the petition going round about dads in hospitals

[strawberryswizzler]

just me who is absolutely against this idea? i’ve had 2 c-sections. one emergency, one elective. could barely sit myself up to feed my baby nevermind walk properly etc, i felt so vulnerable. the thought of being in a 4 bed bay separated only by curtains with random men who could be anyone makes me feel ill. anyone else??

But yours are more important than mine of course!

The safety of women in vulnerable states is what is most important.

I hope they give you enough space or at least a bed nearer a wall and not central. There really isn’t the room for two babies.

I belong to a twin group and we were all moved into private rooms, some immediately and some after the nurse switchover when they reassess who is to go home. You are given priority

Men were allowed 25 years ago when I had dd, but only one did stay, plus the mother of the young lady who had an emergency c section at 36 weeks, poor girl was pretty shook up and the mum was helpful to us all fetching water etc. I did talk to the young lady quite a bit (she had only realised she was pregnant 4 weeks prior and nothing was ready) can you imagine!

Do you have no women in your life who could have advocated for you instead so that other women could feel safe?

Genuine ….it’s not a case of wish and wants. No clinician would put that above safety.
Its a case of need.
What we need is more nurses
What we have is post surgery patients with a baby and not enough staff.

But I wasn’t safe, I could have easily collapsed whilst I was wandering round the hospital in the early hours…and I could have easily been overpowered in deserted corridors. But you are far more important than me!

The space was tight with just one baby when I had DS and we were next to a wall.

Thanks. Hopefully it will be the case for me.

Which is why I think this petition is wrong. It should be campaigning for more staff and better facilities.

I agree. I think female support for those who have it would help though, as then staff would have more time to support any women who have no mum, sister or friend to be with them.

I don’t mind partners staying overnight but as long as they are quiet snd discreet.
There should be more nursing assistants to help instead though.
Twice I have stayed in hospital after my kids, first time a loud overbearing man doing work calls at 2 in the morning. Woke up half the
ward. Second time the man brought in Indian food around midnight, I mean I love a korma but there is a time and place. Annoying I just wanted quiet time. I don’t mind listening to babies crying but men being loud, eating smelly food, snoring is a no no

Absolutely👏👏👏👏

I’ve been in a place with Dads and without Dad’s and the without Dad’s was 100% a better experience. It felt so calm and safe and the staff had time for the other Mothers.

Others on here have commented they just don’t have a female support network.
I don’t either.
Its just not that simple

I wrote that allowing a female support for those who have one would allow staff to focus more on a woman who is alone. It would improve the situation for both groups.

It wouldn't. Further reliance on personal support will just lead to further reductions in staffing levels.

My experience was the exact opposite to this. The birth centre which allowed dads and provide a lovely en suite room also had kind staff who were attentive. The post natal ward which didn’t allow dads was also fairly aggressively anti-mother too.

It would be preferable to allowing men overnight, which could have the same effect on staffing. I don't think anyone disagrees that staffing should be improved.

Gosh.
What do you mean by anti mother. Can you expand

The more progressive healthcare systems are finding better ways to involve fathers.
Which makes your suggestion that any woman wanting their partner there is needy and entitled rather pathetic @Genuineweddingone

Oh no, I completely disagree with this. The woman is already doing all the work at this point

That’s a matter of biology though.
It doesn’t need to be the way forward afterwards.

I think it's an unhelpful myth that mum and dad are "equal parents" right from the start and just encourages men to want to be centered as usual by perpetuating it. The woman's needs are more important here and there needs to be a way for them to be met without harming other women.

Completely agree. Further, I don't think there is any responsibility on any post partum woman to create any type of experience for any man.

What? There was a different partner in the bathroom with you?

Don't be so dramatic ffs, its a bathroom. Women wee and poo there too