Nursery worker telling DD her behaviour…

[Ohwhatsthatnoise]

…will make mummy sad.

And this just isn’t sitting well with me. Wondered what others would think? For context, DD is 2 and the most beautiful, headstrong little girl in the world. I hope to raise her be strong, to be kind, and to be brave. I don’t think I’d ever tell her that her behaviour makes me sad. I’d rather she understood the consequences of her actions. Today, she didn’t show good listening skills when she was asked not to do something, and she kept doing it and her key worker told her this would make me sad. I’d rather it was explained to her why she needed to listen.

If I were to say something to her key worker, would this come across as fluffy parenting with no discipline? It’s an eternal worry of mine because she is the love of my life and I worry I’ll be too soft on her.

I agree with you! This would annoy me. 1. It's a damaging thing to say, if my child's upset then I want her to be able to communicate why she's upset without worrying that she will make me feel sad. 2. How the hell would she know what does and doesn't make me sad?? Who even are you, you don't know me at all. As a parent or otherwise! So don't tell my child this. Cheeky cow. I would be having words with her, Nursery workers get way above their station.

So we're supposed to tell them not to cry and beat them with a cane?...

No. Nursery workers do not bring up children, how fucking insulting. Most people have to work and if you are lucky enough not to have to then good for you, but shut your trap and don't try to belittle others who may not have a choice.

And what station is that exactly?

They do play their part in a child’s upbringing. It takes a village and all that.

Gosh - you are extremely fluffy with your "headstrong" child who "didn't show good listening skills"! She was naughty and they gently reprimanded her - I would imagine you let her get away with a lot.

Instilling strange forms of discipline and speaking to children as if they are the parent. If they have an issue they should speak to the parents and agree a way forward. Not come up with comments like this. Some of them think they are child psychologists.

I’m all for raising girls to be strong, confident women who aren’t socialised to be overly polite but I don’t think reprimanding a key worker for an innocuous comment is the way to go. She’s someone’s beautiful daughter too. (If female).

They’re in loco parentis. Some of them will have more insight into their charges’ behaviour than parents

Doesn't give them the right to act like parents. Professional boundaries.

So no disciplining children in their care?

There are appropriate ways to discipline children in your professional care. You wouldn't (hopefully) find a teacher using emotionally inappropriate language like this when they're at school.

Yes of course but they don't 'bring them up' just because a parent works it doesn't mean they are not bringing up their children, it's just a snarky thing that some SAHMs say to justify their own choices/life and bring down other women. Bitchy and unnecessary.