to think is gross / to be worried?

[listyle]

a friend of mine has been telling me for a while now she's suffering with smelling of body odour on her armpits even after showering.

She asked me do I ever smell after showering & I said no. She asked what am I doing different from her so i asked about her diet/what body wash is she using etc we got talking about shower routines and I explained I use a loofah and that I literally scrub my body from head to toe, and that I shower everyday & use deodorant afterwards as well as body lotion etc.

She was shocked , first of all that i shower everyday , she said she showers AT MOST 3 times a week and when she does shower she jumps in, rinses her body with water, whacks shower gel on her hands puts it on armpits and bum (nowhere else) , rinses that off and hops out (excepts for the days she washes her hair, she'll do that) and she'll only use a deodorant when she's bothered. I said to her "no wonder". I wanted to be as nice as possible. I explained that she needs to start washing her full body and washing armpits 2/3x and preferably with a loofah & ALWAYS use deodorant afterwards. She was like "but the issue is only my armpits I don't need to be putting body wash anywhere else I only wash my armpits and bum"

I was being so so nice to her but also trying to get the seriousness across and the importance of personal hygiene.

It's shocked me to be honest she's a close friend and she doesn't come across as dirty. I've never smelled anything bad off of her, she comes across as clean and presents herself well.

I feel a bit concerned is it mental health related? We're very good friends and I've never once thought she has bad mental health but I suppose it's not always visible.

She just seemed so shocked that I shower everyday. She couldn't wrap her head around that I use a loofah and I wash my arms/legs/belly button/back , literally everywhere. She literally only rinses with water, uses hands to wash armpits and bum and that's it. She said her showers are no longer than 3/4 minutes (unless washing hair which would make it 10 mins)

She also mentioned if she wants to shave she'll take a bath but won't put anything in the bath. Only put body wash on armpits and bum and when she rinses that off the suds will go into the bath.

She said she thought this was the norm and what most people did.

I don't know, I haven't stopped thinking about it all day. Am I crazy? If it was your friend would you be worried? I'm not sure if she took on what I said about what she should be doing. She seemed like it would be so much effort for her to do.

(I know she doesn't use mumsnet)

Leaving this thread as making me queasy now 😂

I thought the period question was supposed to provoke an answer of washing more often 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I think it’s not fair to jump to conclusions about people not having showered. My cousin’s SIL has a digestive issue which means she can develop a detectable odour within quite a short time after bathing or showering.

She doesn’t smell of BO because she only showers three times a week. She smells of BO because she doesn’t consistently use deodorant. Scrubbing with a loofah every day will have no impact on sweating or BO.

The OP says
”she doesn't come across as dirty. I've never smelled anything bad off of her, she comes across as clean and presents herself well.”

It is only the friend themselves who has detected a change themselves in their body odour.

But loads on mn know exactly when people last showered by standing near them. Odd skill....

I once read a mumsnetters state she could pinpoint exactly when someone last washed their bra solely by the smell.

Got to be some sort of use for that kind of extraordinary talent..

Ladies please wash thoroughly ffs.
When I read these threads about irregular washing I just feel like jumping in a bath full of dettol.

Lady, stop being so patronising. No one is going to listen to a rando on the internet.

Oh well, then they can continue to honk then.

If you have to wash so much maybe you’re the honker.

Except that the reason the OP is so shocked is because her friend doesn't smell. Indeed, so little does she smell, that the OP assumed she had the same cleansing routine as she did. In fact, the same applies to every person who has claimed faux shock that other people don't bathe every day - if it really meant that everyone was so smelly, they'd have noticed long before they found out on an online forum.

And do stop saying 'honk'. It makes you sound like a silly goose.

If that makes you feel better…

All these obsessive washers seem also pretty obsessed with what others do or don't do. I mean I do live with four other people, even if DM or DH were too kind to tell me I stink, my teenage DDs would make no bones about it! I'm pretty annoyed that there are so many people wasting water and energy with so much unneccessary washing of themselves, and no doubt their clothes and homes as well, and sending lots of extra chemicals into the environment.

If it makes you feel better jump on in then, nobody’s stopping you! Maybe all the dettol fumes will help you get off your high horse and be a little less patronising.

I explained I use a loofah and that I literally scrub my body from head to toe, and that I shower everyday & use deodorant afterwards as well as body lotion etc.

It's a body, not an office toilet.

Haha!

🤣

I bought a loofah yesterday.

A real loofah or a synthetic scrub puff thing?!

It’s a pink glove, so synthetic definitely.

I’m just so happy I’m not mental anymore now, because I hadn’t realised.

Just to update, I used the loofah and don’t feel any differently.

But we probably can’t smell you anymore. And your MH will have improved no end!

This thread is funny. All hygiene ones are. It feels so odd to care about someone else's intimate habits. Some people love showering constantly, most do it enough not to smell, some people have fucking fish odour syndrome, I have gone through periods of severe depression where I can't bathe, brush hair, teeth, look at a mirror. It is sad if people can't do daily care tasks but staying alive is more important than using a loofah for an hour a day. Sometimes. Haha.

I shower every morning, use a shower gel and loofah all over, then deodorant and moisturiser on my body, arms, and legs. Every day. Twice in hot weather. Anything less than once a day is scruffy and slovenly.

😴