To lock my three year old in a room

[Dontknowwhattodoreally]

My 3 year old is being very difficult and keeps trying to hurt baby sibling. I keep moving him away but he just keeps moving back and laughing his head off. I keep picking the baby up but he wants to play and tbh it’s not fair on him … no idea how to manage

No that's never the right thing to do, you don't lock toddlers in rooms.

Ok thanks

Obviously you can't lock him in a room.

The new baby is a huge change, he is used to having you all to himself. He needs attention and love. Pushing him away is going to make it so much worse.

Try to set regular times where you play with him 1-1 while the baby can go in a rocker or crib

No, Personally I’d keep the baby with you/closely supervise them. If you need to leave them alone shortly (eg for the toilet) I’d take the baby with you rather than lock the toddler away.

Do you mean overnight? Because I'm trying to work out what to do when baby goes into their own room to stop 3/4 year old going in to play at night.

How about moving the baby away to safety?

How old is the baby? And how old is the 3 year old (as in newly 3 or nearly 4)?

Distraction is often better than reaction- or else he will continue to do this to get your attention and reactions. Redirect- kindly but firmly.

“We don’t hurt each other, Thomas would like to play with you though, can you show him how to build a tower and he could knock it down?” etc

I’ve tried , but ds1 keeps following

He's likely to be jealous, can you put baby in a bouncy chair and engage him in an activity? I heard great advice that you shouldn't blame the baby for anything, I.e. don't say 'I can't play because I'm feeding the baby' try I'll play with you in 15 mins (or whatever) and set a timer, or get him to!

The baby is 10 months so not a big change really and he wants to play. He doesn’t want to be in my arms while I stand up with him. It just feels like we’re both hiding from the 3 year old tbh … he is 3 years 4 months.

I think you need to be firm with him. He’s clearly jealous so definitely try and do more 1 on 1 activities with him. We used the naughty step at that age, not sure if that’s frowned upon now but worked for mine, but 3 was a difficult age for sure

Travel cot or playpen

The 3 year old can climb in those, though.

I had this when I brought my newborn home. So I put up a travel crib in the living room with toys and a moses basket etc for the baby to be put in safely when the toddler was being hard work

A baby and a toddler is obviously tricky.

Is he deliberately hurting baby or just being over enthusiastic?

Can you distract him with things like "helping" with a nappy change or other little jobs, so he feels involved?

Other distractions like going for a walk, putting baby in the buggy and going to the playground, taking him to a playgroup so he has other toys and children to focus on.

Without knowing a bit more about what's happening it's hard to give suggestions, but locking him in a room isn't the solution - although we've probably all thought about it at some point when you have a toddler pushing your buttons relentlessly.

Have you tried doing 'time ins'? They really worked when my 3 year old went through a stage of pushing his little brother over.

Basically, you comfort the baby first, then pick the older child up and tell them calmly what they did wrong, and tell them they need to sit with you until they are calm to keep everyone safe. Then, instead of putting them in a different room/naughty step/or whatever, you sit them on your knee or next to you for a few minutes. When you tell them they can go play, remind them they need to be gentle.

The only thing that worked for me was taking them outside as much as possible. I wrapped the baby up and walked. To the shops, to the park, every single day, to wear out the 3 year old. I lost so much weight without even trying. I was lucky enough to know a couple of other mums in similar situation and we would meet up and encourage the 3 year olds to play, or at least interact without too much fighting. I used to take a ball, collect sticks, buy a small treat. It is exhausting and you don't get much else done, but it passes.

I can’t have the baby in a pram all day, though. It isn’t fair. At the moment he wants to play on his mat with toys and just feels a bit … don’t know really. Anyway.

You'll need to scroll down a bit but this article has lots of excellent advice on dealing with this. I'd also recommend the book. https://www.ahaparenting.com/read/positive-discipline-when-toddler-hits-baby

Could you sit on the floor and play with them? Is the older one definitely trying to hurt the younger one, or is it more along the lines of too rough/inappropriate for the age difference? If you can get down in between them and direct the play and model appropriate behaviour towards the younger one it might help. From the older one's point of view, does he feel pushed out as you are constantly with the younger one.

Can you leave the younger one with a friend or relative and do some one to one with the older one?

Why can't you play with the three year old while the 10 month old is in the play pen with age appropriate toys.

Then swap around and fill play pen with soft plastic balls so it is a ball pit for older child whilst you play with ten month old.

The three year old needs as much attention and interaction as the ten month old. Otherwise it will escalate.

We don’t have a play pen. I can get one but obviously not this second

3 year old doesn’t want to play with me, just wants to climb on / strangle his brother. He does have a lot of attention, sometimes I worry it’s too much tbh.

Get him his own baby - a doll to look after.

Then borrow a travel cot basically you are trying to facilitate play with you between them.

He has one thanks he isn’t really interested in ir