Mother in law dining manners

[Blondeandbeautifullol]

This may sound unreasonable so I'd love feedback to see if others think we're crazy...
I can't stand the smell of ketchup, barbecue sauce and particularly brown sauce. I never have. Greasy spoons and fry ups make me physically wretch. I'm not anti them, just avoid them. It's the smell.

My Mother in law has taken in the last 2 years to adding either HP sauce or barbecue sauce to every meal she has. Except now it's not just a side condiments - it drowns her dinner.

We cook a roast or Christmas Dinner and it's drowned in sauce. We cook a roast and it's drowned in sauce. We go to restaurants and she brings her sauce. The smell has put me off my food and I can't eat my meal.

I hid the sauce- she brought her own. She offends posh restaurants by drowning their food - Italian, Indian etc in sauce.

I said the smell is off putting. My husband told her it's rude. She got angry and said "well I like it".

Anyway, it's Mother's Day approaching. I invited my Mother out for dinner. However, we haven't invited Mother in Law because of her dining habits. I just find the smell so offensive and also it is rude in my opinion to chefs, to have their food covered in sauce. Do you agree? AIBU?

I think her eating habits sound incredibly odd and embarrassing. However I think there is not much you can do about it. I would simply avoid going out to restaurants with someone like this if I was affected by the smell.

Or do not go to restaurants with her. That is what I would do.

So you're suggesting by putting Vicks on your nose you are affecting how the food you might order will taste? Also, how do you eat a meal with a mask on?

She could have a meal out without needing brown sauce/ketchup/bbq sauce. She doesn't want to, which is acceptable and her choice.
She therefore can't complain when people who don't want to eat around people who drown their food in such sauces don't invite her out for a meal.

@Blondeandbeautifullol - Do what you want for mother's day.

If you don't like the smell then fair enough to not eat with her going forward. Yes everyone is different but her difference doesn't trump your difference. You asked her nicely, you can decline to eat with her. My mil is allergic to Cucumber. I don't just say "were all different love" and carry on eating it near her.

You’re both being unreasonable: her for her habitual saucing, you for your oddly specific (MIL specific?) sauce intolerance.

Eat in. Get CBT for your reaction.

I thought I had a strong sense of smell. Definitely not strong enough to have an aversion to the smell of sauces that don’t really have a strong one unless you put them directly under your nose.

She can eat how she likes, however I don’t see why you would need to invite her to a meal on Mother’s Day when she is not your mum and you don’t want to eat with her anyway. Shouldn’t her son be taking her out?

You are unbelievably rude, cringing for you.

You hid sauce? You sound unhinged and very controlling. I can imagine the swift turnaround in responses if this were a DH hiding sauce and making comments about his wife’s choice of condiment. 🤔

That sounds horrendous, I hate the smell of brown sauce too.

I feel the same about Red Bull, I've had to get off a bus when someone opened one.

Life really is too short for this kind of nonsense. She is your husband's mother. Assuming there are no other issues, it's beyond petty to refrain from socialising with her just because you don't like her food choices. Presumably she and your husband are very important to each other and want to spend time with each other. Her choosing to put ketchup on her food is not a reason for you to leave her out. In the grand scheme of things, this is a total non issue.

@duckcalledbill

tgats because they don't!!

@Blondeandbeautifullol

oh beautiful one, poor you having to tolerate such common behaviour.

At least you know what to buy her for Mitgers Day.

im sure your DH can take her out for breakfast without you.

I absolutely can not stand the smell of ketchup. I don't have it in my house. Yabu to expect her not to put It on her food when you are out of the house but it's reasonable to say she can't in your house.

'She offends posh restaurants' does she? 😂

OP, the smell of mint sauce (which is much more pungent) turns my stomach, but I would never dream of telling anyone else they're 'not allowed' to eat it.

I just sit down the other end of the table because I don't get to control them.

Where do you eat out? I have only ever seen HP sauce in a greasy spoon. No high end or fine dining restaurant has that stuff.

They do smell, it's the vinegar.

I think MiL’s behaviour is very odd indeed. I wouldn’t take her anywhere decent if she behaves like that.

This is one of those threads that on a different day would have gone the other way. I guess a lot of ketchup-loving MiLs are online tonight.

Or maybe... lots of normal women who aren't so brittle and self-important that they feel entitled to police other people's dinner plates.

Is there a reason for her losing her sense of smell/ taste? My FIL was a heavy smoker and drowned his food in Lea & Perrins. It was a bit irritating if I was cooking but I understood the why. Even if I thought it was his own fault
I went through a phase of being unable to taste much after medical treatment, which probably meant I ruined several home cooked dinners for DH. But he understood my problem.

So is there a reason? Or does she just like to insult the cook?

Just brittle and rather aggressive instead, judging by the tone of many replies.

She offends posh restaurants by drowning their food - Italian, Indian etc in sauce.

Restaurants are there for customers, not customers for restaurants. The point is the diner enjoying the meal, not the approval of the staff.

However odd the idea of an Indian curry with the addition of such sauces sounds.

I’m with you, OP, I find it very hard to sit at a table where someone is eating HP sauce- it has a horribly penetrating smell that I find really nasty.

The suggestion that a chef isn’t bothered by someone drowning their food in HP sauce if laughable. Chefs spend ages perfecting dishes and are not okay with them being ruined in that way.

Different if in a cheap chain or burger joint, but really not in a proper restaurant.

OP, did she have Covid and not regain her sense of taste?

No wonder she got angry. I would be fucking raging if someone told me I couldn't eat my dinner the way I like it. Shove some vix up your nose and move on.

"My Mother in law has taken in the last 2 years to adding either HP sauce or barbecue sauce to every meal she has."

When did she find out that you "can't stand the smell of ketchup, barbecue sauce and particularly brown sauce"? By any chance, was it around two years ago?

If she's been doing this for the last 2 years maybe she could have lost her sense of taste or smell with covid .

How does it spoil the experience to everyone? Look away🙄