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AIBU?

to think is gross / to be worried?

425 replies

listyle · 25/02/2024 23:30

a friend of mine has been telling me for a while now she's suffering with smelling of body odour on her armpits even after showering.

She asked me do I ever smell after showering & I said no. She asked what am I doing different from her so i asked about her diet/what body wash is she using etc we got talking about shower routines and I explained I use a loofah and that I literally scrub my body from head to toe, and that I shower everyday & use deodorant afterwards as well as body lotion etc.

She was shocked , first of all that i shower everyday , she said she showers AT MOST 3 times a week and when she does shower she jumps in, rinses her body with water, whacks shower gel on her hands puts it on armpits and bum (nowhere else) , rinses that off and hops out (excepts for the days she washes her hair, she'll do that) and she'll only use a deodorant when she's bothered. I said to her "no wonder". I wanted to be as nice as possible. I explained that she needs to start washing her full body and washing armpits 2/3x and preferably with a loofah & ALWAYS use deodorant afterwards. She was like "but the issue is only my armpits I don't need to be putting body wash anywhere else I only wash my armpits and bum"

I was being so so nice to her but also trying to get the seriousness across and the importance of personal hygiene.

It's shocked me to be honest she's a close friend and she doesn't come across as dirty. I've never smelled anything bad off of her, she comes across as clean and presents herself well.

I feel a bit concerned is it mental health related? We're very good friends and I've never once thought she has bad mental health but I suppose it's not always visible.

She just seemed so shocked that I shower everyday. She couldn't wrap her head around that I use a loofah and I wash my arms/legs/belly button/back , literally everywhere. She literally only rinses with water, uses hands to wash armpits and bum and that's it. She said her showers are no longer than 3/4 minutes (unless washing hair which would make it 10 mins)

She also mentioned if she wants to shave she'll take a bath but won't put anything in the bath. Only put body wash on armpits and bum and when she rinses that off the suds will go into the bath.

She said she thought this was the norm and what most people did.

I don't know, I haven't stopped thinking about it all day. Am I crazy? If it was your friend would you be worried? I'm not sure if she took on what I said about what she should be doing. She seemed like it would be so much effort for her to do.

(I know she doesn't use mumsnet)

OP posts:
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Muchcolderthanoflate · 25/02/2024 23:35

Your routine sounds completely OTT sorry. I'm completely with your friend, as for you suspecting she has mental health issues, well......

I do shower every day but that whole loofah thing is bonkers plus no I don't stick tons of chemicals all over myself, in the water etc. I only wear deodorant in the summer tbh as I know I don't need it otherwise.

You said she doesn't ever smell bad, well there you go then!

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RogueFemale · 25/02/2024 23:37

YABU

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QuestionableMouse · 25/02/2024 23:38

It's obviously working for her if she has no BO.

I don't shower every day, and using a loofah makes me feel like I've been sandpapered!

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Haggisfish3 · 25/02/2024 23:38

Erm I don’t think your friend is the one with issues!! I shower every other day and don’t scrub everywhere. I do put deodorant on every day. I don’t smell.

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AntiHop · 25/02/2024 23:39

Your routine sounds ott. Hers sounds like she doesn't wash throughly enough.

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ladymuckofthemanor · 25/02/2024 23:40

Very surprised at the first two posters! Do people generally have poor hygiene?

No, YANBU. to not shower / soap up every day is vile.

Basic essential personal hygiene is: Daily shower, lather up etc, deodorant daily.

Anything less is gross.

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SilverBranchGoldenPears · 25/02/2024 23:41

Errr yes. There must be a happy medium somewhere but seriously what you are doing is far far worse for your body than what she is doing.
Is this a reverse as this is so crackers it makes no sense to me for anyone to be suggesting that this body scrubbing, man made chemical routine is ok.

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WildBear · 25/02/2024 23:43

I shower every other day most of the time. More in the summer months/if I've been to the gym. I don't always use deo... I think it's actually important to let your body get rid of toxins and not block it up...

I do think she probably should use shower gel all over and not just armpits/bum. I don't think a loopah is a prerequisite for a clean body. What exactly are you scrubbing off? Do you work down the mines?

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Icepop79 · 25/02/2024 23:43

Shower every day, but definitely don’t use a loofah ever. Shower gel on torso, armpits, feet and butt. Hair wash every other day.
Anti-perspiring is essential for me. Am a very sweaty person!

Ypur routine sounds way too much. Hers sounds too little.

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ApiaryNexus · 25/02/2024 23:44

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K0OLA1D · 25/02/2024 23:45

ladymuckofthemanor · 25/02/2024 23:40

Very surprised at the first two posters! Do people generally have poor hygiene?

No, YANBU. to not shower / soap up every day is vile.

Basic essential personal hygiene is: Daily shower, lather up etc, deodorant daily.

Anything less is gross.

I shower every other day and wash my hair twice a week. I am not gross. Disabled, yes. But not gross

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KimberleyClark · 25/02/2024 23:46

I shower every day but I don’t scrub myself, I’m not a dirty saucepan.

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WildBear · 25/02/2024 23:46

ladymuckofthemanor · 25/02/2024 23:40

Very surprised at the first two posters! Do people generally have poor hygiene?

No, YANBU. to not shower / soap up every day is vile.

Basic essential personal hygiene is: Daily shower, lather up etc, deodorant daily.

Anything less is gross.

Maybe you sweat more than other people?

If you don't smell and aren't filthy, you don't need to shower daily. Whether that is "gross" or not is very much a cultural determination, not a health one.

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iwafs · 25/02/2024 23:47

OP, I’m sorry but I think scrubbing yourself all over with a loofah is way too much. Unless you have been down a coal mine. Body lotion is completely unnecessary as well.

I would say that her problem is expecting shower gel to do much at all. She needs a proper bar of soap to clean under her arms. That’s all, then she’ll be fine. Washing with hands is fine also. I only rinse my arms unless they are grimy - eg mud from garden and I’ll soap them (with my hands)

deodorant is also rubbish for you health wise. If you spray it, it’s terrible to inhale. The body is meant to sweat. I don’t wear it anymore.

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Arbor · 25/02/2024 23:47

Unless you live in a hot climate, or have a physically demanding occupation, there is no requirement to wash every single day. Doing so will only dry your skin and waste water. (I live in a country that needs to conserve water; it is drummed into us not to shower every day unless we absolutely have to and to keep showers to 3-4 mins.) Using a loofah is optional. A mild soap is best.

What OP's friend is likely missing in her routine is the correct deodorant for her.

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KissMyArt · 25/02/2024 23:47

she's a close friend and she doesn't come across as dirty. I've never smelled anything bad off of her, she comes across as clean and presents herself well.

So what's with all the 'shock'? Confused

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iwafs · 25/02/2024 23:48

ladymuckofthemanor · 25/02/2024 23:40

Very surprised at the first two posters! Do people generally have poor hygiene?

No, YANBU. to not shower / soap up every day is vile.

Basic essential personal hygiene is: Daily shower, lather up etc, deodorant daily.

Anything less is gross.

It’s not gross, it’s just a sign of the times. When my mum was a kid, she had one bath a week in front of the fire. She still has one bath a week. It’s fine.

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listyle · 25/02/2024 23:48

maybe my routine is just OTT then. I definitely do things that others don't and I don't think their gross for it! But not washing your belly bottom/feet is weird to me personally. (The full body in general but especially those areas)

Using a loofah is definitely not mandatory which is why I said preferably! I was just telling her what I do and what works for me.

The routine my friend is doing at the moment is clearly not working for her as she has an issue with smelling of body odour after each shower. I've personally never smelt it off her before, but she does and she mentioned her partner smells it.

I don't want to judge her at all. I'm the least judgemental person you'll ever meet. I just wasn't sure how to do about it. I felt shocked

OP posts:
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WildBear · 25/02/2024 23:49

You are only using a loofah? You should be using a medium grit sandpaper (at least) to properly scrub your skin... How amateurish! ;-)

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PawsisShady · 25/02/2024 23:49

I don't think you're OTT, I use soap and exfoliating gloves for armpits, feet etc then wash all over with a shower gel or oil, 2/3 times a week I use a body scrub or exfoliating cloth
Obviously apply antiperspirant too which is designed to stay on so it does need a bit of effort to get it off

Body lotion is necessary for some people

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PawsisShady · 25/02/2024 23:50

And yes wash belly button, in between toes, legs, back, ears etc

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SmashedPrawnsInAMilkyBasket · 25/02/2024 23:50

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ApiaryNexus · 25/02/2024 23:51

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MonsteraMama · 25/02/2024 23:53

Loofahs are awful for your skin and unless you're boiling it after every shower they usually harbour a fuck ton of bacteria to boot. Most dermatologists would tell you to bin it.

Your routine is excessive, she could probably do with being a little more rigorous with hers but of the two yours sounds far more neurotic than hers.

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MewMame · 25/02/2024 23:53

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Why do people do this?! There are more and more of them, and unlike quora or something I can’t see the incentive to clog up mumsnet with ai crap. Why is a human copying and pasting questions and answers to give a strange response to a fairly pointless question?

The friend’s shower is the more normal and healthy one, obviously. OP is not doing good things for her skin microbiome.

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