Upset that husband eats my leftovers

[Triste1992]

I know its a petty situation, but I cant help but getting upset/annoyed when I dont finish my food/snack, step away from the table (to help our child for example) and come back to an empty plate because DH ate it. His excuse? I thought it was leftovers and nobody wanted it.

It happens frequently and its always the same excuse. I dont yell at him, just complain. But now, he gets upset. Today, he told me I was cheap and it degenerated into a big fight, because we are both fed up. He thinks he does nothing wrong, I feel annoyed that something I expected to eat dissapeared and that the same situation repeats and repeats. AIBU?

Don’t blame the OP for poor communication because she hasn’t said that he shouldn’t eat the food off her plate mid-meal when shes left the table for a moment to get the door or sort out a child or something.

I dated a man like this once, kept eating my dinner if I popped to the loo in a restaurant or once he finished his meal would start picking at mine. Maybe it’s him 😂

Surely the answer is that he does whatever you were about to do while you finish your dinner. When he gets up nick any best bits from his plate. He'll soon stop playing his stupid game.

I'd probably stab him in the hand with my fork if I caught him - only joking! - but hate with a passion people "sharing" my food. It's plain greedy. Does he do that with your DCs food too?

Missing the point slightly but if he's finished, why isn't he stepping away from the table to deal with the child while you eat?

It's the disrespect that would boil my piss. You are not his mum you shouldn't have to tell him not to eat what's on your plate. Unless he has special needs and needs clear instructions for everything? But even so you wouldn't think he'd keep bloody doing it.

Stabbing his hand would be the next step in the cartoon saga of the greedy, selfish husband who steals his wife’s food off her plate.

Not the same thing and saved waste. Hardly a pig

If that scenario is indeed the case then yes, there is a problem and he is a greedy pig. If Op regularly scrapes her food into the bin at the end of the meal then good communication of I've finished/I've not finished would resolve this.

But even if she does scrape her plate regularly at the end of the meal, there’s no need to explain to him mid-meal that he shouldn’t help himself to her dinner.

If he wants to eat her food, he needs to ask if she’s finished and, if so, can he eat her leftovers. She doesn’t need to explain anything to him.

Sorry but he’s acting like a dog - quite literally. Mine recons every plate that isn’t being guarded is his for the taking. I’d get the major ick, not sure how you can stand sharing a bed with him.

Change your title. He isn’t eating your “leftovers” he is eating your actual meals! You shouldn’t have to but tell him you haven’t finished and are coming back to it.

Inexcusable.

So you agree good communication would help resolve this. Communication is a two-way thing. You usually say something when leaving the table "oh just need to take some washing out the machine, I just need to send a text, etc".

Actual footage of the OP’s husband.

No. I don’t agree that this is about two way communication.

The OP is not failing to communicate with him. He’s just absolutely ignoring basic social rules.

If there’s a communication problem, it is him who is the problem.

This

It used to be social rules to be asked to be excused for leaving the table.

Only if you think the husband is in charge and she needs to ask permission to sort out their children while he sits there and eats her dinner.

He is just in the wrong. Unequivocally. The OP HAS told him not to eat her food but he basically wants to make her ranger smith to his yogi bear.

And yogi may be amusing, but he’s a menace to the park.

As children, we had the phrase "daddy dustbin".

He'd sit there and moan about how he always got "the scrappy bits", when in fact he'd always get the largest portion of whatever it was. If it was something like a meat pie, he'd take it apart and count how many actual pieces of meat were in his slice, and then complain about whatever number it was.

He'd also sit and wait for us kids to just start to show signs of being full, and then would lean across and swipe whatever was left on our plates. We'd literally still have knife and fork in hand, and he'd be stealing our food.

We discovered, later in life, that he'd grown up with a very disordered view of food. He was the much younger youngest child in the family. His mum had grown up in all-female boarding schools from a very young age after her mum died and her dad did a bunk. She knew absolutely nothing about young boys and their eating requirements. His dad work long hours, far from home, was very likely autistic, and although he loved his kids, there was a lot of benign neglect, as child-rearing was still very much womens work.
He literally DID grow up on the scrappy bits at the dinner table.
He recounted going off to university and being mind-blown when he was able to eat an entire peach to himself.

Honestly, until my dad was in his 60s, we'd just all thought he was a pig. It was only when he started to make disclosures about his upbringing that we started to understand.

All of this, plus next time stab him with your redundant fork.

But you’d only have to do it once…

Why isn't he getting up from the table?!

He needs to get up and deal with the child / issue. Yeah him you can't as you're still eating.

It’s not even leftovers, the greedy fat cunt steals your dinner and eats as soon as you’ve gone to tend to your shared child. And not only that, he leaves the empty plate on the table for you to clear up.

I find him disgusting.

Just tell him that you haven't finished.