Said my lovely, supportive husband today.
When I approached him about the fact that I feel like he makes me feel like I don't do enough housework / good enough housework.
I said in his tone, when he complains about the state of the house- I sense that he feels I'm the one who's falling short.
He didn't agree or disagree but told me I was once again nagging. I wasn't. I was just saying that I find it hard to keep up with everything.
I've barely slept an entire night for probably 3 - 4 weeks. My children have been unwell on and off for that time.
I've not been able to send them to nursery much either. This week, they were at home with me for 3 days whilst I tried to juggle work. Last week they were at home for 4 days. And on it goes.
My work is suffering hugely. I can't meet deadlines and I'm constantly under pressure.
Thankfully I work from home, but I'm not able to keep up.
I go to bed at 8 pm every night, as it's all so exhausting.
My H works in a demanding high pressure role and has no time off, no working from home time either. He leaves at 5:30 and comes back at 8:30 every day. He can't do much more to help around the house, because he's just not here.
However, I expect him to understand and not continuously complain about laundry not being done or not being able to find his clothes etc. or the general mess that children bring.
I loathe the weekends as we always end up having discussions and it's really getting me down. Unless I'm constantly clearing up and basically just shut up about it, he's not happy.
He's really upset me today by saying what he said. He always upsets me and then he says it's not a big deal and he didn't mean it. I feel like I spend a lot of time thinking of ways to make his life easier, but it doesn't work the other way. I think he thinks I'm just a bit rubbish.
Our kids are under 5. They go to nursery full time and I work full time from home. My job is pretty intense. It's all a lot. I'm a shell of former self.