to think is gross / to be worried?

[listyle]

a friend of mine has been telling me for a while now she's suffering with smelling of body odour on her armpits even after showering.

She asked me do I ever smell after showering & I said no. She asked what am I doing different from her so i asked about her diet/what body wash is she using etc we got talking about shower routines and I explained I use a loofah and that I literally scrub my body from head to toe, and that I shower everyday & use deodorant afterwards as well as body lotion etc.

She was shocked , first of all that i shower everyday , she said she showers AT MOST 3 times a week and when she does shower she jumps in, rinses her body with water, whacks shower gel on her hands puts it on armpits and bum (nowhere else) , rinses that off and hops out (excepts for the days she washes her hair, she'll do that) and she'll only use a deodorant when she's bothered. I said to her "no wonder". I wanted to be as nice as possible. I explained that she needs to start washing her full body and washing armpits 2/3x and preferably with a loofah & ALWAYS use deodorant afterwards. She was like "but the issue is only my armpits I don't need to be putting body wash anywhere else I only wash my armpits and bum"

I was being so so nice to her but also trying to get the seriousness across and the importance of personal hygiene.

It's shocked me to be honest she's a close friend and she doesn't come across as dirty. I've never smelled anything bad off of her, she comes across as clean and presents herself well.

I feel a bit concerned is it mental health related? We're very good friends and I've never once thought she has bad mental health but I suppose it's not always visible.

She just seemed so shocked that I shower everyday. She couldn't wrap her head around that I use a loofah and I wash my arms/legs/belly button/back , literally everywhere. She literally only rinses with water, uses hands to wash armpits and bum and that's it. She said her showers are no longer than 3/4 minutes (unless washing hair which would make it 10 mins)

She also mentioned if she wants to shave she'll take a bath but won't put anything in the bath. Only put body wash on armpits and bum and when she rinses that off the suds will go into the bath.

She said she thought this was the norm and what most people did.

I don't know, I haven't stopped thinking about it all day. Am I crazy? If it was your friend would you be worried? I'm not sure if she took on what I said about what she should be doing. She seemed like it would be so much effort for her to do.

(I know she doesn't use mumsnet)

People aren't just using water, they're using soap and water. It's much grimmer using loofahs which have been warm and damp and colonising bugs all day.

How so? Why am I not gross but someone who also showers every other day and doesn't smell is?

I dont think you're being unreasonable OP, my personal choice is a full wash in the shower at least once a day (in summer I have 2) with a hair wash every other day. I also wash my face, exfoliate my face and body twice a a week in the shower, use deodorant and body lotion every day. It's my routine, doesn't take long and I like to feel fresh and clean. I can't imagine not washing my full body in the shower, it doesn't take long!

I've got sensitive skin so cant use showergel at all, i shower every other day but dont stink. I'd have no skin at all if i loofah'd myself every day!?

So many people on this post with poor personal hygiene. If you aren't showering everyday, I hope for you are all at least taking a flannel to your pits and bits.

I think some of you have become nose blind to yourself! Even if you don't smell / sweat, a daily shower is a must.

For all those arguing against, claiming dermatologists recommend this / that / etc - that's an excuse for your poor hygiene. You still secrete oil, sebum, dead skin cells needs washing off, etc

Do you shit everyday? Well, then your ass needs washing.

Don't shower every day, but feet washed daily (plus other 'bits')

Daily showers are quite a new thing. Many older generationers only bathe or shower once a week and simply wash vital bits in the sink with a sponge or cloth. I think OP is over the top and is washing excessively and she states she couldn't stop thinking about her friends hygiene habits which suggests she has issues herself. Truth is if her friend is smelly she isn't washing enough etc. Also don't forget clothes. Not washing them often or well enough doesn't get rid of any bacteria or fungus on them especially underwear. Same goes for very old and worn clothes.

Daily soak of loofah in a mild antiseptic then hang on air dryer prevents bugs

Oh don't be daft @ladymuckofthemanor! That's you opinion not reality. Posters aren't saying they don't wash at all between showers. The fact that you would happily overrule an expert shows how silly your opinion is.

A clean ‘nutter’

Deodorant needs to be worn daily. I shower every other day unless going somewhere and use one of those body poof things to wash, but wash all over with that, arms, legs etc too. I always wash my hair when I shower too

And do you wash before you re-apply deodorant? If not it's a pointless exercise. I'd suggest whatever it is you're using isn't up to the job if you need to re-apply it up to twice more during the day.

Erm she sounds a bit lazy to be honest. If she knows she smells then chooses not to wash sounds very lazy to me.

Ease up with your scrubbing your skin. You will damage your skin barrier. Swop the loofah for a shower puff thing for the majority of your showers.

I shower every day, sometimes twice depending what I had done during that day. Or shower AM bath PM.

Sounds like you're the one with mental problems.. 🤷🏻‍♀️
Im similar to your friend 🙈
I shower after exercise or in summer everyday when it’s hot and i sweat more. But usually 3x a week is completely fine for me. I do use soap everywhere though.

It really depends on your sweating and body odour though. DH could never get away with my shower routine. He showers in the morning and body odour starts coming back in the evening, so sometimes he needs to shower twice. I can go a few days without showering in cool days with no exercise and my skin smells like nothing or still like the body lotion from days ago..

Not everyone’s the same.

You're not being unreasonable OP.

You can't just wash your arse and pits with soap, and rinse the rest with water, 2-3 times a week, and expect to be clean. You sweat plenty of other places than your pits.

Most people exercise during a week, whereby ideally you should be sweating. A rinse with water and a rub with a hand is not going to adequately and properly remove dried on sweat (which it will dry by the time you are home). You also accumulate dead skin cells and sebum which a rinse isn't going to remove. I also can't stand that people don't wear deodorant on a regular basis.

This thread is absolutely eye opening as to why so many people fucking reek. What most people forget is that you often cannot smell yourself as you become used to it. If you can smell yourself, you'll absolutely honk to other people. The amount of people you come across in public that you can smell 3 feet away is a fucking give away.

That being said, if she's not bothering you with her smell, let her get on with her rankness. Not worth teaching other adults how to shower. Grim.

Shower every morning. Cleanser on face, Shower oil on hands, rub on pits, tits and bits (big boobs so have to do under them). Wash off. Deodorant afterwards.

I don’t shower every day, my skin would be in a right state if I did! That doesn’t make me gross, it just means I have different skin than you. I also only wash my hair once a week :)

Which is why I prefer a soak in the bath !
As far as the BO is considered if she is suffering from anxiety or under pressure I think you can emit a stronger smell .

@listyle

I think YABU.

The amount of unnatural chemicals, packaging that goes into using all those products daily - plus you must be washing away your natural defence system. All causes more harm IMO.

Just had quick shower before work. Hair up in a cap. In- face washed with face stuff. Soap for body. Then shower gel on a puff. Rinse. Out into clean towel. Anti perspirant and a bit of body oil. Face moisturised. Got dressed. Did light make up. Having a coffee then teeth done before I leave. If your friend is getting smelly she needs to wash better.

It has to be "wet and dry" sandpaper though, the ordinary stuff just disintegrates in the water!

Another thing is the stealth boasts about people who only wash their hair once a week or whatever. I have a friend who boasted she only has to wash her hair every week or so.

I already can tell. I can smell it.

Again, your head sweats, your scalp secrets oils, sebum etc. Just because your hair isn't greasy, doesn't mean it's not smelly. I'm not suggesting folk wash their hair every day - that would seriously not be good for a lot of people. But even totally 'ungreasy' hair smells after a week. The owner of said hair just doesn't notice.

Alternatively, they proclaim their natural odour isn't bad. They're the fucking worst type of people. The number one thing you learn in personal hygiene is that you often cannot smell yourself.

I only shower 2 days a week and only use soap on armpits and private areas

If I scrubbed myself top to toe every day my skin would be coming off in strips! I only exfoliate about once a fortnight.

Well a lot of credulous people have clearly fallen for the adverts for shower gel.

You need to soap your creases. Any germ lingering part way down my thigh is of no danger to anyone. For most people, the top layer of skin will be exfoliated naturally by clothes and movement.

Cover your body with chemicals, strip off the natural oils and protective layer. Compensate by slathering on another product.

Marketing dream. All that stuff ends up in the waterways, polluting rivers. Manufacturing and transport pollution, waste products and bottles. All for something unnecessary.

Soap your creases.