Sick of pretending to wear heels

[EarthyMangold]

I am in my mid 40s and I never learned how to wear high heels. When I was young it was the 1990s/early 2000s and we all wore doc martens or trainers with pretty dresses. I work in an industry wear high heels are inappropriate. I own a couple of pairs of carefully chosen "comfortable" heels and have worn them very occasionally for weddings/special occasions, but I really can't deal with them at all. They look nice, but I walk very strangely in them and always end up barefoot after a couple of hours because they are so uncomfortable.
I have been invited to a friend's wedding this month and I would really like to enjoy it. I am thinking to wear a black and pink dress with long (new) doc marten style boots a la 1995. I know I could get some flat "ladies" shoes but I really don't want to. I love wearing DMs and to me, it's a good look. Since it is February and the UK I am hoping to get away with it.

YABU - heels are obligatory for female wedding guests, I should at least wear flat pumps.
YANBU - I am way over-thinking this one, nobody gives a toss what I wear and the boots will look awesome.

I don't wear heels, I feel no pressure to. I don't understand why you would if you don't get on with them? Just wear nice flat-ish shoes?

Will the dms be covered by the dress?

For me personally I don’t like that look, but that aside they’re very clunky and casual for something like a wedding - the same way that trainers would be too casual.

I also hate heels, but there’s always plenty of flat shoes around that would work for a wedding.

@Swipernoswipingg nope

I don't wear heels.

Never have.

However DMs and a dress is a very specific look and it might not be appropriate for a wedding,

A couple of years ago everyone was wearing dresses and white trainers - is there an equivalent now?

I've never worn heels. I wore DMs and dresses in the 90s, but I'm more of a trainer girl now, which is even better on the comfort scale I find.

Do you have a picture of the dress?

I cant believe you started a thread about this so you are unreasonable in that respect.

Just wear the bloody shoes you like and that are comfortable

(I dont wear heels anywhere to anything)

I think it depends on the style of wedding. For some, that look will be perfectly fine. If the wedding is very traditional, I would say wear nice flats.

There are hundreds of alternatives to wearing heels or DMs, many of which are more appropriate for wearing to a wedding which unless it is particularly casual will require something more formal.

if you insist on DMs know at least half the attendees will interpret that as @EarthyMangold couldn’t be bothered to make an effort.

I don’t understand why you’re making this about heels. Nobody thinks you should have to wear heels to anything. Your post is actually “DMs vs all other shoes of any sort”.

You don’t have to wear high heels for a wedding, or anywhere else. But there’s a whole range of options between a pair of stilettos and a pair of Doc Marten boots. Can’t you find a nice pair of smartish flat shoes for the occasion? DMs will look like a bit of a statement, whether you want them to or not.

There’s definitely a middle ground between DMs and heels!

Fine not to wear heels. DMs aren't wedding attire. Find a different shoe.

I've put YANBU because YANBU to not wear heels. No need for heels.

But I'd agree with others that DMs might not have a weddingy effort to dress up vibe.

I hate heels too. I never wear them and it's no big deal. No one ever comments and I don't think anyone ever notices.
I wouldn't wear DMs to a wedding unless it's a very lad back wedding. I actually love DMs and a dress but for a wedding I'd wear nice flats.

I would wear DMs to a wedding dependent on outfit

And I wouldnt bat an eyelid to see someone else wearing them either.

Don't wear heels. It's fine to wear flats or a slight heel. Honestly no one cares and it's definitely not expected.

Edited to say I never wear heels. I'm 38 haven't for about 18 years!

Why not wear your heels/flats to the ceremony and save your DM’s for the reception? A lot of wedding guests switch shoes then anyway :)

It really depends on the wedding (hosts and other guests) I've been to some weddings where that would be absolutely fine others and it would be deeply frowned upon.
You know your friends who are getting married so that's the starting point.

I actually love heels but has RA and over the (25) years it's progressed so badly in my feet (fused toes) that I am severely limited to what I can wear but heels have been a huge no no for many years and I've managed to find appropriate footwear for lots of occasions where heels are usually the default choice. I've got to have a particular footbed shape / support so it's even more tricky than just no heels.

Even if that choice isn't appropriate for those friends there are lots of other choices out there that aren't heels.

Not wearing heels is fine...in fact heels are old fashioned now

But I wouldn't wear DMs to a wedding unless it was going to be a bit alternative...a pair of pretty flats would be better

I can't wear heels at all either
Never have done

I think DMs would be out of place at most weddings.

But no one will bat an eyelid at you not wearing heels, so just find some comfy flats. They don't need to be pumps, especially in February.

DMs are fine if that is your personal style. You also know your friend and whether she will be bothered. Quite honestly, after the event, very few people are going to remember what anyone other than the bride was wearing and very few weddings these days are the stuffy, old fashioned things of the past.

I don't wear heels. Nice flat shoes are definitely possible.