Upset that husband eats my leftovers

[Triste1992]

I know its a petty situation, but I cant help but getting upset/annoyed when I dont finish my food/snack, step away from the table (to help our child for example) and come back to an empty plate because DH ate it. His excuse? I thought it was leftovers and nobody wanted it.

It happens frequently and its always the same excuse. I dont yell at him, just complain. But now, he gets upset. Today, he told me I was cheap and it degenerated into a big fight, because we are both fed up. He thinks he does nothing wrong, I feel annoyed that something I expected to eat dissapeared and that the same situation repeats and repeats. AIBU?

@VashtaNerada - but he is being greedy!

Agree with you on the fat comments though.

I'm overweight too and I DEFINITELY think he's a greedy pig!! He's finishing her dinner when she steps away for a second!!! He knows full well she isn't finished!

Tell him. Just say, ‘Don’t eat my dinner’, and don’t get up from the table until you are finished. If something is so urgent that you need to get up in the middle of a meal then he should be doing that at least half the time.

Feel like him thinking it was your son's leftovers is a pretty important detail left out in the OP

He’s doing it in purpose.

It’s not on you to tell him not to touch your unfinished food.

It’s on HIM to ASK you whether you’re finished or not, and if he can snuffle at the trough like the festering pig he is.

He ASKS before shoving anything in his greedy pie-hole.

Why should your son's leftovers be on your plate?

The general rule of leftovers that nobody else wants - is to ask everyone first if nobody else wants them! So I'm not buying that excuse

One is a mistake, twice could be put down to forgetting... anymore after that and its 100% on purpose.

I'd be raging if my DP got mad at me for being unhappy about him literally stealing my food

He's selfish, is this the only example or is it just the tip of the dickhead iceberg? Does he ever step away from his dinner to deal with something or is that just your job?

The thought of OP walking away from the table with her plate while pointedly staring at him has really made me laugh

It's also incredibly wasteful.

If you’re often stepping away to help your kids, you keep yourself firmly seated and say dad will help! Go on Dh I can’t leave my seat as you’ll eat my dinner if I do.

It’s more wasteful to eat extra food that you don’t need.
Not surprised people have weight issues with that attitude.

Did the OP say he had weight issues? Is it food he doesn't need? If I eat more at one meal then I am less hungry at the next so it is not wasteful.

I don't disagree that he should ask first, but the amount of sheer festering rage on Mumsnet always genuinely surprises me. Unhappy marriages I guess

Yes, I agree. If it is with agreement then it is perfectly reasonable to share food and finish food. Sometimes one person isn't hungry and another is.

So not only does he expect you to get up and deal with the kids part way through your meal (do his legs work?) but then he steals your food? it's not eating your leftovers is it? Then he argues over it instead of apologising.

Misogyny at its best.

But it’s not with agreement, hence the point of the thread.

I realise that, not checking first is wrong. It's all the comments referring to him as a pig at a trough, as if finishing leftovers at all is pig like behaviour rather than just avoiding wasting food.

I mean someone suggested tipping salt on it! Then no-one can eat it so the OP misses out and it is wasted.

What he’s really saying is he can’t hold space for thinking about anyone but himself. Is he like this in other ways?

After so many incidents just do this.

It makes sense that the parent who has finished eating deals with the kids.

Once is a misunderstanding, after that it's childish and greedy. He knows that so he's defensive and angry.

This. Stop leaving the table all the time. He can do his share of disrupted dinners. You bave to deal with the child and your husband then eats your food. If he isnt stupid, of course that is deliberate. He is selfish and greedy man.

tonight when there is a need to leave the table to deal with your child, tell dh to deal with him. I bet you suddenly realise that he is selfish, greedy and a lazy parent.

the other option is have your child at the table when you have dinner and model good eating habits.

I agree.

Him eating your leftovers is absolutely fine.

Him eating your food that you’re still finishing, is absolutely not fine.

Tell him to sort the baby next time because you’re still eating.
Then eat what’s on his plate.

In the grand scheme of things, this is such a minor thing but it’s something I’d seriously consider ending my relationship over.

Because this isn’t about the food, it’s about how little respect he has for you and even though you’ve asked him not to, he ignores you and does it anyway.