Upset that husband eats my leftovers

[Triste1992]

I know its a petty situation, but I cant help but getting upset/annoyed when I dont finish my food/snack, step away from the table (to help our child for example) and come back to an empty plate because DH ate it. His excuse? I thought it was leftovers and nobody wanted it.

It happens frequently and its always the same excuse. I dont yell at him, just complain. But now, he gets upset. Today, he told me I was cheap and it degenerated into a big fight, because we are both fed up. He thinks he does nothing wrong, I feel annoyed that something I expected to eat dissapeared and that the same situation repeats and repeats. AIBU?

You are not being unreasonable OP. Sorry your husband is such a greedy pig that he can't even let you come back to your own plate.

Your title is wrong. He doesn't eat your leftovers, he eats your actual dinner. Wanker.

To avoid any doubt as you step away to help tell him I’m not finished please don’t eat this! Should you have to? Probably not but experience tells you what will happen if you don’t!

That's awful and so greedy. Next time you step away, pour a ton of salt or something horrible on it first.

YANBU although if it happened more than once to me I’d be making it very clear any time I walked away from food that I intended to return and eat it.

Do you tell him specifically, "Do not touch that, cuntybaws, I will be back to finish it"? Try that, it might work. Or ltb.

Tell him to go and deal with whatever you were getting up for - because you need to finish your food... EVERY TIME

he will soon get that not eating your food was the better option

It might be a good idea to have a discussion about the portion sizes you (as a couple, not you personally) are serving and whether they need to be adjusted.

Sounds like he needs to get off his ass and help the kids etc as he can't be trusted

Just try saying you haven't finished yet, so "don't you fucking touch my dinner" whilst you're doing x,y,z.

What's wrong with him? Does he have no self control?
He's acting like a toddler. I could NOT put up with this at all.

Btw he knows damn well what he's doing. He just thinks it doesn't matter because you're not important. Only he is.

Well, he just told me that to avoid issues, I should tell him not to touch a plate (because he thinks that its our sons leftovers), i.e. anticipate what hes going to do. I think he should simply ask and I might even tell him to have it. I dont mind sharing, I mind when someone just takes.

Haha, thats mean...

Oh! I have this problem too, mine are just going to go into the bin (so really it's wasteful), but I just find it a bit gross, basically like he's a pig

Just tell him once that he isn't to eat anything which may be your or anyone else's leftovers or half eaten meal without checking with everyone else. Having to tell him twice is two too many times.

Or as already suggested, send him to sort the kids, then maybe eat or bin his dinner as you thought he was finished.

Omg it's not a hidden away 1/2 bag of Doritos or a leftover eclair in the fridge - it's your actual dinner he eats?
What a greedy pig

When I read the title of your thread I thought yes, you are being unreasonable. Why do you care if anyone is eating your leftovers? He’s not eating your leftovers though, he’s eating your meals. I don’t think it’s a petty issue at all, he’s trying to make you feel like it is though by saying you were ‘cheap’ for addressing it. My ex would often finish my food if I’d left any but even when it was obvious that I’d finished eating he would always check and ask if I was going to eat any more before he had it.
He’s showing a real lack of care towards you. Very selfish and greedy behaviour!

Greedy pig, he knows what he's doing. Next time just tell him in no uncertain terms to leave your food alone. Not that you should have to. He's probably embarrassed when you call him out on it as he knows it's not right.

Next time your child needs help, have him take care of it and help yourself to his plate. If he complains, ask him why he's so cheap.

You can also start taking your plate with you (just to place it down somewhere until you get back) making meaningful eye contact with him while you do.

Sorry, I'm feeling petty tonight: but it sounds like your husband acts it many nights! Some people are so thick/bratty/selfish that they actually need a small amount of social etiquette humiliation for it to get through. If you can match the absurdity of his actions and he makes the connection, that's usually enough.

What a selfish, greedy pig, he is totally unreasonable. Next time your DCs ask for help during dinner, tell your husband he needs to sort them out, do not leave the table until you have finished. Let me guess, you cooked the dinners?

Get one of those plastic microwave plate covers and put a little flag in the top saying ‘leave it you fat fucker’, and place it over your food every time you leave it unattended.

Oh my God, that is sooo funny! I think I will start covering my plate with some special cover to indicate that its not unwanted leftovers.

FFS, you shouldn't have to 😡

What other shitty tricks does pull? Because greedy fuckers are usually selfish bastards as well.

As someone who is overweight, I’m hating all the “fat” and “greedy” comments. Obviously, you shouldn’t take someone else’s food without checking! You just need to say, “I’m not finished, by the way” and he needs to say “Is this food left over?” No need for it to get unpleasant, it’s just a communication issue (I fully accept if it’s happened before he should be checking with you every time!)

Definitely this. And then clear the food off his plate a couple of times while you're at it. I'm sure he may have different feelings about it then.