To lock my three year old in a room

[Dontknowwhattodoreally]

My 3 year old is being very difficult and keeps trying to hurt baby sibling. I keep moving him away but he just keeps moving back and laughing his head off. I keep picking the baby up but he wants to play and tbh it’s not fair on him … no idea how to manage

how often is he at nursery? When is this climbing on and hurting the baby happening? And are there other behaviour issues?
You are going to have to tighten the boundaries at home, and enforce strict rules about his behaviour around the baby. Time out (not in a locked room) is fine.

You've had some really excellent replies on here already so I won't repeat what's already been suggested. I have 3 children 4 and under and all boys so completely understand.

If he's laughing at you it's cos he doesn't respect you or what you say. You need to be tough with him. If you're not he's going to grow up like my friends 5 year old son who feels he can rule the house and his parents are scared of him. Children need to have boundaries not full control. Keep putting him back on the naughty step over and over again until he learns that's what I did with my eldest. It took ages but he got it and knew he couldn't get away with unacceptable behaviour. My younger two also know what the naughty step is as he has also taught them if they misbehave that's where they sit. He now sits there himself if he knows he's done something wrong!

It's hard work when you're knackered but it will pay off in the long run. Do the activities as advised above and definitely get the travel cot. Your constant setting of boundaries and what is / not acceptable will make all the difference in the long term. He will still love you! You're not being mean! You're helping him understand respect towards you and the baby whilst doing all the nice fun things too. It's hard but you'll get there xx

@Dontknowwhattodoreally you are not a crap mum. Remember that 🙂
He's 3.
3 year olds are pains in the bum.

A 3 year old has to be shown how to interact with a baby. Just moving him away isn’t going to teach him this. He is too young to have the intention to hurt the baby. Excluding him will cause sibling rivalry in future as he will see you choosing the baby while pushing him away.

You need to be with both of them and show him nice things he can do to interact with a baby. Like pat the baby on the head, or hold out a finger for the baby to grasp, or let’s sing a song to the baby together.

Are you playing with your 3 year old? Are you letting baby have time playing without you? Do you have a cuddle or read a book with your 3 year old while feeding?

What was he like before baby? My DS was a lot like this when younger with his sister (and can still be at times) and wouldn't stay in time out ect. I've since found out he has ADHD and is now being assessed for Autism also.

I'm not saying that's what he will have. But it affects the way we respond. A lot of advice on here wouldn't have worked for DS.

No, I usually ignore him

Are you the poster who wrote on here the other day that your 3 year old is biting and scratching other children at nursery and causing problems with your baby? If so it seems to me that you are having a really difficult time and I do feel for you. Could you get some help from your GP or other health professionals? These things won't go away unless something changes and I hate to think of you struggling alone.

Please don't lock your son in a room. My husband was locked in a room when he was a child and it has taken him decades and therapy to overcome the effects on him.

What?

Poor little fellow. He just wants to join in and play.

And that was pretty cruel.

Poor little fellow? Because I won’t let him crush a baby?

I do.

Was the what in response to my post OP?

Was it you the other day? I'm honestly only asking as I'm concerned for you and you sound in exactly the same situation as the poster a day or two ago.

I genuinely don’t want to be rude but you seem to be talking about something else. Sorry, I don’t understand?

We use a baby gate for this scenario. I have a 15 month old and nearly 4 YO.

Baby gate on playroom door, and on bedroom door. It means I can seperate the two easily and safely if I need a wee or something!

Also useful when doing a time out for the 4YO. I pop them the other side of the gate and set the timer for one minute and continue to play with the baby doing something the 4YO wants to do too. After a minute is up I ask are you coming in to play with us nicely? Usually they do!

Locking your kid in a room is a good way to ensure they have issues when they are older

Anyway, there have been some helpful posts and thank you - we’re having some defiance and tricky behaviour. Lots of friends in same boat so don’t think it’s all me. Unless we’re all crap parents.

Ok, sorry, I thought you were another poster.

Please don't lock your son in a room though. Some help in real life rather than on here might be more practical and useful to you I think.

Put the baby in a high sided or gates playpen

What a shitty thing to say about someone who is struggling. You should be ashamed of yourself.

No, because you have said you keep pushing/moving him away from you, you feel like you and baby are constantly “hiding” from him meaning you are leaving him alone and unsupervised, and now you are saying you mostly ignore him.

I think this is cruel. He is your baby too. He is not an unruly dangerous dog that you can just shut away.