Upset that husband eats my leftovers

[Triste1992]

I know its a petty situation, but I cant help but getting upset/annoyed when I dont finish my food/snack, step away from the table (to help our child for example) and come back to an empty plate because DH ate it. His excuse? I thought it was leftovers and nobody wanted it.

It happens frequently and its always the same excuse. I dont yell at him, just complain. But now, he gets upset. Today, he told me I was cheap and it degenerated into a big fight, because we are both fed up. He thinks he does nothing wrong, I feel annoyed that something I expected to eat dissapeared and that the same situation repeats and repeats. AIBU?

Why wouldn't you if you were just leaving the table to help your child with something say to your husband don't touch that it's not leftovers I'm still eating it. Granted a fully grown adult should not have to be told this does he not have any impulse control or something? I couldn't deal with being with a man (child) like that.

This entire situation is bizarre.

Why on earth are you frequently leaving the room during dinner for, if not an extended period of time then certainly enough time for someone to eat a meal, which is more than 30 seconds. Just park your arse and eat your food. Get up when you're done, not before.

I have a similar situation, my husband LOVES his food and will eat & eat. Overtime I've learned that if I leave anything in the fridge I'd planned on keeping for myself (could be a chocolate bar, fizzy drink, leftover dinner) it's getting eaten!

Now I just say 'don't eat that X, I'm saving it' and he won't touch it.
Should I have to? I don't know. But if I don't, the fridge / pantry is a bloody free for all & he goes on a munch 🤣
I'd keep a bar of chocolate for ages until I want it but in his mind, he literally sees it and wants it 🙈

You just need to say to your husband you are coming back to your dinner or if you are keeping in fridge for next day, just say it.

This. Maybe just cook bigger meals.

I was also thinking that the child should be at the table with them but maybe that's because I'm old! Perhaps the child needs to leave the table to go to the toilet and needs help.

FIL did this to me once. Family meal in a pub. I'm a really slow eater. Kids gobbled their pasta and went back outside to play on the swings. Small commotion so I went to go check. Half a plate of food completely scoffed by the big fat pig that is my father-in-law before anyone else at the table noticed.

I have no problem sharing with him, because hes a tall muscular man and has more appetite than me. It just upsets me that he doesnt think before taking, especially since I told him that I didnt like it and expected to get back to my plate before.

Greedy sod. He definitely needs it spelt out to him if you leave the table, Don’t touch my meal !

My DH had an annoying habit if we’re eating a sharer pack of crisps whilst watching the TV and I’m not eating them as quickly as him he’d ask if I’d finished with them ( so he could trough all the rest ) he’d been doing it for years and a couple of weeks ago I just lost it 😂
How about I’ll tell you when I’ve had enough of the snack without you keep asking me you greedy pig !
He’s stopped doing it now 😊

I have sympathy as we had a MASSIVE row about the same issue a few weeks ago. We were out and our son is normally a good eater but distracted by everything going on in the restaurant. I took my son to the toilet and while we were gone DH ate our five year old son's food! We got back and there was only a little left and DH had fork in his hand.

The row was because I gave our son some food later when we got home which DH thought I shouldn't have done as it was a delaying tactic at bed time. He said if he's hungry now he should have eaten his dinner properly!

Kids eat slowly and he didn't get a chance to finish it because Dad ate it all!

let him get up from the table and let you finish eating

^^This

I sympathise OP! My DH doesn’t do this to me because I complained sharply about it (but loves any chance to say I’m “possessive” about food 🙄). He does it to our DD - now 3 - even though she often gets upset about it. She’s a difficult eater and does sometimes need to eat half and go back to it. I’ve told him off but get tantrums about “controlling his eating”. Garbage! Eat anything you want, get any snacks you want, but leave her plate alone!

He still does it if to me if I leave a can or bottle of drink out, he’ll always say “I threw it out it was almost empty” even when I knew there was at least half left. Even when told not to touch.

In his defence, he was the child of refugees and they grew up with food scarcity. Hes clearly neurotic about food and has trouble not overeating. He’s SE Asian and has become borderline overweight since we got together and food is now readily available.

Is it? Would it be as funny if the man called his wife a fat fucker?

Bizarre behaviour and disturbing that it's not just your DH with such entitled thinking. How disrespectful.

@kurotora you need to try and encourage your DH to get some therapy or something before you've also got a neurotic child on your hands as well. If she can't trust that her food is hers, god knows where that will end.

This is the second thread in as many days for greedy men eating their partners food?!

WTF is wrong with them? They know they are in the wrong because they get all defensive…

Also OP his size and the fact that he’s a man has nothing to do with it - he’s a greedy fucker. And very rude.

Next time tell him to get off his arse and let you finish eating

Pretty simple solution; until you place your cutlery side by side on your plate it's yours: once you place your cutlery, you're down and he can fill his boots?

In the supermarket you can buy little shakers of Garlic granules. It sounds like you should use it on your food....Or you could always have a Small plate to cover your meal if you need to leave the table. Oh better still just dont give that person the pleasure of sharing a meal with. ' Will have to eat alone from now on!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t know why people are getting so triggered by the use of the word ‘greedy’ on this thread.

It’s not greedy to eat left-overs. They’re literally kept to eat.

But these aren’t leftovers! They’re the OP’s food that she hasn’t finished and wants to eat!

Yes - it absolutely IS greedy to eat your own food and half of your partners, depriving them of food they want to eat. That’s very greedy!

And if there are people on this thread who do it to other people (I highly doubt it), then maybe this thread is the wake-up call you need.

It is absolutely greed. But people confuse greed with gluttony all the time.

Greed is about wanting more than is fair.

I’d be telling him he leaves the table to tend the child!
He is greedy selfish and dis respectful

So you have already told him and he carries on doing it?
What are you going to do now, about his blatant disrespect?

You could cook him much bigger portions when it is your turn to cook, and any excess frozen afterwards.
But the food is not the issue. The way he treats you is the issue.

Greed is disgusting. Tell him if he steals your food again you won’t be touching his dick for a whole week afterwards. Maybe a month. He’ll soon stop doing it.

You could say before you leave the table, I'm coming back for this so dont eat it. Or take your plate through cover it and say dont touchthis. . He probably genuinely thinks you've just left it as you don't want it any more. If you keep leaving it without saying anything then in his mind it's just left overs.
If you say something and he still does it, that's a different matter!

It’s not up to the OP to say ‘don’t touch my food’.

That’s a given.

It needs to be driven into his thick skull that HE should ASK before taking.

1. she HAD said something. He still does it.
2. He’s an adult man. He KNOWS that you don’t just help yourself to other people’s food at the dinner table.

He doesn’t think it’s somehow abandoned or leftover food. He simply thinks he matters more and just helps himself.

Would YOU ever just help yourself to someone else’s food, off their plate - while they’re off wiping a toddler’s bum or
something?

This isn’t subtle stuff where there might be ambiguity. You just do not help yourself to other people’s food. You ask if you can have it. Every time.

He is not a small child who doesn’t know any better. He’s an adult man and a father.