to think is gross / to be worried?

[listyle]

a friend of mine has been telling me for a while now she's suffering with smelling of body odour on her armpits even after showering.

She asked me do I ever smell after showering & I said no. She asked what am I doing different from her so i asked about her diet/what body wash is she using etc we got talking about shower routines and I explained I use a loofah and that I literally scrub my body from head to toe, and that I shower everyday & use deodorant afterwards as well as body lotion etc.

She was shocked , first of all that i shower everyday , she said she showers AT MOST 3 times a week and when she does shower she jumps in, rinses her body with water, whacks shower gel on her hands puts it on armpits and bum (nowhere else) , rinses that off and hops out (excepts for the days she washes her hair, she'll do that) and she'll only use a deodorant when she's bothered. I said to her "no wonder". I wanted to be as nice as possible. I explained that she needs to start washing her full body and washing armpits 2/3x and preferably with a loofah & ALWAYS use deodorant afterwards. She was like "but the issue is only my armpits I don't need to be putting body wash anywhere else I only wash my armpits and bum"

I was being so so nice to her but also trying to get the seriousness across and the importance of personal hygiene.

It's shocked me to be honest she's a close friend and she doesn't come across as dirty. I've never smelled anything bad off of her, she comes across as clean and presents herself well.

I feel a bit concerned is it mental health related? We're very good friends and I've never once thought she has bad mental health but I suppose it's not always visible.

She just seemed so shocked that I shower everyday. She couldn't wrap her head around that I use a loofah and I wash my arms/legs/belly button/back , literally everywhere. She literally only rinses with water, uses hands to wash armpits and bum and that's it. She said her showers are no longer than 3/4 minutes (unless washing hair which would make it 10 mins)

She also mentioned if she wants to shave she'll take a bath but won't put anything in the bath. Only put body wash on armpits and bum and when she rinses that off the suds will go into the bath.

She said she thought this was the norm and what most people did.

I don't know, I haven't stopped thinking about it all day. Am I crazy? If it was your friend would you be worried? I'm not sure if she took on what I said about what she should be doing. She seemed like it would be so much effort for her to do.

(I know she doesn't use mumsnet)

Nothing at all. My own grammar and spelling are impeccable. It’s just that the style of an AI response, with its careful balancing of both sides of a debate and a neat conclusion, makes it instantly recognisable. Responses by humans are much more valuable than pre-programmed replies which feel trite and manufactured, and are unlikely to reflect any real person’s true-life experiences.

It's AI generated and not helpful because the friend doesn't have hygiene issues.

Of the two, I think you are the more extreme. The fact that you think using shower gel on your hands to wash your body with, could be a mental health issue is bonkers!
I'd be interested what the results of that are, because I only use my hands too. I bet most people do. It seems more hygienic to me, than having a loofah or sponge.
I think deodorant straight after the shower is the key to not getting BO.

I shower usually twice a day. But I usually only soap my armpits and undercarriage area. I exfoliate my entire body with a mitt probably twice a week, when I will soap my entire body. And I scrub my feet to remove the dead skin twice a week. But otherwise I don’t soap my feet unless they’re actually dirty.

I only apply deodorant after my morning shower, not at night.

Some people’s bodies smell more or less than others. I think for your friend if she’s concerned about BO washing more and using deodorant at least daily is recommended. I also wonder if she has hairy armpits. I find mine start to trap smell if I let a little bit of hair grow,

I have a body wash in the shower every day by putting some shower cream onto a loofah and washing my whole body. I also use deodorant after a shower. I wash my hair every 2/3 days.
I don't understand how people don't feel grubby not having a wash every day, it literally takes 5 minutes.

I think because “feeling grubby” is just that - a feeling. It’s not to say that you’re actually dirty.

Have you tried having one as someone who struggles with mobility?

Everybody here is being hard on op.

Op I would be concerned if my friend was not taking care of her personal hygiene. Especially if I worried they may be depressed. It's not abnormal for people who are depressed to make less effort with appearance etc.

The loufa thing is normal. My showers are only 5 minutes but I wash everything in that five minutes with those one of those Italy cloth thingys (rough feeling and remove dead skin and exfoliate) and use gallons of shower gel. I shower ever day sometimes more if I've been at the gym or running. I also finish with body lotion after the shower because it always smells lush.

I don't know why everybody here is being so weird about it. Clearly if her friend smells she needs to wash more.

That's a whole lot of she saids

You do realise that the recommendation from dermatologists is not to shower every day for the sake of your skin?

Most of my showers are water only.

Once a week I'll do a full bodywash and loofah scrub. In that shower i'll also shave arms/legs/bikini line, wash my hair, scrub my scalp and deep condition my hair, use a face/neck scrub, pumice my feet and cut my toenails. A good all over.

The 2 or 3 showers I'll take in the week between these 'big showers' are water only and a quick shampoo/condition.

Never had a complaint!

I don’t think using a loofah every day is necessary-in fact you’re probably causing microabrasions on your skin that bacteria can colonise leading to more body odour-and as someone said the loofah will be full of bacteria from sitting in the shower not being cleaned each day. Washing with hands if fine/preferable!

I think there is a happy medium somewhere between your routine and your friends routine.

I bath every evening (unless I'm really unwell then I might skip an evening), I use a shower gel for arms, armpits, chest and underneath breasts, belly button, legs and feet including between my toes. I use my face wash to clean my face and behind my ears and neck and femfresh for my bum and the outer bit of down below. I wash my hair 2/3 times a week.

I don't use a loofah, I use deodorant after bath but don't reapply in morning (I'm not a sweaty person) I will if it's a hot summers day, I moisturise my whole body twice a week because if I do it every day it clogs my pores and gives me a weird sweaty feeling on my legs and arms. I definitely wouldn't think somebody was dirty if they bathed/showered every other day (obviously if they had a job that involved getting dirty/exercised etc) then that's a different story but personal hygiene is a personal preference.

I didn't question my friends mental health because she doesn't use a loofah that's ridiculous! Using your hands is fine. I was telling her what I do and what works best for me (like she asked)

She knows her armpits smell even after showering. She can't understand why, it's bizarre to her. Her partner has started to mention it to her. She wants to fix it. IMO because of this she should know to wash more than once a week , instead of a quick rinse and wash of the armpits.
She should know and want to try things to improve the odour, for example wash more regularly/ wash armpits 2/3x instead of a quick wash and rinse. And to use deodorant always When I explained this it seemed like it would be a lot of effort to her. I find it strange that she doesn't think to up her routine when she's having this issue. If I was having her issue I feel it would be common sense what I would need to do. It's like she came to me with this rocket science puzzle and she was seriously stuck. I sound like a bitch but I promise I'm not.

To me personally her routine is worrying especially when she knows she has an issue with armpit odour. . But like you all said I'm OTT.

I'm thinking to deeply into things , as I said were quite close and she would tell me how great her sex life and would have sex everyday and now I'm thinking she doesn't even shower everyday.

Some people have overactive sweat glands. Did you consider that before implying that your friend is just unhygienic?

DD showers daily and applies strong deodorant but for her that still isn’t enough. She needed Botox in her armpits to finally stop the sweating and the smell that comes with it

You're 100% correct that some people have overactive sweat glands. But before ruling that out I would recommend showering more than once a week, focus on washing the armpits instead of a very quick wash and rinse and using deodorant after each shower instead of whenever your bothered. If she then tries to up that and has no luck I would recommend she seen a GP.

My routine is similar to your friends. I shower every other day, if I’m out and about I’ll always shower and wash my hair. If I’m WFH I don’t. i use shower gel on arm pits and chest and nether regions but I don’t wash in between my toes or behind my ears. I’m not a cocker spaniel that’s been diving in mud. My feet are getting washed by all the water and soap suds. My mental health is just fine.

OP, you sound absolutely ridiculous 🤣 ‘I would recommend’ - are you pretending to be some sort of specialist or something?

Of course I’m correct in saying that some people have overactive sweat glands, I don’t need you to affirm this for me. The £600 coming out of my bank account every 6 months to pay for the treatment speaks for itself

I hope for your friend’s sake that you part ways, you seem very toxic and know it all.

She does have BO tho!

Op I'm on your side, it's gross not to wash properly.

😂😂😂

Me too!

I shower every other day (dry skin gets worse if more than that) and scrub everywhere.
Flannel for face, shower puff for body and foot brush for soles of my feet.
I use deodorant every day as well.
The thought of being unclean makes me uncomfortable.

@MaloneMeadow I'm definitely not a specialist nor trying to act like one, however I'm 99.9% sure if my friend went to the GP for suspected "overactive sweat glands" then the first thing the GP will ask is her shower routine. Once the GP hears her routine they would recommend exactly what I'm saying. Shower more regularly ✅ use deodorant ✅ then if no improvement they can look into a health issue. My friends issue at this moment sounds a personal hygiene issue not a health issue. Definitely not toxic , you're strange

Sometimes its trying to help, besides the same debate could be made even for human responses, eg why do people derail threads, why to people miss the obvious question the op asks and says instead x,y,z etc at least when someone uses Ai they mean it to be helpful, which based on many users here id guess at times is at least partly useful,

For example you only have to read the current threads in active and read all the human responses and then say how many are actually useful to the Op ?

t I Iuse a loofah and I wash my arms/legs/belly button/back , literally everywhere.

This sounds pretty odd tbh

Showering 3 x a week is fine