To lock my three year old in a room

[Dontknowwhattodoreally]

My 3 year old is being very difficult and keeps trying to hurt baby sibling. I keep moving him away but he just keeps moving back and laughing his head off. I keep picking the baby up but he wants to play and tbh it’s not fair on him … no idea how to manage

I have already said I won’t be and if I had it would’ve been for two minutes. I still am a bit suspicious here

Here's the other post I was confusing you with. No need to be suspicious I promise.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting/5018413-my-child-is-a-bully

I said I mostly ignored him with a little bit of sarcasm I’m afraid. He has plenty of time, fun and love. It’s a phase.

Oh my goodness what on earth are you doing bringing in posts from elsewhere?

Please don’t ever lock your child in a room, that’s abusive. If you are struggling to cope, reach out for help, ask your health visitor. But you cannot resort to abuse.

I give up. I wish you well OP. I hope things get easier for you soon.

Repeat as often as needed. Tell older sibling he must not harm the baby and it is wrong to do so and you are disappointed in his behaviour. and remove him to the other side of the room every single time. Set some special time aside when baby sleeps to spend one on one time with him doing something he specially enjoys. Remind him his job as big brother is to protect the baby and maybe offer him a small reward if he can be kind. Praise and involve him as much as possible. It is a massive change and he only sees an interloper who seems to have become the main focus when before he was it!

Do you have one room opening into another? If so then Playpen in one room by the door, and tall door gate on the door so that there are two barriers between them. You can see them both and pop between when you are busy, and then leave gate open and play with 3 yr old near the playpen when you can focus on them and keep baby safe.

Yes, please do!

Nope, your comment was disgusting. At least the OP is aware she needs help and is asking for advice. You on the other hand seem to be completely oblivious to how nasty you are. Completely uncalled for.

@Dontknowwhattodoreally I think you just have to keep reminding him that it's fine to play with the baby but he mustn't hurt him. He may not really understand fully that he is.
Ignore the horrible posts on here.
Edit: not really reminding but telling. Clearly every time.

I don’t think dragging in posts from elsewhere is helpful to anybody - sorry.

Oh lay off. It is obvious if you are aware you are crap at some aspect of motherhood, then you are going to ask for help. I’ve been a crap mum at some things, most of us have at one time or another. Calling a spade a spade when the person has admitted they are being a spade isn’t disgusting.

Thank you. Definitely going through a trying phase!

You have 2 babies not just 1 and your first baby is struggling. Could be jealously could be something else. Is dad around ? Can he have the baby while you spend 1 on 1 with your toddler. If you are constantly with your baby I can understand why the first one gets jealous and wants to use the baby as a climbing frame it’s so he can get to you

This, and show him what he CAN do with baby. A 3yr old isnt going to know what play nice or be kind looks like without you showing him.

You know you can’t lock a 3 year old in a room.

Have you tried spending time alone with him when the baby is asleep, safely in a cot or otherwise? You have 2 children that need your time and attention.

Do you involve him in ‘helping’ with the baby? Passing you a wipe or nappy during changing? Singing him a lullaby? Anything that makes him feel a part of it?

Do you have play time or story time with them both?

What consequences are there for him hurting the baby?

I used a travel cot for baby whenever I needed to ensure he was safely out of brother’s way. I think you can teach a 3 year old that they are not allowed to touch the travel cot.

He probably is a bit jealous but honestly he does get a lot of attention. And his friends who are almost all only children are being similarly challenging. Probably just a phase. But I’m struggling a bit too with tiredness and a period (first since having the baby) so not always got the best sense of perspective. And apparently am a nasty piece of work!

I recognised the situation was becoming a bit fraught and difficult to manage and was considering how best TO manage it. Putting him in a room no but I do think I had to do something, as in ‘do’ not say as really wasn’t listening to me at all.

Get one of those big space hoppers with a face on. 3 year olds find them very satisfying to squash. When he gets out of hand climbing on the baby give him that to squash up instead.
I have a very physical but very well meaning 3 year old, sometimes I put couch cushions on the floor for him to beat the crap out of, it really releases a lot of tension & calms him down. They're big cushions, so it's a full body workout.

I think your 3 year old senses that you want him to go away and do his own thing so you can be alone with the baby, feels massively hurt and rejected and acts accordingly using his 3 year old logic.

He's not giving you a hard time, he's having a hard time and needs your love and reassurance.

Thanks @Offthepath . Do you by any chance have a link? I know what you mean but not sure what they are called!

Anyone who describes a 3 year old as 'a nasty piece of work' has no place giving parenting advice. You're lucky to have a complacent child, that's it. Your child is also lucky they're complacent as you're seemingly unable to see beyond 'tried that, didn't work, now what?'.

I've realised I didn't really give much advice. Distraction in the same room didn't work with DS. What did work was totally changing the scene where possible eg right coats on, we're going for a scooter ride, time for a play in the bath, let's go in the garden ect. When he was like this he needed to be moved to another environment.

Thank you. I dragged him onto the trampoline in the end. Then to preschool. Thank god!