Which is preferable - weekday wedding or child free wedding?

[overgrowngrass]

We are currently planning our wedding and shocked at how much everything costs. At the moment it looks like we might opt for either a weekday wedding to save costs, or have the wedding on a Saturday but without inviting children. The wedding will be in school holidays, if a weekday, as we have close family who are teachers.

As a parent, which is preferable?

YANBU - child free weekend wedding is preferable
YABU - I like to bring my kids, have it on a weekday

£6k/£9k literally covers venue cost only plus four bedrooms for two nights.

Why 4 bedrooms for 2 nights?

Child free at the weekend, and accept that means some guests won’t make it. Most of our group of friends prefer to come without young kids to a wedding if they can get a babysitter (unless it’s a family one with lots of aunties / uncles / grannies to help entertain them). It’s just hard work keeping them occupied all day if they’re small and you can’t enjoy it yourself.

Most venues will not charge for babes in arms so anyone with babies too young for a babysitter could probably bring them without a cost to you.

Presumably bride / groom, bridesmaids and groomsmen

Or parents - it’s a perfectly reasonable thing to arrange.

Weekend, child free. I never take my kids to a wedding.

Agree, that lady has issues!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Weekday please! Would rather just take a day’s annual leave than have to arrange and fork out hundreds for a 24 hr babysitter!
I dislike spending free time away from my kids but I get it’s sometimes the best option for couples.

I understand your best friend (presumably maid of honor) will want her kids there but does her partner really want to have to look after 4 kids on his own at a wedding as surely she will be too busy as part of the wedding party

we had a child free wedding and of that one person declined the invite as their child wasn’t invited, an usher complained a bit but his wife said under no circumstances would she bring them for her to solo parent as he would be busy and everyone else was happier to not bring their kids and have a more enjoyable time without having to look after their children, now I have kids unless it’s a family wedding, I don’t bring my kids if invited as I want to enjoy weddings not make them more stressful by making sure I have snacks for my kids who will no doubt be hungry as wedding food rarely matches the times kids normally eat or they don’t like the food as it’s the wrong kid of pasta or whatever the kids option is

Go child free at a weekend

So friends and cousins children should be there running about all day whilst having to exclude people she knows better?

Indeed.

These days friends can be far more important to many people than their extended families.

A weekend wedding was a must for me
I had family coming from all over
and although they still all took the Friday as leave to travel if it was a weekday they would need to take more

also a lot of my family are self employed so that would mean not getting paid

people don’t tend to enjoy a weekday weeding as much if they know yietbhave work the next day
and you might find your reception half empty

as for kids we had family children only

we have been to a lot of weddings that don’t invite children and we have no issues with that

That's up to the op isn't it, I have simply stated what my preference and thoughts are. By excluding children you potentially unintentionally exclude friends/family you want there as they may not want/be able to attend. The op asked for thoughts, I have given mine, you are welcome to disagree (as you clearly do), but it doesn't change what I think.

fair enough I just don’t understand how a friends 4 year old or a cousins 6 year old has anything to do the the joining of families

I'm generally in favour of midweek weddings. I worked on Saturdays during the years my friends were getting married, which means that every single wedding I've ever been to I've had to take as annual leave.

We've got 2 weekday child free weddings coming up. very annoying! I'm all for a child free wedding but being in the week makes it more difficult

in this case if it was a weekday it would be school holidays and kids would be with you

...or, more likely, I'd be working and they'd be in a holiday club, because I get considerably less annual leave than they get school holidays..?

A weekday wedding is just so sad. I always feel sorry for the couple. We ran off to Las Vegas, had a very tacky but fun wedding, and had a massive party in a church hall when we returned.

Would seriously resent having to take holiday for a midweek wedding so would almost certainly not go to one tbh.

Child free for me. Attendees get to have fun without their kids

I don't mind a child free wedding, but I'd be miffed at a weekday one, unless it was a Friday I'd be looking to take a minimum of two days annual leave (three if I had to travel to the location the day before the wedding). I really wouldn't want to be getting up for work the morning after a wedding.

I had a weekday wedding but ours was a destination, so everyone was away for the entire week.

Weekend without kids.

Totally understand the point about children being part of the joining of families - we had no nieces or nephews when we got married so the children we were excluding weren’t connected in that sense. I’d find it very odd and hurtful if my children weren’t invited to my siblings’ weddings, but wouldn’t expect them to be invited to anyone else’s.

Weekday weddings are rubbish. Bride and groom always think they were good and guests don’t.