I think it depends on money, family support, expectations and your individual child.
People say you don’t need money but you absolutely do. You will be knocking about with parents who have stuff that makes their life easier and you will feel guilt you can’t provide x,y, z for your child. They change rapidly and need different things every month almost. And u want freedom to get the best or safest option. Or adapt eg if you kid had colic you’d want to buy them additional things to try and stop the hours of screaming.
my child doesn’t sleep well- no issues, she’s small born and eats a lot to grow. She’s doing great but I breastfeed and have not had a full nights sleep for over a year now. 4 hrs in a row is a good night for me- even if I have flu I still have to keep going. Initially I was feeding her hourly- that’s normal for breastfed.No one prepared me for this. Some I know- their kids sleep- no way of knowing until you roll the dice. Even those who sleep train eg don’t pick them up when crying- it’s not magic- any illness or teething etc they need extra comfort.
the hospital tells you to prepare for 8 cold/viruses a year which last up to 14 days in little ones . That’s normal. When they have a cold- you have to hold them more, they need comfort, as in you hold them on you at night coz they can’t breathe etc. not all the time but it happens. But u can’t fall asleep in a chair with them incase they suffocate! But u are so tired.
that aside your day to day is caregiving so changing them, nappies, washing, outfit changes from poo or wee leaks, feeding, burping, nap schedules. All whilst your child has other ideas and may be screaming at you.that aspect is deeply monotonous. Plus all of it takes endless research eg what’s the best nappy, how do you do a nappy, what is this rash? What’s the best cream? But you have NO TIME to give it the best research so you just do what you can, ask around or learn from your mistakes. Plus the bigger they get the stronger you get so you are wrestling like 2/3 stone toddlers/babies to do things- it’s physical!
The people I meet at baby classes are not deep connections- they are new aquaintances so you can feel very lonely. You’re on your own as a care giver 24/7. Even with a decent partner the enormity of keeping something so small and helpless alive is on you as mother. It’s just set up that mostly we are default parents. For all I try to push back- naturally I sleep light and wake to any cries or change in sounds. Partner doesn’t.
so logistically be prepared for some of the lowest lows you’ve ever felt. Leaving the house is a military operation and you can’t leave baby for any length of time when breastfeeding initially as you need to build supply/ they need feed on demand. Anything that you defined yourself on is gone initially- perhaps your image has changed, time for hobbies , work etc all gone. You could feel trapped as there isn’t any way out of it- you’ve made the commitment- you can’t give them back but you love them so much you don’t want to! Plus you think you look after them best so you don’t want to palm them off elsewhere necessarily.
but then obviously the love I feel for my DC is like nothing else and I had a gap in my life ready to try something new. I was older than you tho and had done most of what I had set out to do. There are 18 years of childhood and perhaps different ages will be more fun/ easier challenges. Not everyone has a kid to have a baby of you know what I mean.
my best advice is make sure your house is set up for a kid eg they will have their own bedroom ready- no DIT to do- you won’t have time! And save up some money. And keep some sort of routine eg leaving the house so it doesn’t become one point slog. You can do it if you want to but your life will never be the same or your relationship- but it doesn’t mean it’s worse- it’s just different and you are tested. But you get through. Good luck.
ps I find people don’t talk honestly like this and if they do people say about PND. Sometimes it’s the case. But honestly if you aren’t a carer or childcare by profession and you’re suddenly thrust in to that with no sleep- I think a lot of people would not enjoy all of it, all of the time! It’s ok to feel overwhelmed as it’s a big important job. But everyday there are moments where you are amazed by your child or they learn something new and you can’t believe how quick it changes!