Page 30 | To have left this date.

Needtonamechange9 · 2024-02-24T23:00:24+00:00

So I'm pretty certain I'm in the right. I've been talking to this guy on the Bumble app for almost 2 months. Finally pinned down a date we could both meet (tonight). I spent time getting ready and uberring 30 mins to see him and this is what happens. I'm the grey one. I'm still in shock and on way home. If you read the rest of the messages from before today this guy seemed SO NORMAL!!!! Has a good job, kids.... WTF!!!!

mumda · 25/02/2024 10:20

Long time to be talking without finding time to meet.

Did he offer to book you an uber?
Is that normal (can someone do that without knowing where you live?)

He invited you to go to his house after you'd arranged to meet at a bar.

He's wrong if he thinks that's acceptable on a first date.

LeavingRightNow · 25/02/2024 10:21

Parentofeanda · 25/02/2024 10:06

You sound like a weirdo, he dodged a massive bullet there!!!

Raise your standards.

tiredmama23 · 25/02/2024 10:21

BarbieDangerous · 25/02/2024 10:17

When I read that, I didn’t think of a threesome at all. I assumed he meant that the three of you could have a good time at the place you were meant to meet. But then he started talking about coming round to his place which is ridiculous. Why is there also another person there on the first date? He’s a weirdo.

The fact that this thread is nearly hitting 40 pages (just like the train lady thread) in such a short amount of time, is really interesting. MNetters love a good date thread - with pics too!

He literally says "do you want to come here"?

Wanting to have drinks as a trio would have read "why don't we both meet you for a drink?" Equally a fucking absurd a suggestion for a first date, of course, which would have been a resounding fuck no from me.

But how you read that he was suggesting the OP meet the two of them at the bar, when he literally says, "do you want to come here", I do not know.

DeliciouslyDecadent · 25/02/2024 10:22

I hope that if this thread is genuine, @Needtonamechange9 is reading.

OP you need to reassess your dating rules.

Don't meet men at night - so late.
Don't go to a bar, choose a daytime meeting for a coffee or lunch or a walk (but nowhere deserted.)
Don't take up the offer of a cab (drive or use public transport - in the daytime ideally.)
Don't believe anything anyone says to you online (on their profile) until you meet them. It's often all lies.

That goes for age, status, where they live, their job- everything.

RosaMoline · 25/02/2024 10:23

Can someone direct me to the ‘train lady’ thread please?

saffy2 · 25/02/2024 10:23

I think you’ve completely
over reacted and I’m not sure why you’ve jumped to such weird conclusions, threesomes/he’s been drinking/hes not
making sense. His messages were coherent and made perfect sense. Not once did he say it would be a threesome and he was very open and honest about who was there and why he was late…
im surprised he then asked her to leave and came to meet you after that reaction to be honest!!

carelesser · 25/02/2024 10:23

LizFromMotherland · 24/02/2024 23:15

No, we're reading the same messages...the ones where the OP keeps banging on about sex and threesomes, weirdly!

Show quote history

You are clueless. Please don’t advise women.

tryeverythingonce · 25/02/2024 10:23

@MayThe4th Great post!!

There have been a couple of threads here recently where replies are weird and aggressive, basically telling the OP to shut up and put up, believe the man, that she is in the wrong for rocking the boat.

carelesser · 25/02/2024 10:24

OP, you 100% did the right thing.

Ignore the Stepford Wives here, for them, any man is better than no man, even a shit man.

frequentlyfrazzled · 25/02/2024 10:24

I think your instincts were spot on that he was some kind of creepy weirdo. He could have been planning a threesome or just trying to get you to go to his house, none of us know the answer to that. But if he was genuine about having a friend in need turn up out of the blue, surely he would have just rung straight away to explain the situation, not leave the OP dangling in a bar? None of it rings true at all. The whole thing sounds suss. In a situation like this surely it's better to risk overreacting and keep yourself safe. You might have got the wrong end of the stick about what exactly he was planning - who knows - but I think you've dodged a bullet.

carelesser · 25/02/2024 10:24

tryeverythingonce · 25/02/2024 10:23

@MayThe4th Great post!!

There have been a couple of threads here recently where replies are weird and aggressive, basically telling the OP to shut up and put up, believe the man, that she is in the wrong for rocking the boat.

The MRA are always trawling MN threads, fucking scum.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 25/02/2024 10:24

RosaMoline · 25/02/2024 10:23

Can someone direct me to the ‘train lady’ thread please?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am iibeingunreasonable/5014158-to-block-him-after-this-text-exchange?postsby=Moonlightandroses44

MrsCarson · 25/02/2024 10:25

You weren't overreacting to leave, he flaked on your date and he got weird. Bin him.

BarbieDangerous · 25/02/2024 10:26

tiredmama23 · 25/02/2024 10:21

He literally says "do you want to come here"?

Wanting to have drinks as a trio would have read "why don't we both meet you for a drink?" Equally a fucking absurd a suggestion for a first date, of course, which would have been a resounding fuck no from me.

But how you read that he was suggesting the OP meet the two of them at the bar, when he literally says, "do you want to come here", I do not know.

Show quote history

When he said ‘do you want to come here, it’s 5 mins down the road and the 3 of us can meet together.’ I thought that he meant his place is only 5 mins from the location they’re going too so OP can meet at his house, ‘pick them up’ in a sense and then the 3 of them will go to the location together.

No clue why you’re swearing and getting so aggressive as I clearly said ‘why is there another person on the date, he’s a weirdo’….

missmollygreen · 25/02/2024 10:26

He has had a lucky escape! He probably thought you were normal too lol

TheThreeCheesesOfTheApocalypse44 · 25/02/2024 10:26

Fucking hell op, he's dodged a bullet there 😳

tiredmama23 · 25/02/2024 10:26

saffy2 · 25/02/2024 10:23

I think you’ve completely
over reacted and I’m not sure why you’ve jumped to such weird conclusions, threesomes/he’s been drinking/hes not
making sense. His messages were coherent and made perfect sense. Not once did he say it would be a threesome and he was very open and honest about who was there and why he was late…
im surprised he then asked her to leave and came to meet you after that reaction to be honest!!

Really? 🤨

Dweetfidilove · 25/02/2024 10:26

🤣🤣🤣🤣I know this is serious, but Christ in the vessel, did that escalate 🤣🤣🤣🤣!

He’s rude, flakey, lack boundaries and the ‘I can’t help rescuing a damsel is a 🚩🚩🚩.

You, OP, need some brakes! You took it too far. If you felt he was angling for a threesome or otherwise wasting your time/changing the plans, so no thank you and leave- end of.
Sending streams of messages, whether your guess right or not, is just 😬😬😬.

If you’re going to keep dating, practise a graceful ‘sashay’. You were doing too way much.

Minikievs · 25/02/2024 10:27

I'm actually with you OP.
"Come round and have a drink with me and my (random) female friend and we could have a "nice time""
I actually think I'd think the same as you!
Regardless, the thing that would PISS ME OFF is him saying that this isn't a first date? He wants to date you properly but this isn't a first date 🤔
You don't go round to someone's house and have drink with them at their heartbroken female friend on a first date, and if he thinks that is appropriate, he's a massive weirdo

user1984778379202 · 25/02/2024 10:28

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Chocladore · 25/02/2024 10:28

I don’t understand anyone who thinks you’re the weird one here, OP.

There is definitely something ‘off’ about this.

You had to message him first asking where he was. Knowing you were waiting he should have sent you a text straight away. Then the story of a friend showing up, his reply that he doesn’t ‘just’ want sex, he wants to get to know you! Surely his response would have been ‘you’ve got this all wrong, I’m sorry if I gave you that impression’ or similar!

Ultimately he stood you up on your first date, a 30 minute taxi ride away then concocted a story (imo) to get you over to his house!

You dodged a bullet there, OP.

MayThe4th · 25/02/2024 10:28

Has anyone thought to advance search any of these MRA/sockpuppet/troll posters who are accusing the OP of being batshit?

willWillSmithsmith · 25/02/2024 10:28

saffy2 · 25/02/2024 10:23

I think you’ve completely
over reacted and I’m not sure why you’ve jumped to such weird conclusions, threesomes/he’s been drinking/hes not
making sense. His messages were coherent and made perfect sense. Not once did he say it would be a threesome and he was very open and honest about who was there and why he was late…
im surprised he then asked her to leave and came to meet you after that reaction to be honest!!

How do you know he was being honest?

tiredmama23 · 25/02/2024 10:29

@BarbieDangerous

I think that's a stretch tbh.

And I'm not "swearing and getting aggressive"
How ridiculous.

I said even if your take on it was correct, and he was suggesting he bring another woman on our first date (🤔🙄), it would be a "fuck no" from me. That's clearly not swearing at you, is it?

I'm not even addressing the aggressive accusation - utter rubbish. There's nothing in my post remotely aggressive and if you think there is we have wildly different definitions of aggressive! 🤣

Kbroughton · 25/02/2024 10:31

He's a dodgy dodgerson for one very telling reason. When you accused him of a threesome his reaction was weird! Most people would have absolutely denied it and it would put them off the person accusing them. Not him though. He instead acted very calmly and tried a different tack with you, telling you how serious he was. Whatever his intentions were re this woman (if she existed) they were not good. And you knew something was off so well done you.