To be a bit annoyed at double texting friend

[Sundaycoffee]

AIBU to expect someone to read the room when I don't reply to text messages straight away?
I have a friend who has a lot more spare time than I and she tends to double text a lot which is starting to grate on me a bit.
For example yesterday evening she sent me a standard "hello how are you doing?" type message with details of her day. Nothing urgent. I was out last night so didn't get time to reply and then today I'm at work, busy busy. Gym, making dinner. I've only just sat down at 9pm to look at my phone to see she's sent me another message a couple of hours ago.
It's another hello, how are you message with more details about her day. As if she hadn't sent the last one at all!
Is this normal? If I had text a friend a non urgent message and she hadn't responded in 24 hours I wouldn't send a follow up saying the same thing.
I think it annoys me as it makes me feel like she thinks she's entitled to my time/attention when she wants it rather than when it suits me to respond.
If this was a one off I wouldn't mind so much but it happens frequently and then I feel guilty for not responding faster!

Hasn't it already been confirmed? She suggested a walk on Friday and you said yes. End of conversation? I expect that's how she sees it

If you want to start a new conversation about where/when you are meeting then I think that's fine.

itsfinallyover I'd definitely meet up with friend two.

For me nothing is confirmed unless time and place is set. Four days is long enough to do that.

No, it hasn't been confirmed. She asked if I was available, I said yes, she ghosted me. She hasn't responded to me saying I'm available at all.

I've messaged her and said I've been asked to do something with another friend on Friday so if I don't here from her by this evening I'll be making other plans.

I also don't intend to spend all of Friday with her. I could probably see my other friend as well if she had actually come up with a time, place etc. At the moment she's reserved the entirety of my day off work until she deigns to reply to me.

I'm just using this as an illustration of the 'entitlement' of people who don't reply sometimes. Not the OP, as I get that's chat.

But all these people saying they message when it suits them - do you realise that sometimes you are having an effect on the part of the other person to get on and plan their time?

@itsfinallyover

Sorry but I'm not seeing how this isn't confirmed. Someone suggests you do a particular activity on a particular day, you say yes. In my book that's confirmed 🤷🏻‍♀️

No, there is no time stated for the activity. I am not blocking out a full day for a dog walk. If you have the time to do that then that's great for you, but a casual enquiry about whether I'm working next week does not equate to my time blocked out for the entire day.

She's just replied saying she "thought she had replied".

That's what she always says.

Personally I wouldn’t text a friend about something like this on a Sunday as I would assume they were busy with family.

You wouldn’t even text just because it was Sunday? I get that you wouldn’t expect a friend to spend an hour on the phone then, but seriously, a text takes seconds. No one’s going to report you to the NSPCC if you answer a text on a Sunday.

@itsfinallyover

But you didn't suggest a time either. You just said 'sounds good' implying that you're happy with any time.

Why not just say, 'sure I'm free at xx time if that works for you?'

Well she's apologised for not confirming and saying she forgot to reply so you'll just have to take mine and her interpretation rather than your own.

Just my preference. You don’t have to agree with it!

I like to let people alone and respect their time on a Sunday. And again, it’s not just about you or me, everyone is assuming that they are the only one texting! If a friend receives ten texts on a Sunday from various friends and contacts then that potentially could become a real intrusion.

Is the Sunday thing a religious thing? Like day of rest? Jewish people can't use electronics on Sabbath (which I know isn't Sunday) can they is it like that?

Are you going to try to see both friends, then?

Bit fucking harsh she's only texted twice in a row. I don't think that makes someone a tactless idiot who believes the world revolves around them. Just a person who wants some communication? OP is free to ignore. What a miserable life you must lead to think this!

I wouldn't double text unless there was something I absolutely needed to tell them. I think it looks a bit needy

Yep definitely rude to double text with the same message and total lack of social awareness.
It's saying "pay attention to me now!"
Think people are not understanding what's it like to reply to a message, think "okay good I've replied/caught up with X, now I can reply to next friend who needs replying to/do whatever job"
And you get a reply straight away wanting more replies, and more, and more.
It's so rude and small minded to think your time is only for them.

And you aren't taking the hint??!

Pretty rude just to ghost someone rather than excuse yourself from a meetup, isn't it?

It's like some people feel completely self righteous about their right to not communicate if they don't feel like it.

How childish. Just communicate clearly if something doesn't work for you, honestly this thread reads like 14 year olds wrote it in parts.

I do wonder how these people get along in the workplace. Probably just ignore emails they don't fancy replying to. In fact I've come across plenty of organisations where this happens so yeah, they probably do.

Absolute immaturity.

What's rude is taking over someone else's thread with your own specific problem

What on earth are you talking about?

Could you reply and acknowledge what she’s said about her day, a bit of info about yours and then say “I’m just about to cook/gym/shower
so I won’t text anymore today but can we catch up for a good chat at the weekend/next week “

That’s kind and engaging but also gives you some breathing space.

You blathering on with your Friday anecdote

It was a question in relation to the content of the thread. If it's hard for you to follow just ignore?

Well she's apologised for not confirming and saying she forgot to reply so you'll just have to take mine and her interpretation rather than your own.

@itsfinallyover

But equally, you gave her nothing to reply to. You didn't ask about what time you were meeting and now you're getting your knickers all in a bunch and complaining on a public forum because she hasn't 'replied' to your non existent question.

You have a serious attitude problem, I'm surprised that you have any friends.