because it isn't typical.

I mean obviously I agree with pp that she can do what she wants.
But no way would I be eating out in restaurants with her! 😆

I would say you were the rude one, but I would be utterly ashamed to think as you do. She’s your husbands mother and you are encouraging him to tell her how to behave so she doesn’t embarrass you???!!! Disgraceful.

I’d be really embarrassed to eat out with someone who puts ketchup or HP on all foods like a child. If you’re having steak and chips, burgers, hot dogs—have at it. But they have such strong flavours, it’s insulting to the chef.

I am with you on this my MIL has appalling eating habits like eating with mouth open and waving fork around like a flag

I'd be embarrassed by her bit but that's no reason not to invite her out. You just have to deal with the embarrassment.

Those sauces don't smell. The smell of a fry-up is from the oil and the meat, not a not of ketchup or HP.