@thepastinsidethepresent · 24/02/2024 13:21
Speaking as someone who's sufficiently long in the tooth to remember the days when a daily phone call counted as a lot of contact, sometimes I feel like the world's gone mad. People who are saying it 'only takes a minute' to message someone back are missing the point imho. The expectation that people should drop everything and reply instantly if someone else happens to feel like messaging them feels really entitled.
I do have and use WhatsApp and other messaging apps, and I use them, as well as texting. But I abhor the pressure to be always reachable and the expectation that replies will be instantaneous. People probably think I'm being arsey with them sometimes because I'm not permanently glued to my phone, don't always have any messaging apps open, and therefore don't see their messages for a few hours, or even sometime - gasp! - till the next day.
But my friends and family know I care about them without me having to pepper them with texts to prove it. They also know that if there's a genuine need I will put other things to one side and spend time messaging/talking with/seeing them. But it's simply not reasonable to expect everyone to be constantly receptive to and engaged in every message exchange others happen to feel like initiating. People have lives to live.
I think the frequency of communication OP's describing from her friend is excessive, personally. Barring situations where an emergency might arise (e.g. with a vulnerable parent), we simply do not have to be at the constant beck and call of our friends or relatives in order for them to know they are being thought about and cared about.
I do agree with this - and I actually agree with it as somebody who is a person that gets a bit stressed when somebody doesn't text me within an hour or two. LOL 😆 (SOMEtimes, not always. I can wait a few hours sometimes without moaning that they don't love me. I'm kidding! I'm not 😆)
I've tried to be a lot better over the last year or two and I give my daughters probably 5 or 6 hours, and if they haven't responded me, I'll just message and say 'hi. Did you get my text/whatapp message?' Only once or a week maybe, not every day! I know I'm probably annoying sometimes and I try not to be.
Sometimes I'll wait till the next day. But if they haven't answered within a day and a half, I will message again yes. Sometimes it's coz they don't even notice my notification - because they've got about 20 friends between them and dozens of colleagues and acquaintances, and my social circle is much smaller and I am less busy.
Also, sometimes my message has dropped down and they admit they didn't see it - and apologise. It does happen. They don't need to apologise but they do.
What does annoy me a tiny bit, is sometimes one of my daughters will message me on Whatsapp 2 or 3 messages over a couple of minutes and then I answer them back a couple of minutes later ... And then they don't come back to me until two days later. What's that about? Maybe somebody in their mid 20s can tell me. 
I do agree that texting/whatapping etc has made people much more reachable quickly and there is an expectation for people to respond quickly, but also the landline did that too! When someone used to ring me, and I wasn't there/didn't answer, they would expect me to ring back as soon as I got the answerphone message. I mean I know they couldn't know when I got it, but they know I would get it soon/a few hours later probably.
Also, people could put their whatapp status to unavailable, and switch off their messenger status in facebook, so the person can't see they have read the message.